The Unexpected Joy of Being Single by Catherine Gray

The Unexpected Joy of Being Single Reviews

• 
  Shabbeer Hassan

  A book which reads more like an extended, directorial cut of a shoddily written blog post!
  
  There are far better-written books on the joys of solitude, how its distinct from loneliness, why increasingly people are embracing solitude and what do we gain from doing so. For starters, I would recommend these:
  
  Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone
  
  Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After
  
  Walden
  
  My Rating -1/5
  
• 
  Emma

  Great read for those of us “still on the shelf”! The writing style is accessible and fun to read, Catherine Gray is like your best friend throughout the book. It’s positive and upbeat and gives some good advice. I particularly found the chapters on therapy the most interesting and thought provoking. I’m not 100% sure that the chapters work as quite a lot of information seems repeated, but no matter, it’s an optimistic book that is upbeat and fun, but ultimately has an important message. And guess what? There really is no “shelf”! 😊
• 
  Sarah Foster

  This book really is a must read for anybody single and struggling to figure out how to process it. Catherine Gray is the single friend i wish i had, reassuring me that everything is more than ok.
  
  The book encourages you to re-evaluate your assumptions about singledom and find the contented single in yourself.
  
  I am so glad I read this book (on a whim, because of a rail replacement bus), and I will certainly be revisiting it and recommending it to anyone who will listen.
  
  It’s not a self help book, but a collection of statistics and evaluations and personal experiences which are so relatable.
  
  Just read it, ok?
• 
  dogo

  what a terrible waste of time, really hated it all, the narcissism, the newly found "wisdom", oh look at me, I'm 38 and I finally understood these obvious things, now listen how I used to shag people :(
• 
  Tanja

  When I saw this book on the shelf at Foyle's, I immediately groaned. There are few things I hate more than people trying to convince me just how amazing being single is when I'd rather not be in this state. Nevertheless, I decided to buy it as knowledge is power and if someone can convince me that single is amazing, I would be very thankful. Therefore, I shall call this review "The Unexpected Joy of Enjoying This Book." Not only did I enjoy this book, I LOVED it. For someone who doesn't like being told how great single is, that's quite impressive. However, I do think that a more appropriate title for the book would be "The Unexpected Joy of Not Settling." So in the end, it was a lot of what I'd already say I know: in my ripe old age (39), I already know that it is a GAZILLION BAJILLION times to be single than to be with the wrong person and that is indeed why I am single. I see a lot of people in relationships that I don't envy for a second and I know that I am better off.
  
  Back to the book: I bookmarked so many parts that I loved, found wise, made me laugh (there were quite a few parts where I literally laughed out loud). Some things I loved:
  
  "Singles are often treated as Peter Pans, overgrown adolescents, grown-ups in training, but actually they're the ones who should be given Advanced Adulting awards, since solo life is often no cakewalk." Hear, hear!
  
  "The thing stopping you? Keeping you single? Standards. Free will. It's really important to remember that single is a choice; you're not a put-upon victim who can't get a date." Next time someone asks me why I am single, I will be answering with, "Standards! Free will!"
  
  This made me laugh out loud because it's so me: "A few days later, I had a meltdown over the cyclingworldproblem of having to fix my bike chain, because other women have boyfriends to do this..." A lot later in the book this is followed up with: "There is no such thing as 'blue' or 'pink' tasks, only tasks. I recently realized that you really don't require a penis to hang a picture or back up your files, or assemble flatpack furniture." I think I need to frame that and put it on my wall.
  
  So true: "The feeling of failure over being single is created by a thousand paper cuts of the sympathetic 'Oh wells', or the 'You'll meet someone' reassurers, or the 'Have you tried?' fixers." I know those 'Have you tried?' fixers are trying to be helpful, but seriously, do you think I haven't tried internet dating yet? Or anything you're suggesting? I have yet to have anyone ever give me useful advice. So you know what, unless we ask for it, please keep your advice to yourself, smug marrieds!
  
  I also laughed about the part where she talks about a boyfriend who told her about the most beautiful girl he'd ever been with. Makes me wonder whether we dated the same guy! I can't believe there's more than one loser in the world who thinks it's a good idea to tell his girlfriend that some previous girlfriend was the most beautiful girl he'd ever been with. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU MEN?!??!
  
  It was also fun reading a book by a writer who is the exact same age as me; I was loving all the cultural references which I could so relate to.
  
