Access It Happens All The Time Depicted By Amy Hatvany Shown In Hardcover
again, Amy Hatvany has given her readers a book that explores a topic that is often in the news date rape and consent.
It was a tough book to read and readers are able to see the story line through the eyes of Amber and Tyler as they work to understand what happened and how they are going to live the rest of their lives.
Amber and Tyler met when they wereand became best friends, Amber always felt a platonic friendship with Ty but he was in love with her, She became engaged while in college but when she was home after graduation, she spent considerable time with Ty and when she kissed him at a party after an evening of heavy drinking by both, things spiraled out of control.
This is the story of the emotion and pain caused by that one night, It's told in alternating chapters from each character's point of view so the reader is aware of how it is affecting both of them.
It was a tough book to read but it needs to be read and discussed with everyone's daughters AND sons.
If you have a teenager or college student, I beg you to have them read this book and then discuss it with them.
At this age, they feel invincible and they need to understand how one night can totally change their plans for the future.
I received an advance copy of this book to review honestly, Theres no doubt, regardless of your feelings for the topic at hand or the characters themselves, this is a thoughtprovoking read at its core.
sitelinkAmy Hatvany takes a bold step and strives to open a muchneeded conversation with a story told not only from the perspective of a woman who gets raped, but from her rapist.
Powerful in its prose, bringing light to the controversial topic of consent and victim blaming, its unwavering in its delivery.
As a woman and a reader, I was a twisted knot of emotions, reflection and rivaling thoughts, How is it that situations like this one continue to happen, all around us, with no consequences
Diminished selfworth, mental health issues and upbringing collide in a perfect storm of bad choicesa night that ends with a rape.
Its easy to fall into the victim blaming trap, to questionwhy was she acting that way why would she put herself in that situation what about her fiancé why didnt she fight harderbut, at the end of the day, is any of that an excuse for what Tyler did Do any of those things negate the fact that Amber said no or told him to stop in the heat of the moment Of course not.
Not in the slightest.
What compounds Ambers situation is the reality that the man who mars her outlook on life is none other than her best friend, Tyler.
This is where things get a little tricky for me, Having read the synopsis, I knew exactly what I was in for and who was responsible, It might not be fair to say that alone tainted Tyler in my eyes, but its true, My headspace was so clouded with what was to come, there was no way I could make it through the chapters of Amber and Tyler as “bestfriends” and not feel an underlying sense of disgust or hone in on his flaws.
Forget trying to find something redeeming about him or trying to understand their connection because, . . I couldnt. I dont know if it was that blatant disregard I had for Tyler from the start or the matteroffact way the memories of him and Amber together were written, but I struggled to feel their friendship on a deeper level.
There wasnt enough emotion behind their shared scenes, for me, Not that that made what happened any easier to stomach,
One of the most difficult, but significant, things about this story is seeing the world through the eyes of a rapist.
Not many authors have approached the topic from this side of the situation and I can understand why.
Do you hit the reader over the head with the obvious conclusion, hes a total dirtbag, or even worse, try to garner sympathy for a rapist In my opinion, Ms.
Hatvany struck a happy medium, For me, watching Tyler justify his actions and struggle with his delusional thoughts surrounding Amber made my skin crawl, but it was also eyeopening, on some level.
It was a reality check of sorts a reminder that there are actual men walking around with this mindset and his father's twisted view of women.
After everything, Im sad to say, Im not sure Tyler understood that what he did was wrong and more importantly why.
The ending is a bit dramatic, toeing the line of too happy territory, and punctuated by a glaringly hypocritical situation.
Are Tylers actions a valid excuse for Ambers Why would one person tell the truth and not the other Those are only two of the hundreds of questions that raced through my mind during this emotionally laden journey.
My decision to pick up a book is often influenced by several things, This time around, it was a heartfelt review written by my friend, Chelsea, If you havent had the chance to read her moving review, I urge you to check it out gtsitelinkhere.
I applaud Chelsea and Amy Hatvany be sure to check out her letter to the reader for having the strength to share their experiences in the hopes that their words might help someone else and bring awareness to such a controversial issue.
Thank you to Atria and NetGalley for a copy in exchange for an honest review.
Amy Hatvany's latest book needs to be read by everyone as it deals with a topic that wedon't talk about andplace the blame on the wrong person the victim.
the woman. Tyler and Amber are childhood best friends, but Tyler has romantic feelings for Amber, One night after they have both been drinking, Tyler and Amber's flirtation goes too far and Amber is raped by her best friend.
Both of their lives are changed drastically,
While I've always known that a rapist is not the masked man but someone we generally know, Hatvany forces us to look at how we are raising our boys and the messages we are telling them.
Those messages of entitlement and "she deserved it" are truly why the system is stacked against women, Look at the Stanford rapist if you don't believe me,
We need to look at and teach what consent really means, That NO means NO. And that no matter what a woman is in charge of what happens to her body, Teach your sons and daughters,
Hatvany should be applauded for tackling this issue head on, Change the world and read this book, Thank you Atria Books for sending me an ARC!
This book is very heavy, and brutally honest.
This book follows a pair of best friends named Amber and Tyler, Tyler has been in love with Amber since they were thirteen years old, but they've only ever been best friends, and Amber is engaged to this guy named Daniel.
Then one drunken night, Tyler rapes Amber, and her whole world is shattered into a million pieces,
This book has a lot to say about our society and rape culture and the way we tend to blame the victim.
It's very eyeopening and powerful to read from the perspective of a rape victim, and it's so fucking awful that her best friend someone she trusts more than anyone is the one raping her in this book.
It's brutally honest and terribly sad though, because this happens so often in our world, unfortunately, I loved the message this sends about speaking up when something like this happens to you, and it shows in a very real and honest way the negative lasting impressions something like this will have on your life forever.
I cried more than once, mostly because it was written so graphically and it was hard for my heart to handle it.
Warning: this book not only has rape but the main character also deals with a eating disorder.
The writing itself in this book is really good, it's the first book I've ever read form this author, but it certainly won't be my last.
The only negative thing I have to say about the writing style is that sometimes in the beginning, there are flashbacks of Amber and Tyler's childhood sprinkled throughout the narrative, but at times the timeline was confusing because it jumped back and forth between flashbacks and real time.
Also, it's told from Amber and Tyler's POV's but they both have very similar voices and I found it hard to tell the difference between them two.
I enjoyed reading about Tyler's job as a paramedic, I find that job fascinating so I enjoyed getting to read about it in this book.
Also, his coworker and paramedic partner Mason is possibly my favorite character in the book, Tyler's Father, however, is easily my least favorite character in the book and he pissed me off so much.
He is exactly what is wrong with the world,
Also, I just wanted to mention that I think it's epic that this book takes place in Bellingham, Washington because that is where I live which is so cool.
I've never read a book that takes place in the city I love in before and I thought it was epic how there were so many places and streets mentioned in this book that I go to and drove on every single day! Really cool.
I also know this author graduated form Western Washington University, which is where I will be transferring to this Fall, so that is also very cool.
Overall, this story is very powerful, and it made me emotional at times with how sad this situation is.
I think I mostly cried thinking of how real and nonfiction this book really is, This happens all the time in our society and it's fucking terrible, .