Shattered: Six Steps from Betrayal to Recovery by Fay A. Klingler

Shattered: Six Steps from Betrayal to Recovery Reviews

• 
  Susan Knight

  This is my favorite book on divorce.
  When I was going through my divorce, it seemed noboby could tell me a title to read which helped me with what I was going through. I'm so glad I found this one.
  Authors Fay A. Klingler and Bettyanne Bruin answered all of my importnat questions. "Why did this happen to me?" "How could I have let it happen?" "How could I have been so stupid all those years?"
  I thought I was the only one going through my experience during my divorce. In the Acknowledgements, Klinger wrote: I used to think my story was unique, but I've learned that's not so. On the one hand I find it sad because that means, like me, others have been deeply hurt. But on the other hand, I find it exhilarating because it shows we share a resiliency, a desire to make life good in spite of our traumatic experiences."
  I met Klingler at a library lecture and brought my book along for her signature. I showed her that almost every page was highlighted.
  The chapter headings, the six steps are: Awareness Acceptance, Action, Authorization, Accountability and Advancement. At the end of each chapter is a little work space, a plan, to write how we are going to overcome each of the "A" headings.
  Two thoughts in the book gave me "ah-ha" moments. One is on being good. Most of us are good and can't imagine that someone would hurt us and betray us. It is beyond our thinking to imagine it. The other thought is, if one spouse is working hard on the marriage, why should the other spouse, the predator, have to work on it at all?
  While reading this book, I realized I was betrayed and manipulated like this.
  The last chapter heading, Advancement, is the healing step. On page 139 is the statement, "Be patient with yourself. You won't suddenly forgive. You won't suddenly let go. It's more like the process of a flower in bloom."
  Those words gave me hope.
  I heartily endorse this book for those whose divorce involved betrayal, such as adultery, abuse and addiction (including pornography).
• 
  mark mendoza

  An important book, recommended to me by social workers, therapists and lawyers, that really helped me come to terms with my own (ongoing) condition as a victim of domestic abuse.
• 
  Fay Klingler

  I co-authored this book. It was nationally endorsed by many organizations and individuals. Because the information in this book is so vital, I sometimes use it as a giveaway to individuals in need.
• 
  Canda

  I read this as I was entering my divorce process. It helped me see how much of what my ex was doing was disordered. It opened my eyes in many ways, and started my process of healing.