Enjoy For Free Parent Yourself Again: Love Yourself The Way You Have Always Wanted To Be Loved Written And Illustrated By Yong Kang Chan In EReader Version

book is awesome. It helped me to dig deeper into my own mental health and how to get better at supporting myself,

One thing were i cant agree with the book is propably the positivity and the feeling of completly forgiving your parents, As somebody who was abused, for me there is a line where i cant fully forgive, Perhaps thats sth to work on, on the other hand i would have liked to read more about boundaries and walking away as selfcare.
Unsure if thats sth i could have gotten here, its propably nothing thats 'normal' in the Asian culture I reccomended this book to those starting their self love/ mental health journey.


This book doesn't have all the answers but it can help get you started, I learned a lot about myself reading this book and I experienced a type of therapy formonths prior to reading this,

Although I wasn't at the beginning of my journey at the time I read this I felt like it still had an impact.
i really liked the part on the internal dialogue between your Inner Child and Inner Parent, until now, i havn't really got the idea of what it means to selfsooth, i skimmed through the parts on forgiving your parents and so as not applicable, but still, i find this book useful, The most memorable sections were in chapterandwhere the authors shares his insights on blame, resentment, forgiveness and acceptance which makes it worth sitting through the previous ones.
I'm taking away some interesting thoughts on the inner parent protecting their ego identity versus genuinely addressing the needs of the inner child, Ceasing to seek external validation and instead prioritizing self approval in our adulthood by letting go of our ego will make us more authentic.
Some lessons from the author regarding our relationship with our parents can be applied likewise to friendships and romantic relationships, Simplicity itself an easy read,
This is what I call a laypersons read, Very accessible and jargon free written from a perspective of an insightful individual who shares his nuggets of wisdom synthesised from spiritual writings, a dash of attachment theory, a sprinkling of TA, and other rather useful things.
He read a fair few books so that you dont have to, I say its not a bad book for someone just beginning to get to grips with their childhood issues, While it might offer little to a trainee practitioner it may be a valuable resource for those who contemplate entering therapy to address their concerns.
The author acknowledges this isn't a self help book but just one person writing about their experiences and hoping that the reader would find some sort of comfort in someone else going through the same thing.


This book helped me understand why I often put others needs before myself even it was painful, and it even helped me with understanding why I stayed in a difficult past relationship so long and made so many excuses to stay.
It helped me understand why I desperately seeked approval and praise at work even for menial tasks,

It showed me how upbringing can have an impact on your life forever if you let it even when you no longer live with your family.
But it also shows you how to forgive and reconcile with your 'inner child' and to take the first step to heal low self esteem.
Yong Kang Chan has a series of books and I'll definitely be reading those too! I disagreed with some of his statements and fundamentally found it difficult and unintuitive to relate to his abstraction and binary split of the inner childself and inner parentself.


Given the author opens with a disclaimer that this is not a scientifically researched, evidencebased professional book, I wish there were more anecdotes from his own perspective and experiences.
The stories were the best part, In fact, I wish this was just a personal memoir tracing how his relationship with his parents and himself has evolved over his life.
I came to resent being told "You feel" or "You might think, " BRUH you don't know what I'm thinking or feeling, I would've been less offended if it was written solely in first or third person POV, I really liked this book! Although I feel like most of the stuff was pretty practical amp common sense but I think thats because I have read a few books on these particular topics/themes therefore I would say its really ideal for someone starting of their journey of self growth, healing, love amp acceptance.
I liked the relating of our inner parent amp inner child to how we live our life now which helped me do a lot of self reflection.
I have already recommended this book to several friends, This is an interesting approach to healing from those places your parents wounded, either unintentionally or intentionally, Yong Kang Chan writes in a way that is easy to read and very relatable, The premise of the book is learning to be your own parent so you may give yourself what your parents did not and heal from the areas wounded from the lack you perceived.
Easy to read. No new idea but nicely presented and can still shed some lights, I really, really tried to like this book since it has so manyandreviews, especially on Amazon I read in a Kindle,
Plus, the author seems like a nice person whos been going through a lot with his parents,
So Im guessing that maybe he wrote the book mostly for himself, as a part of his own therapy while trying to deal with his parents In which case it wouldve made more sense to write this as a memoir and not as an advise book for the readers and also write it from a first person point of view and not from a second person point of view since I person all couldnt relate with his sayings most of the time I dont know.

I also dont really see the point in writing a book on such a complex subject emotional neglect, growing up with narcissistic parents etc if you are not an expert on the subject
I mean there are great self help books out there written by psychologists and doctors, so why would you listen to a book without any scientific evidence, as the author himself says at the beginning

Again, the author sounds like a nice person whos been through a lot because of his parents and I really hope he went to therapy and got professional help
As for the book, I simply couldnt relate managed to force myself to go half way but decided to abandon reading it atcause its just not for me.


I personally prefer sciencebased books like those written by Lindsay C Gibson PsyD, Jonice Webb Phd, Gabor Maté MD etc, Good reading

Good and very informative, However it's quite vague when it comes to the strategies and how to put them in practice in a more effective manner, I was originally thinking Id give this book three, Most of it is stuff Id heard before, The author did say hes not a professional and this book is mostly based on his experiences, So its very much a laymens self help book, I think it would be very helpful for people who are just beginning the journey of dealing with childhood hurt, What made me give the book four instead of three was reading chapter eight about blame, That chapter hit me hard in a good way and included some thoughts that were new to me, So if you want deep psycho analysis this is not your book, But it is an easy read that can certainly be helpful, Grateful for this book, utterly therapeutic, I wish it had a

stepwise guide to learning how to parent yourself again, Overall, It was an easy read and helped me unearth and understand very many things about the parentchild relationships, "Parent Yourself Again: Love Yourself the Way You Have Always Wanted to be Loved" by Yong Kang Chanseemed promising but it was not objective enough to be the indisposable tool I was expecting.


One big grievance I have with this book occurred in Chapter"The Responsibilities of your Inner Parent", Here we are given a situation from Chan's personal experience during a seminar at an entrepeneur program in Bali, The Chef makes a bold and problematic statement when they say that Mum's know best, especially when it comes to feeding their children, This is an example of lazy teaching because it is not always true in fact I would go so far as to say it is a waste of breath employed as a time filler on the Chef's behalf.

I was impressed to read that Chan confronted that by saying that his Mum buys junkfood for them all the time because this shows how lazy the Chef had been.

I was angered by the Chef's retort, which showed a blatant disregard for the growth of her student and how egotistical she was, but then I found myself outraged by Chan's submissive, selfdeflating attitude.

YOU WERE RIGHT CHAN, YOU WERE RIGHT, AND THE CHEF, WHOEVER SHE WAS, DESERVED TO BE TOLD THAT AND TO BE ARGUED WITH FURTHER.


It is this that has led me to believe that this book is not hugely helpful, I think it has been written too much from a personal point of view and not from an educated, obective one, to have the use that I was hoping for.
Also the book should have been proofread because there are many grammatical errors,

However I did read the book from cover to cover and I enjoyed most of what I read, Hopefully, given time and experience, Yong Kang Chan can blossom as a writer and a thinker, Its two main problems were a too personal, and b not proofed properly, .