Scan Behind The Falls Chronicled By Brenda Zalegowski Readable In Audio Books

is starting public high school for the first, after being homeschooled, Making friends and dating for the first time, These would be hard for any teenager, but Noah has generalized anxiety disorder, He feels everything, and over analyzes it all, Will he be able to reach out for help when he needs it, or will his anxiety become too much to handle

I loved this book! Noah is a complex character, and my heart felt everything he was feeling.
In the end, I wanted to give him a hug! The story is written from the perspective of a teen named Noah and includes subtext to every single action he does.
It's a great story about struggling to hide one's shameful characteristics and how fear of being rejected for being yourself can be crippling, It may seem long but it's a pretty fast read for its size, I really enjoyed this book, it dealt with severe anxiety and panic disorders in a very realistic way, The ending just wasn't for me, Sixteen year old Noah Blakely knows that his life is about to change, After all he is moving to a new town, He will be starting public school as a senior after years of homeschooling, After years of suffering from panic and anxiety disorders, all Noah wants is a chance to prove to his parents and doctor that he is normal.


Right from the very first day, Noah is surprised and pleased how well things are working in his new life, He meets Holden Maxwell and they soon becomes best friends, His parents are trusting him with more freedom and responsibility, He is successful in school, For the first time in his life, Noah feels normal,

However, no senior year is without pressure and difficulties, Noah soon finds his new life and responsibilities bring on new pressures hes never had to deal with, He is faced with choices he never imagined,

In order to gain acceptance from his new friends Noah must first find a way to accept himself, That might be the hardest lesson of all,

This is Brenda Zalegowskis first published novel,.

pages. You might ask yourself if you want to read a book that'spages, YES YOU DO! When I noticed the page count, I thought "How is

the author going to engage me for that long" She did! I was engrossed in Noah's story from page one.
When I had to put the book down I couldn't wait to come back to it, I mentally cheered Noah through the entire book, . . hoping and wishing for the best for him, I wanted to hug him and make him better, Every character is well written and believable,

Why.The ending. Did I like it Honestly, no! Personally, I hate open endings, I want the author to finish the story for me, I don't like having to guess/assume/write my own ending for a book, There were a couple of questions I really wanted the answers too and I didn't get them, I guessed what might happen at the end but I would have liked a little closure for the rest of the characters stories,

Overall, this is a fantastic debut from a new author, I'll look forward to new works from Ms, Zalegowski. Wow, intense! I couldn't stop reading, Bravo Brenda Zalegowski!!! This is one of my top fav books of all time, I can relate to Noah in a big way, Bravo Brenda Zalegowski on your first novel!plus from me! I just finished this wonderful book after a weekend marathon of practically nonstop, can't stop, don't want to put this book down reading.
This was a heartwarming, heart wrenching tale of teenaged life, love, and the hope of acceptance with characters that become a part of you as you are reading.
I honestly didn't want the story to end, When it did, I was glad that I was able to imagine two different scenarios in my mind for dear Noah, Highly recommend! I really enjoyed this book, yes at some points it seemed long, almost too much "detail" but without it you might have lost some of why Noah does what he does, it's ALL about his thoughts and emotions.
I don't get a lot of uninterrupted reading time and I found it hard at times to put this book down without trying to find a good stopping point I thoroughly enjoyed it and all the characters were well written.
Have to say I can't wait for a sequel! What a great book! Some have said it is longwinded, I was totally engrossed, from the first page to the last, I became invested in Noah, Max, their friends and their families, I still feel they are a part of me, Hated the ending, yet probably the best ending for this particular story, Such a fantastic first effort for this new author, I can't wait to read more from her,
Do yourself a favor and READ THIS BOOK! Fuck that ending!

EDIT: After some sleep and reflection I can now properly review this.
When I first started this book, I didn't like it, it was cliche and mediocrly written, but I stuck it out, I admit I got invested in the plot and the characters despite the unrealistic dialogue and common pitfalls because maybe I thought this could potentially become a goto book for anyone struggling with coming out, depression, anxiety, suicide, etc.
but it approached every single topic in a negative way through Noah who at his core is just a terrible person, the ending was abrupt, poorly handled, and so many threads were left untied that the only way this book could be salvageable for me is if there's a sequel.
yes, I'll read the sequel, goddammit! This book starts out with Noah in a car traveling halfway across the country with his parents to go live in his grandmother's house.
Because I kinda know this author and because I did not ask what this book was about remember I try not to know anything about the book I am about to read.
I half way expected old granny to be kept in the shed in the back garden feeding on live chickens, Yes . a zombie book wouldn't have surprised me at all, . however, once Noah gets to school and sees all the pretty people in the lunch room, I thought I might be wrong and it would have been some posh vampires that were feeding on grandma.


