Book Bound Society Read
trigger warnings: suicide, selfharm, depression
I am not a darling.
I am a girl ready to explode into nothing,
Hold Still is Nina LaCour's debut novel, a heartbreaking youngadult contemporary that follows Caitlin Madison's life over the course of a year following the suicide of her best friend, Ingrid.
Ten years after the initial release of this novel, a beautiful new paperback edition of this novel has been released with a moving author's note from LaCour, and edition so externally beautiful that it almost ties with the internal beauty of this heartbreaking novel that is also full of hope.
LaCour does not shy away from exploring the realities of Ingrid's depression her pain, her sadness, her hurt both internal and external.
Yet she also does not shy away from exploring Caitlin's journey a journey of grief and loss and guilt, but also of joy and strength and hope.
Somehow, the author expertly manages to stay sensitive to the girl who was in so much pain she felt she had to kill herself, but also to the girl who lost her best friend and cannot possibly understand why.
the sun stopped shining for me is all, . . i am sad. i am sad all the time and the sadness is so heavy that i can't get away from it, not ever.
The words that came from Ingrid herself were so powerful and so moving, they captured the experience of existing in deep depression in a way that can only be described as perfect, despite the heartbreaking theme they deal with.
Yet LaCour also develops Caitlin's journey and allows the reader to watch Caitlin grow from a girl who exists in a field of grief and loss to a girl who instills hope in the people around her.
LaCour writes a heartbreakingly beautiful and I say beautiful not to romanticize the issue, but to acknowledge how the author wove hope and joy into a story that dealt with such intense subject matter and honest portrayal of a subject far too often ignored in society.
I was in high school and then I grew up and I wrote this novel, . . Though it's about a tragedy, hope and resilience are its heart, May they beat for you, loud and clear, and help you to understand that as painful as life can be, staying with us is worth it.So I finished "Hold Still" by Nina LaCour,
Rating:/
This book basically follows two friends ie Caitlin and Ingrid, who are best friends for a long time.
They both have enjoyed their life to the fullest and had many memories,
But Ingrid was keeping something from Caitlin due to which she ended up committing suicide,
The story follows Caitlin, how she dealt with her best friends death, .
It was really emotional and I literally had tears in my eyes,
It was kind of slow for me but I enjoyed it, I love the cover! pets book Isn't it just gorgeous
I think I had such a good feeling about this book for such a long period of time, that I was bound to be disappointed in some way or the other.
Don't worry, though. It had some very redeemable qualities,
The premise.
Caitlin's best friend, Ingrid, committed suicide, The thing is, the two were pretty much inseparable, Both were exceptional at photography, and it was this talent of theirs which I enjoyed being explored in the novel, Their passion towards taking on something they so loved, the spur of the moment pictures they often took, was just so wonderful and inspiring to me.
They didn't go out of their way to make friends, Everyone knew to leave them alone, But now that Ingrid is no longer with her, apart from grieving, she is left with this confusing shame and guilt, with parents she does not want to let in, with a teacher who was kind to them both all year around but now pretends she does not exist.
That's a whole lot to take on for a teen, If I'm to talk about Caitlin herself Well, she's not very likeable, I suppose, She's often rude and insensitive, but there's a lot of character growth towards the end, so I couldn't hold a grudge, Especially after all that she's been through,
There is the skaterboy from her school, though, Taylor. He's sweet, and curious. He gives her space, but is always there to let her know that he's more than willing to be there for her when she's ready to let him in.
He comes across as kind, patient and understanding, He is everything she needs now and in the near future, But with all that's going on, is that even possible
The writing is quite simple, and the characters aren't the most developed out there.
But I do think the book gives you enough to at least keep you intrigued by a few of them, Ms Delani, Ingrid, Dylan amp Henry! were those characters for me,
HOLD STILL had some definite highlights for me, And those would be the lovely illustrations and the diary entries, When you read those entries, it's actually creepy how real Ingrid seems to you, How clear her voice rings through your ears, And what's so damn sad about her is the
sheer knowledge of knowing that she is dead, Of knowing how sad and lost she is, It's hard not to tear up, Especially her last entry, I just chocked up, Yes, I wasn't loving it during the first half, but gradually I saw clear improvement during the second, The emotional reaction I had to the book make me tear up and you've made an impression already and the lastpages or so, that were just so fantastic, were enough to add on that extra star and make up for the shaky beginning.
And hey, am I the only one who is curious about Henry Not many seem to mention him, but I doubt he was acting so shifty throughout the book without reason.
Maybe I'm just over analysing here and there is no reason for his behavior, but he just seems so sad, Although it's only until a certain moment that it becomes clear that there's more to him, It wasn't until she sat with him on that fountain, that a random thought occurred, . and yes this might be absurd
Like I said, I could be completely off the mark there,
What Caitlin does at the end I just could not do it, I don't know how she has it in her, but gosh I would cling on to it with all my might and just hold on to it for years to come.
But that's me, way too sentimental for my own good
Dear Jayson,
Why don't you love me yet
“The sun stopped shining for me is all.
The whole story is: I am sad, I am sad all the time and the sadness is so heavy that I can't get away from it, Not ever. lt From Ingrid's Diary,
Favourite Quotes
And maybe most of all I shouldnt have turned away from all of the cuts and burns and bruises she gave herself..
I should have noticed all of them because they were a part of her, She deserved for someone to see her as clearly as they could, To make that effort to understand, My best friend is dead, and I could have saved her, Its so wrong, so completely and painfully wrong, that I walked through my front door tonight smiling,
I hold it carefully, this artifact of myself, I need a few more minutes to let all of this sink in,
Ms. Delani rests her hand on my shoulder, “They bring her back a little bit,” she says, “I wish they could bring her back completely, ” I want to squeeze my eyes shut but I cant, not with the door opening, Before everyone streams in, she says, “They bring you back a little bit, too,
I want to tell her that she failed me, too, Im thinking about the first day of schoolI was sure that she would make things better, that she would treat me as she used to.
I say, “I needed you, too, ” My face burns.
“Yes,” she says. “I know. Im so sorry.
And I want to tell you about everything but I can't because I couldn't stand for you to have that look on your face all the time.
I just need you to look at me and think that I'm normal, I just really need that from you,