Changing the Game: The Parents Guide to Raising Happy, High-Performing Athletes and Giving Youth Sports Back to Our Kids by John OSullivan

Changing the Game: The Parents Guide to Raising Happy, High-Performing Athletes and Giving Youth Sports Back to Our Kids Reviews

• 
  Mica

  Really good. This particularly resonated with me since the author's background is right in line with the environment we are in right now - club soccer. I wish every sports parent would read this book. I agreed with all of it but yet it can still be hard not to get sucked in to making emotionally-driven mistakes when you are dealing with your own child. I just really liked the attitude that the book carried and the fact that it was backed up with plenty of research.
• 
  Nathan

  An eye opening look inside the world of youth sports. Good to know I am doing a few things right. Some great ideas about where to go from here.
• 
  Travis

  Winning is ephemeral and success is perishable, but true excellence is resilient and enduring.
  
  This book was recommended to me by my son's new travel baseball coach. This was especially poignant due to why we had a new coach from the previous season. After reading this book, I can see why the new coach stepped up and was immediately upfront with the change in focus and perspective he was bringing to the team.
  
  John O'Sullivan lays out the seven "Cs" of a high performing state of mind:
  Common Sense
  Conditions
  Communication
  Control
  Competence
  Confidence
  Caring
  Each of those gets its own chapter. Some feel more substantive than others.
  
  O'Sullivan
  talked about some of the points at TEDx.. The biggest point he makes is that kids should play youth sports for fun, not to win competitions. We've all seen the parent living out their athletic dreams by pressuring their kid to the point that the kid quits. That parent never stopped to ask what the kid wanted or why they wanted that (that would fall under the Communication and Control items above).
  
  One of the longest sections in Changing the Game lays out the Long-Term Athletic Development (LTAD) framework created by Canadian Sport For Life (CS4L). The framework goes through the different stages a youth athlete should progress. It is not until stage 5 where they "train to compete", which isn't until athletes reach the age of 15 or 16. Up until then the focus is on fun and training to train. This focus on the process rather than the results sets up athletes for lifelong success and happiness.
  
  This particular book is aimed squarely at the parents of young athletes (as opposed to coaches, like O'Sullivan's
  Every Moment Matters). Right upfront he lays out the miniscule odds of any child making it to the professional level of any sport (a concept also discussed in 5-6-7 Dad's
  23 Funnel). The focus, as a parent especially, is on using sports to instill lifelong skills and abilities, not to fill a mantle with trophies. It will serve your child far more to have them gain confidence and competence while understanding control and common sense (along with the responsibility that comes with that) in caring conditions.
  
  I highly recommend Changing the Game to any parent, not even just those with kids involved in sports. John O'Sullivan provides a wealth of advice useful for raising any child.
• 
  Laura

  This is a good book, but it sort of suffers from "preaching to the choir" syndrome. Lots of good, common sense, but ultimately obvious advice about how not to be a dick at your kid's soccer game. The guy who IS a dick at his kid's soccer game is never going to read this.
  
  That said, there are some interesting pieces of information:
  
  - He talks a little about a Canadian initiative for long term athletic development and motivating people to be active for life. It uses scientific research to back up theories about what kinds of activities, and how much competition, kids should be doing at different ages. It's interesting stuff but I wish the book went into more detail - there aren't many actionable specifics.
  - Research shows that a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative feedback is optimal for motivating kids.
  - He covers the mindsets research by Carol Dweck, which shows that people who believe that ability can be changed through effort achieve greater success (in many areas, not just athletics) than those who believe that ability is fixed. Therefore it's always better to praise effort rather than success - it sends the message to work hard.
  - The difference between goals and expectations: goals are something we strive for but may not be achieved. Expectations are always in our control. It's fair to expect your child to always work hard, but not fair to expect them to win the state championship. The first is in their control, the second isn't. It's important to keep this distinction.
  - A lot of athletic drills and activities employ an elimination technique, ensuring that the kids that need the most practice get the least. Employ the "slanty line" theory (the least athletic kids have to jump over the low end of the line, the most athletic over the highest) "to encourage children to compete against their best, and not others."
• 
  Jeri Vick

  If helping your child to get the most out of their youth sports experience is important to you, this book is for you. The author offers parents fantastic advice on how to return the sports experience to where it belongs - with our children. With advice and a perspective that is every bit as relevant to parenting in general, I took a lot from it. Especially powerful were the "Game Changing questions" sections in each chapter. Great starting points for rich discussion.
• 
  Eric Cordina

  A must read for all coaches and parents. Whilst many may think that O'Sullivan is at times stating the obvious, they will then see how they themselves have also at times fallen prey to outside pressures and unrealistic expectations. All parents and coaches need to read this book. Our children deserve it.
• 
  Marco Cardenas

  This book addresses the main challenges and mistakes parents face when children practice any sport at any level and how our efforts and actions do not help to shape our kids in the right direction.
  It is a must for coaches and parents and I will be keep reading from time to time to not forget our real role as parents.
  
• 
  Lesa Andersen

  Excellent Resource
  
  I thoroughly enjoyed how this book approaches giving parenting advice in today’s hyper competitive youth sports environment. I’m looking forward to telling my daughter how much I love watching her play.
• 
  Viktoria Vizin

  It gives essential knowledge how to act as a parent of an athlete. How to help your athlete child, what to avoid, what to encourage him with.
  Great read.
• 
  Justin

  This should be required reading for youth sports coaches and parents.
• 
  J

  A++
  An easy to read master class in sport psychology.
• 
  Lauren

  If you are a sports mom or dad, please read this! This book slapped me across the face over and over. And I consider myself to be one of the more "mild" sports parents out there! Participation in a sport can provide so many valuable life lessons and a lifetime of memories, but parents need to take a serious look at whether or not their actions and words are creating positive experience for their child.
• 
  Dr. Jim Afremow

  "Changing the Game" is the go-to book for understanding and improving youth sports for the kids. A must-read for parents, coaches, athletes, and all folks involved w/ youth sports. Highly recommended!
• 
  Kevin Mcbeath

  Great read. Simple advice. Any parent with a child in any sport should heed John's insight.
• 
  Victoria

  August Parenting by the Book title
• 
  Theresa

  I highly recommend this book for all parents with children participating in any sport. It would be awesome to put more fun back in their game.
• 
  Cathy

  I wish this was required reading for every parent in my child's soccer club.
• 
  Eric F

  Must read for any coach or any parent who has a cold playing sports. Common sense advice!
• 
  Martynas Kersys

  Every parent needs to read if his is kid doing any sport. Great ideas, examples and reminders what sport and fun is. Guide how to become biggest fan of Your child by helping him enjoy the game.
• 
  Beth

  A good reminder for how to keep a perspective and a positive sports environment for your kids.
• 
  Dejan

  Very good! Must read for Sports parents.