Avail Yourself Are You There, Vodka? Its Me, Chelsea Outlined By Chelsea Handler Displayed As Copy

have never watched Chelsea Handler's show, but she had me laughing several times throughout the book, Several times throughout the book, I found myself cringing with secondhand embarrassment and outwardly laughing at her comedic timing.
From the beginning of the book, Handler establishes herself as a compulsive liar, so I assume that several of her stories are not entirely true.
She's brazen, hilarious, and probably a tad crazy, and her ability to weave stories out of every day life made for a great read.
Like most comedians, sometimes others were the butt of the joke, which I did not always love reading.
The majority of her jokes landed, leaving this reader ready to read more from her, Cutting edge, funny sexy stories, Having seen Chelsea doing stand up and on Girls Behaving Badly, I was anxious to see how her wicked sarcastic wit would translate into text.
It's fantastic! A seriously gifted writer, who combines funny and raunchy better than any woman,

I mean wild, hilarious and uninhibited story telling, And it's not just the sheer ridiculous situations she encounters, She reflects about her mindless journeys and the meaning of life in such an amusing, selfdeprecating cynical manner.
Its filled with funny anecdotes, She just has that trashy comedienne's gift of saying everything we think about but are afraid to say.
And she manages to share absolutely horrifying situations and somehow make them hysterical!

There are some hilarious and uncomfortable family situations.
Her father was quite the provider of wisdom, selling used junkyard cars out of their front yard, while making inappropriate sexual innuendos towards his daughters.


She shares some really funny embarrassing youth debacles and misadventures, and of course her bizarre sexual encounters with some serious screw ups.
My favorite of Chelsea's embarrassing recollections: her preposterous fake celebrity elementary school tale, a LOL birthday party for a friendless girl full of regifting, pretending to be honeymooning with her father in order to upgrade to first class.
The MiniMe and Prison Break chapters are just classics, Frankly if she wasn't successful, she may have ended up a basket case,

If you are sensitive or quick to take offense, I would pass on this one, If you have a repressed wild side, you'll dive in headfirst and relish her antics and live vicariously through them.
Also, if you like reading funny out of control drinking and sex stories, I'm halfway through Chelsea's other book.
. .
sitelinkMy Horizontal Life: A Collection of OneNight Stands and it's great,

I also recommend reading the guys version of this book, Wild steamy Penthouse stories, VIP partying, and it's even funnier than Chelsea's stuff,
sitelinkHigh Heels and Dirty Deals Globetrotting Tales of Debauchery from a Bingedrinking Nymphomaniac
My mother is European and likes to remind us of that every time any of us ask her when she took her last shower.
When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power vodka.
You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class.
Welcome to Chelsea's world a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense.

In this hilarious, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous.
Whether she's convincing her thirdgrade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rumswilling little person who looks just like her.
. . only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations,
Are You There, Vodka It's Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today.
I've always been a fan of Chelsea Handler's dry humor, but this was just "eh" to me, There were some funny moments where I laughed out loud, but most of it kinda fell flat for me.
She also has a lot of "messed up" jokes, like about rape and little people that I was uncomfortable with.
I listened to this on audio, which I recommend since it's read by Chelsea and a lot of the jokes are all about the delivery.
You can skip it though, This is the funniest book I have listened to in a really long time, To say Handler has a funny bone is putting it mildly, I was cracking up so hard and loud people glared at me, Seriously, glared.

