Procure To Raise A Boy: Classrooms, Locker Rooms, Bedrooms, And The Hidden Struggles Of American Boyhood Articulated By Emma Brown Displayed In Manuscript

covers the same ground as Peggy Orenstein did in Boys amp Sex, but does so in a shallower, less compelling way, There's some good information here, but also a lot of repetition and a lot of skimmable anecdotes,

Also, she inserts herself into the reporting repeatedly as a mother of a son, She is, but her son also is, So, she doesn't have any real information about the effectiveness of what she's doing, I get that it was a driving force for her reporting, but it doesn't add anything compelling to the narrative, TLDR good book, recommended.

My youngest,yo, son a staff member at the local library brought this home for me, I don't know yet what he thinks I'll get out of it, Maybe a better understanding of how hard it's been for him to grow up to be a good person in this society

See this review for probably the best understanding of what you might get out of it:
sitelink goodreads. com/review/show

So, it turns out my son wants me to look at the book because he scanned it, read some of what the author has said online, and just thinks she's very sensible.
He's going to try to make time to read more of the book, I read prologue, epilogue, and some bits in the middle, and am impressed enough to encourage him, and you, to give this a shot,

Brown took this on to educate herself as she was beginning to raise her son, She admits there are other books on the subject of the harmfulness of the expectations we have for boys, and says that she always thought of herself as enlightened.
But her research revealed to her that there's more to be said, and she is here trying to say it, Backmatter reveals the extent of that research,

One of the good news bits I loved was learning of Mattel's Creatable World dolls, Not perfect, but a huge step in the right direction towards inclusiveness and respect for children who don't fit stereotypes,

Anecdotes from her experience being a new mom her daughter is three years older than her son help a reader like her privileged, white, married get perspective on the issues that confront all boys, whether in her son's cohort or in, for example, Clarence Thomas's.
One thing that struck me is that she had been raising her daughter to say the mantra "I am strong and fearless, " After doing some research, she realized that this was too extreme, and that all children, all people, can be afraid sometimes, A teen boy says the woman who raised him gave him the mantra "I am both strong and gentle" and this is now what Brown is telling both her kids.
I told my son this, and he really likes it, too,

So much good stuff here, Lots about sexual violence and rape and porn though I didn't have the stomach for much of that, I did read most of the chapter on what I call the 'braid of nurture and nature, ' I clearly did good, keeping my kids away from TV and the boys vs, girls toy aisles but even that is not quite enough, Be sure to hug your boys as well as your girls, for example, . . I hugged mine through their flareups to help them catch hold of themselves by having them breathe with me until they could articulate what was so upsetting.


Keep all the options open for all of the children, . . only by drawing on all of our perspectives and talents will we ever become truly civilized and able to enjoy our lives on this beautiful world.


Highly recommended to parents and other educators, and to activists and policy makers, I raised two sons and a daughter, When they were adolescents I would broach the topics of sexuality and they'd say "I know, " I would talk at them and they would hear me, I left books in their rooms, "It's Perfectly Normal" covered most information I wanted them to know and I saw they were reading it, When my daughter was in late high school I took her to Planned Parenthood when she indicated she wanted to go, I always left the door open for discussion, I put condoms I got from a Spring Break fair at the local University in the boy's underwear drawer, explaining I'd read boy's often did not use them early due to embarrassment and lack of access.
I talked about dignity, consent, reputations, etc, I don't relate to the author because her approach seems invasive and overdone to me, I told the children about inappropriate touching and if anyone ever said to not tell your parents that means tell us right away, We all have our methods, I found the information regarding sports and fraternities and male play interesting as well as how porn has affected young people and how they approach first sexual encounters.
I let my husband deal a lot with the sons because that seemed more comfortable to them, I thought this book would be How To Raise A Boy, but its more like To Raise A Boy Is Fraught, which, uh, I know: thats why I wanted a book to help me.
And I dont blame myself for making an incorrect assumption about the content: “how will I raise my son to be different” is the second sentence of the publisherprovided summary.


Mostly this book details all the way society, government, and schools are failing boys, often with extremely specific examples, many of graphic sexual abuse often as hazing.
There was a lot of repetition along these, While there is some discussion of possibilities for structural change, its mostly focused on programs for boys in high school and college, There is very little in the way of practical solutions for parents,

This is fine but its not what I wanted or expected to read, So, so important. Excellent. Well written and researched. I thought this was a fascinating and important read, The title definitely makes it seems like it is about parenting and raising boys, but it is really more applicable for educators and coaches although parents can definitely get a lot out of it also!.
Since I am both the mother of two boys and an educator, I got a lot out of it,