However, I couldn't have been farther from the truth,

Although . . this book is full of reallife monsters,

I must admit, at times I did feel that the author was long winded, That the stuff going on inside Noah's mind was just so bogged down with details, however, after reading it . well I have to wonder, If I felt overwhelmed at times and over sensitized, well just imagine how Noah felt,

This book brings more than a few very important issues to light, and it's a hard read, not because it's hard to understand, it's just a tough subject, and the ripples this book leaves you with, well they are far reaching, . . it's blatantly obvious after reading a book like this that we are all so often look at just the one person in life, We often isolate them in our minds and we neglect to see the ripple effects that issues cause with not just one person, but all of those around them.


If someone has cancer, or is killed in an accident, or hurts another person . . well that doesn't just effect them, Mrs. Z does an outstanding job displaying this throughout the entire novel ALLPAGES OF IT!!!

Now there's just no way for me to continue this review without providing spoilers.
so I am asking you now, . . if you haven't read this book, please stop reading now and go try to find a copy, This book isn't a subject matter I would ever imagine myself reading, let alone giving top ratings to, I almost hesitated to givebecause I almost feel guilty, I don't want anyone to think I did so because I know the author, I do so because this novel deserves it, although as I said, I felt it was too many words at sometimes, however the subject matter and the way it was handled, the way I felt at the end, the way I stayed up late and woke early to finish it, well, I would be dishonest if I gave it anything less,

But again . spoilers now! so if you haven't read it, piss off and go do so, please don't let my need to voice all of my feelings ruin this great book for you!!!

First the ending, . uffda . again . ripples . this book is full of them, innit I realise some people will hate the ending, fuck it . . I hate the ending . . but I would have hated an ending that wrapped it all up and created a stopping point even more, . again . . ripples! Key word here . . RIPPLES . . I just can't stop thinking about all the ripples that closing scene is going to make in the hours after the reader finishes,

How can you not love a book that the characters feel so real that you finish the last page and you still are concerned for ALL of those involved.
How can you not love a book where you physically hurt for what they have to go through

Another thing I want to point out to anyone that has read the book.
I am sure many think of the father behind the closed door at the end, and they are disappointed perhaps, Me I knowthat he has closed that door because he is disappointed in himself, that he is blaming himself for not being there as he thinks he should have been, even though I knowthat Noah feels it is shut because of his father's disappointment in Noah, .

Again, this whole book, just wow . it's so complex and the more you think about it, well the more confused you become,

Mental illness . sexual identity . these are such tough issues, why do we feel such a need to label everything in life Perhaps not the labels themselves, but the stigma that goes with them, . . I've always been a strong proponent of letting people live their lives as they see the need to, I try very hard to not pass judgement,

This novel points out that not only is it very important to not put stigmas on labels, but it's also now blatantly obvious that the stigma we put on our own labels used to define us, well they can be the most cutting of all, . I've always tried to remember that we never know what people are going through in their daily lives, . . so we should never judge, . this novel pushes me belief system even further, I now realise that it's not just what's going on in their lives, . . it's also sometimes more important about what is going on in their heads, and those are things that sometimes we are never made aware of,

At times this novel is so tough to read, the implications of what mental illness does to a person, well when you pile it on top of the worries of the mental illness, . . and how you will be perceived by others, well at some point you have to stop and ask, which is which . which one does the most damage, . . and which one causes which, are they all interchangeable Can you have one without the other If one did not exist would the other cease as well

The second major issue of the novel.
sexual identification . . that is all so . well . . it does come down to labels here, and this is the thing I struggle with the most, I always have . but now it makes me angry, it seems that more society opens up, the more it shuts down, if Noah wants to kiss boys or girls, . . why should he have to announce it Why should it matter I realise that identity is very important to teenagers, . . however . I really wish society would change how we define ourselves, it's tough I know . but I just wish in my heart that Noah had gave a few less fucks how people defined him, the only opinions that should guide and define us are those of people who truly love and know us, but most importantly our own . we should all be allowed to be happy with whom we are,

again ripples . the beautiful person that Noah is, it's so easy to see and define the ripples that brings to others around him, even if he is, sadly, unable to see those ripples himself, however, the lack of Noah sharing what's really going on in his life Those ripples They are far more outreaching and long lasting then he will ever realise.


Those ripples will be residing in me for a very long time to come, x.