Handler has taken bits of her life or someone's life and made an amazing story out of it.
I only wish I had her other books now, Alas, I'm on that eternal hold list at the library, If you need a good laugh I would definitely recommend Handler! What was I thinking when I put this book on my list of audios that I wanted my audioflix service to send me Oh well, give it a try, I thought, as I slid the first disk into the proper slot in the minivan.
Well, I'm glad that I still have my lightening reflexes and battle tested driving skills because I was careening down the interstate laughing out loud at this book while goingmiles per hour and you thought that driving while talking on the telephone was dangerous.
Chelsea Handler picks stories from her family, relationships, childhood, and career for this group of hysterical essays, The best part was that she read this book so I didn't even have to imagine hearing the stories in her voice.
Now a word of caution: if you have never seen her television show, Chelsea Handler Lately, on the Comedy Channel, please watch it a time a or two before reading or listening to this book.
On a scale ofto, she can hit aon language and references to sex, drinking, and recreational drugs.
But, apparently, this didn't faze a woman of my quality, Now I'm trying to decide if I want to risk reading My Horizontal Lifea series of essays about her onenight stands in her youth.
Doesn't she know that we are still trying to pretend to our parents that our onenight stands never happened But, if you like ribald humor, and I do, I recommend this book to you.
Except Hope, please don't read this, I have WAY too much respect for you to subject you to this book, It's bad enough that you have to put up with me on a daily basis, Oh, and Leslie, don't read this, I can just see you getting that look on your face that I so enjoy when I speak or act inappropriately.
This book was just as much fun as Handler's first but possibly darker, Not that she got meaner or grosser but in this book I was often wondering, since for the most part, Handler does seem to actually wish to not overtly hurt anyone's feelings, how obvious it was to the people discussed that they were subjects.
Some of them seemed to deserve it but nonetheless, this newer book seemed meaner, Handler has fantastic stories I don't care if she has made them all up, I think her books are being marketed incorrectly they look so trashy, especially this second one when in fact they don't read trashy.
Not that Handler does not tell stories that reveal a wildness but they are good enough to not be marketed as trash.
They stand well on their own, Without her picture on the cover, . . Funny. I enjoyed Chelsea Handler's first book, My Horizontal Life, It was selfdeprecatingly funny, and I imagined that a lot of the things that happened in the book actually happened to Ms.
Handler.

Her new book is overthetop and unflattering to her family, She could learn something from David Sedaris and other humorist writers about how to write about one's family and life with some wit and subtlety.


And jokes about race and abortion are just not my cup of tea,

What a disappointment, Are you there Vodka Its Me Chelsea

Everything about this book is clever, starting with the title.
To any Judy Blume fan, the parody is obvious, but even the lessinformed reader to whom I will now impart the title of Blumes novel, Are you there God Its me, Margaret would find this title an apt one.
Are you there Vodka chronicles Chelsea Handlers sexual antics across all realms, from weddings, to summer flings, to family vacations, and while the men and midgets vary widely, one factor remains constant: her drink of choice, vodka.

Handlers writing is selfmocking, but in a comically arrogant sort of way, Her manner reminds me of the way men boast to one another in such hyperbolic terms that each man knows the other cannot be serious and probably, in fact, believe the exact opposite about themselves, compared to what they are saying.
Still, their claims become increasingly more broad and bombastic, as if needing to declare, “yes I did!” and “yes I am!”
Dry humor is the sitelinksaving grace of this sort of comedic writing, because without it, Handlers tales would come off as absurd and callous.
Readers would feel inclined to chastise her reprehensible behavior, because superficially, it truly is the way mothers most fear their daughters will act in their teens and twenties and even early thirties.
Instead, Handler is witty and selfmocking enough to make you spend most of the book wondering how much of each story is true and how much she is over exaggerating for effect.
This guessing game turns into the compounding “oh my god, no she didnt!” reaction you experience when your girlfriend tells you about “what a wild weekend she had.
” Except according to this book, Handler doesnt have wild weekends she has a wild life,
Blume fans, dont try this book unless you transitioned to at least the level of the Sweet Valley Twins series in later adolescence.
Otherwise, you may suffer from painful fingerwagging and irrepressible groaning,
Bridget Joness Diary fans, read on, And try Handlers My Horizontal Life, too,
Those in betweenread at your own risk, If you believe you may harbor puritan strains deep in your heart, I will warn you that you may not find Handlers humor funny.
But if you have a repressed wild side, following Handlers antics is one of the best ways to live vicariously.
Admittedly, I don't usually read books like this, but found Are You There, Vodka It's Me, Chelsea to be an overall entertaining collection.
The first four essays were, far and away, the 'best' in the collection, Until reading this book, I had no familiarity with Handler,