It was well written and thoughtprovoking with plenty of data to back up everything she was saying, It made me think a lot about the world my boys are going into and how I can raise my children and work with my students in ways that will help them become the kind of people I hope they will all be.
Even though there was a LOT that was very concerning here, it had a hopeful tone overall, It was recommended to me by a coworker and I've really enjoyed talking with her about it! I definitely recommend it! A great read for everyone, not just parents of boys! This had lots of heartbreaking data but I wanted more clear takeaways.
There are some cool programs mentioned that I want to look into! An important, though gutwrenching, read, Walking away with new perspectives on challenging issues i, e. , sex, consent, race and what this means for raising my two boys, Im gonna be honest: I agreed with just about everything in this book, and all of it stressed me out, CW: very graphic descriptions of sexual assault, over and over and over, As a feminist and a mother of a self proclaimed boy, I struggle daily with how to teach my son about the world he lives in, about the privileges he has inherited, about the responsibility he has to stand up for injustices, without making him feel guilty for being born male.
While this isnt a parenting book, it is such a great starting point to do just that, This is essential reading for anyone struggling with reconciling the violence and misogyny in our world with the men in our lives, As someone who gas worked in the sexual violence field for more than two decades, there is litle new here for me though there were a few things that still shifted my brain in some really neccesary way.
That said, this is an excellent synopsis of where weve been and a strong pursuasive case for where we need to go, Thank you to Atria Books for my gifted copy

As soon as I saw the title of this book, I knew it was one that I wanted to pick up.
To Raise a Boy by Emma Brown is comprehensive and researchbacked and upends much of what we thought we knew about boys today, As a mother to two sons, this was an especially fascinating look at not only understanding the many pressures men feel but also how rigidly society defines masculinity right from birth.


Brown emphasized how what boys learn growing up really matters, but it also means we might need to redefine the messages we send and how we "teach boys to be boys".
Learning more about the balance between how biology and society shape us into who we are fascinated me,

For example, humans, in general, are born wanting to connect deeply but often from a young age, it is not always something that is as encouraged with boys.
This then results in an inaccurate idea of their overall desires for emotional connection,

The subconscious messages boys are often sent are fundamentally different than with girls, and while biology most definitely shapes us, society does too, In order for boys to grow up into men who feel comfortable being themselves whoever that may be our interactions, dialogue, and even some of our systems need to be overhauled.


This book left me with so much to think about from how we talk about emotions and friendships, to our discussions about sex and consent and is a topic that I could discuss all day long.
I highly recommend this thought proving and eyeopening researchbacked look at how we define masculinity today and the changes we can make for the future, sitelink be/JXZyopPBcE I decided to read TO RAISE A BOY based solely on the title, I didn't read the blurb and didn't take note of the additional titling "Classrooms, Locker Rooms, Bedrooms, and the Hidden Struggles of American Boyhood, " I made certain assumptions on the title alone only to have those assumptions dashed in the first paragraph of the book, Despite this potential setback, I have found the book eminently readable and quite hard to put down,

Stereotypes are constructs not reality, The stereotypical male, portrayed as strong, emotionless and predatory, puts a significant roadblock on the road from boyhood to manhood, Emma Brown, Washington Post journalist, taught her first child, a daughter, to verbalize “I am strong and fearless” from the time she learned to talk, TO RAISE A BOY, written in the wake of the MeToo movement, is a search for a similar mantra with which to endow her baby son.
She felt like she knew how to raise a daughter to be successful in the world, after all, she was once a little girl herself,

The human mind sometimes makes strange connections, As I was reading, I recalled a college instructor of mine who taught computer programming and networking once discussing two points that have governed much of what I do.
First, when writing a program, talk to the end user they know the job and can best explain it despite the

fact that management always thinks it knows better.
Second, when starting any project, he commented holding his hand up with thumb and index finger about an inch apart "do this much planning" followed by holding his arms wide "do this much work.
" He went on to say the converse is also true and a more effective way of getting the job done properly, How did I connect this concept to this book Think what it takes for that baby boy to become a man as a yearslong project, You have that arm's width amount of time to get it right if you start when he is very young, Who is the enduser in this project Society,

TO RAISE A BOY is written in much the same way any investigative journalist would attack a story, She did research, talked to hundreds of people, and gathered data from various studies, It is also written from the point of view of a woman who thinks herself lacking the skills to accomplish the goal of guiding a boy through his childhood to becoming a man.
Ultimately, she came to the conclusion that no matter the gender of a child, ideally we want them to grow up 'comfortable in their own skin.
' In light of her research, she came to realize that the mantra she taught her daughter was flawed and came to the conclusion she really wanted both her children to be "strong and gentle.
"

I love a book that challenges my understanding a book that makes me think a book that teaches me something I didn't know, TO RAISE A BOY did all of these things, It is a book for parents, educators and legislators if we are ever to achieve the equality we claim to want, .