  So even though I may not love my single state, this book did somehow (at least temporarily, in the afterglow of reading it) make me think I do need to embrace it more and remember all the great things about being alone, and it gave me confirmation that doing everything solo can be that much harder so I will therefore graciously accept my Advanced Adulting award and get on with being as badass as I am.
• 
  Kate Henderson

  Really didn’t enjoy this book. I thought it was going to be more fact and statistic based with anecdotes from the author but it was more of a memoir. It was very self indulgent and I just couldn’t get along with it.
• 
  Eve Dangerfield

  I really enjoyed Catherine Gray's writing style in The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, so I read this. I’m not single, but I could be at any given time (as could we all) and there's good stuff in here about how bizarre our fixation on coupling up and reproducing are as well as how destructive these societal pressures can be for those who choose or have remained single.
  Gray’s book isn’t a condemnation of relationships so much as an exploration of her own ‘love addiction’ and the research behind why you should work on being as happy solo as you imagine you would be with someone else. Which is hella valid and worth exploring even if you’re coupled up.
  In a way I think being in a long term relationship from such a young age (what up, The Boy!) has taught me similar lessons. About two years in it became clear old mate was not going to make me miraculously happy every day. He’s great but he’s not some personalised romance soft serve machine, he’s a dude I went to school with. As such, I resumed reading, exercising, working, playing and maintain my friendships as much as I did when I was single and explored sex and romance through writing as well as with him. The result? We’re really happy and though I’d be gutted if something happened to him, I know I would also be fine. It was gratifying to read this open-eyed insight into relationships and I’d recommend.
• 
  Ashley

  I found it hard to relate to this book. It wreaks of “girl boss” feminism, read like a very, very, very long blog post, and focused too much on the author’s personal experiences. I wish she would have interviewed women from various backgrounds (single moms who love it, single bipoc, etc). Not everyone is single because they are working on themselves or waiting for the right man, some of us are experiencing lives that are so rich that it simply does not matter whether we are partnered or not. I wish she would have focused more on being single as an act of freedom and self love rather than a response to a terrible dating life.
• 
  Maryna

  Хороша книжка про психологію - та, що не лишає байдужим. Буває таке - що читав, що радіо слухав.
  
  Цій ставлю 5 зірок, бо не лишила байдужою. Читала, сварилася з авторкою (подумки і вголос), креслила олівцем, писала матюки на полях, кидалася книжкою в стінку, багато думала.
  
  Плюс переклад хороший і дотепний, з українськими реаліями.
  
  Раджу тим, хто в темі)
• 
  Alexandra Ștefăniță

  Again, a book that everyone should read, single or coupled:-)
• 
  Leah

  A good book for those in “heartbreak hotel” I would say or already don’t know the value in being single. I also found the narrator annoying at times but appreciated her passion. Had some good facts & interesting points so will take some things away from it for sure...
• 
  Helen Pinney

  Didn’t finish. It felt far too self-indulgent and not like a piece of writing intended for other people to read.
• 
  Emma Neill

  Lovely little comforting read. Very easy to read for anyone wanting to get back into reading, almost reads like a long blog post with journal entries and things the author has learnt in the books she has read on her journey. It's like a memoir style of book but also with little pieces of information and studies thrown in there to back up a lot of points which makes it all very digestible. Has made me want to read 'Attached' by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller as well as the authors other book 'The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober'.
• 
  Malin

  In a world which sometimes feels obsessed with finding and/or having a partner it was nice to read this book which made me feel seen as a single adult person. Would recommend to anyone, regardless of wether you’re single or paired up. It might change your perspective!
• 
  Bohdan Horbai

  Дуже сподівана виходячи із назви книжка) Розбір, чому жити парами нормально, а наодинці - не дуже. "Попарне" мислення продиктоване соціальними стереотипами, що є новою інформацією. Але новим може стати вичерпний перелік причин, чому це відбувається - дитинство, виховання, книги, товари, професії, а ще соціальні ролі та (не)виправдані очікування. Конформна особистість швидше визнає себе маньяком ніж подумає, що можна просто жити і кайфувати наодинці.
  Одним словом, супервчасна книга, про критичне ставлення до соціальних стереотипів та свободу і цілісність кожного з нас, незважаючи на те, чи є у нас пара.
• 
  Anastasia Baka

  Even though this book is supposed to be for all genders, it is most definitely written with straight, white women in mind, which makes sense because it is written by a straight, white woman. This is not a criticism of the book, just a word of caution that it will not apply to everyone's experience. There is a lot more to being single and dating to what is discussed here.
  
  Nevertheless, as a white woman, I found myself relating to multiple parts of the book and I definitely feel that it was in some way motivating and instructing to read about Catherine's experience.
  