Totally underwhelming and inconsistently hilarious, Admittedly, the parts that were funny really were fantastic, However, Chelsea Handler glosses over and rearranges life events in order to align them just so and thusly make whatever anecdote she's recounting work like one of her performance jokes.


Everything works just a little too well for these to be legitimate essays, Rather, the book reads like an ongoing standup routine with more detail added,

Overall, it's a

good effort: Handler isn't the best writer and is occasionally downright dismal, but her stories are generally amusing.
Horrible. Chelsea Lately is a great show, and Chelsea Handler a talented comedian, But this book is bad, A colossal disappointment. The whole crass “shock value” thing wears thin really quickly, I might have laughed a couple of times, but not enough to warrant even a second star.
Find all of my reviews at: sitelink blogspot. com/

I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID A DNF!!!! Mind you, it was an audiobook of a physical book I had already read, but hey I had to start somewhere, right So now you might be wondering how in the eff am I managing toStar something IStarred in the past.
Welllllll, lemme tell ya . .

sitelink

Chelsea Handler has a voice that I want to punch right in the throat.
I convinced myself I could get past it and the funny would outweigh the fingernailsonachalkboard reaction I have had to her speaking in the past, but it was not meant to be.
In fact, her delivery makes this book decidedly UNFUNNY even when I knew the material had me literally LOLing the first time around.
Lesson learned and any future Handler endeavors by me will be strictly via print,
This is the first book I've read by Chelsea, I know who she is, but I've never see any of her shows, her routines or even realized she was on Girls Behaving Badly.
I've seen clips of her here and there and thought that she was pretty funny and that Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea looked like an entertaining book.
And yup I was right, it was definitely entertaining!

Where to start with this book! It was so wrong on so many levels but oh so funny! I mean like soda coming out of my nose funny and at times even close to peeing my pants funny.


She starts out talking a bit about her younger years but swiftly moves on into her's and goes through different escapades in her life all the way up to.


One of my favorites and probably the longest story in the book is her day or so in jail which started out as a DUI and turned into a fraud charge because her OWN sister turned her in for using her ID! Her own sister! I think I would want to kick my sisters ass if I were her.
Anyways that story in its own was really funny especially her new found friendship with Lucille who was in jail for killing her sister.
Chelsea's sister should really thank her lucky she wasn't born into that family,

My next favorite story is with her boyfriend at the time "Mohammed" who accompanies Chelsea while she's dog sitting for a friend pretty much against her will, but she doesn't have the backbone to tell her friend no.
Something happens with Mohammed and one of the dogs that was disturbingly funny, Actually this was probably more interesting than real a favorite, One that my ears could not unhear but I was still glad she put it in the book.


Chelsea's stories are definitely not politically correct and even a little raunchy at times, but I think it makes it that much funnier.
And I'm sorry but what really good comic does not offend someone in their way of trying to get a laugh.
I actually commend comics because they take big risks in the fact that they are possibly really going to piss some people off or not have the audience receive their jokes very well and laugh at all.


I have one negative thing to say about Chelsea and I guess it's more of an observation than anything, and I'm not even sure if it's relative any longer because this book is aboutyears old.
This woman drinks like a fish! I was seriously shocked by the amount of alcohol she can consume, I guess thus the title! But everyone has their faults and whatever makes you happy!


After reading Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea I really think I need to see some of her stand up routines and check out her show.
And I definitely will be picking up more of her books, because during some trying times I've had lately this woman had me laughing my guts out.
And as the saying goes "laughter is the best medicine", .