  I challenged myself to read this book in public. My worst fears about how I would be perceived came true. I wrote a blog post about what I learnt from the experience as well as the book itself which you can find here:
  https://medium.com/@anastasiabaka/the...
• 
  Franziska Self Fisken

  Really enjoyed the joyful and positive advice. An honest account of the pros and cons of being a young-ish, single woman in today's society.
  A brilliant, honest, well-written guide to the positive aspects of being single drawing on the author's own life experiences and observations. The author pinpoints the many advantages of being single whilst offering her guidance on navigating the pitfalls. I found her suggested approach to dating particularly relevant and helpful.
• 
  Dreadymorticia

  Loved it! Been single for 8 years now and I’ve dealt with a few of my gremlins but I still struggle with a bunch and this book was a gem. I read very slowly, taking my time, savoring bits. I highly recommend.
• 
  Aimee

  Empowering book every single person must read!
• 
  Abi Jones

  So, I originally didn’t want to read this book because I protested to my friend that I AM already happy single but as soon as she mentioned that it spoke about love addiction, I was tempted and I’m now very glad I did read it. It’s an easy, quick read with Gray’s chatty, excitable tone really coming through and although some chapters were a little immature (the authors own words) and not my sense of humour, I still really enjoyed and would recommend the book.Some mentions of infidelity and paranoia within relationships which wasn’t relatable for myself. Similarly to when reading The Unexpected Joy of the Ordinary, I zoned out on the final few chapters. Most importantly, this book gave me the tough yet comforting reality that the happily ever after I’ve always thought I’d get is not the only happily ever after option. The chances of getting married and staying happily married are so slim like literally the stats back that up.
• 
  Kat

  ...our focus should be reaching the glass ceiling, rather than the glass slipper.

  
  Coming out of a toxic relationship and hating being alone I have now been very happily single for over a year now and this book explains the joys of being single so well. society has consciously or unconsciously programmed our brains to think that marriage and starting a family is the ultimate goal of life, but no! it's 2020 and we should be able to do and live as we please. what i have taken from this book is that i have bloody high standards and boundaries that should never be broken, it will take a very very amazing human to convince me of the idea of marriage, if this person does not come into my life then i will happily and proudly remain single!
  
  4/5
• 
  Nadia

  Набагато краще ніж «Купи собі той довбаний букет», бо підкреслено великою кількістю корисної інформації, де самотність розглядається з історичної і культурної сторони.
  
  Щось типу “get your sh*t together”, але звісно щоб поринути в історію Кетрін, не обов’язково бути за 30 чи бути самотньою, чи алкозалежною, бо історія може змусити задуматись над помилками, я��і ти робиш зараз у стосунках з людьми чи робила у минулому.
• 
  Rosie Nicholson

  This is the second book I’ve read by Catherine Gray and I adore her upbeat, entertaining writing style. I’m already happy with my single status but this book has helped strengthen my positive mindset, made me rethink how I want to navigate dating in future and has shown “happily ever after” doesn’t mean getting married, it means being happy! Alongside Catherine’s personal stories and experiences, there’s plenty of stats and information too, with the book feeling really well researched.
• 
  Suzanne Griffin

  A witty take on why its okay to be single. If there is one thing you should take from this book its that being single is not something to be ashamed of and it's okay to be 'picky'. You also get the whole bed !
  
• 
  Nałogowa Czytaczka Natalia

  Zaskakująco dobra książka, napisana lekkim, humorystycznym językiem. Bardzo polecam, nie tylko singlom 😉
• 
  Aaliyah Burns

  One of the best autobiographical books I’ve read, so honest and raw. Really provided some great advice for any single or non single about happiness in life. Would definitely recommend to a girlfriend.
• 
  Frédérique Van Tilborg

  Vooral het begin van het boek focuste zich enorm veel op mensen die constant in een relatie (willen) zitten vanwege het comfort. Het niet alleen kúnnen zijn. En op dertig+'ers. Daar kon ik mijzelf niet in herkennen en was dus lastiger spiegelen. Het laatste deel van het boek focust zich veel op de positieve kanten van single zijn en daaruit blijkt dat single (en NIET daten) eigenlijk minstens net zo comfortabel is als in een stabiele relatie zitten. Wel wat nuttige tips uitgehaald. En daarom ook prima boek. Mocht je een steuntje willen in je single bestaan, prima goed. Ikzelf ben erachter dat ik eigenlijk sowieso prima content was (en ben) met mijn single bestaan. Schrijver vind ik grappig.