Grab Once Upon A Secret: My Affair With President John F. Kennedy And Its Aftermath Crafted By Mimi Alford Accessible As Paperback

METOO TO JOHN F, KENNEDY: CONFESSIONS AND ACCUSATIONS FROM A WHITE HOUSE INTERN,

There is a difference between reviewing a book and psychoanalyzing an author, But this book provokes me to blur that distinction,

Mimi Alford, author of ONCE UPON A SECRET, can't decide if she is writing a confession or an indictment,

Characters in books are allowed to be threedimensional and textured, as multilayered as lasagna, But when a narrator's approach to a character is unclear, when the narrator in fact vacillates between two opposing views, then the book will have problems, Is this a story of the mutual, tender love affair between the charming young President and the woman he was drawn to in a passionate, if illadvised romance Or is this a story about the Most Powerful Man in the world and the way he brutally forced himself on a confused,yearold virgin

It is the latter.


Alford is to be commended for not pulling punches in her description of her first encounter with Kennedy, Indeed, the best writing in the book may be the opening, The first ten pages are gripping, suspenseful, and free of any extraneous adornment, It reads as "Just the Facts, Ma'am, " It is an outstanding beginning,

Unfortunately, even fifty years later, Alford remains ambivalent about her experience with Kennedy, Perhaps he is the only man she has worked for who uses his overwhelming gifts of charm and personality to abuse everyone around him, I have known and worked for several, It does take some getting used tothese kinds are such natural salesmen, they are accustomed to

making everyone do things they do not want to do, But if you work for them dayin and dayout, the abuse, the dangerous malevolence lurking just beneath that winsome smile begins to come out,

The original subtitle "My Secret Affair With President John F, Kennedy and Its Aftermath" suggests this book is about keeping her secret and the damage it caused, and the healing that followed sharing it, And there is a story there, But the narrative is overwhelmed by a much larger storyPresident Kennedy forced himself on a halfdrunk intern after he had barely had two or three conversations with her, It was her fifth day on the job, It was memories of Kennedy that destroyed Alford's later marriagenot her secret, It was Kennedy who forced her daughters to suffer through a broken homenot mom's secret or dad's understandableif ridiculousreaction to it, It is still Kennedy that has changed the course of the author's entire life, I think she forgives the man, the beast, far too easily, There is a reason such men are called "wolves, "

"Once Upon a Secret" brings to mind another odd title: "Once Upon a Mattress," fitting perhaps, because that first encounteron none other than Jackies mattress!seems to be the “pivot point,” as Alford would phrase it on which so much turns.
The author bluntly faces some of the hard truths about the ways JFK pushed her and manipulated her during an affair that lasted his entire presidency, But she always finds a way to defend him,

Perhaps as a victim of a classic case of sexual harassment, conquest, rape call it what you will, her mixed tone is forgivable, The Stockholm Syndrome is to be expected, John F. Kennedy was not only the Presidenthe was one of the biggest “rock” alive at the time, a charismatic celebrity perhaps rivaled only by Elvis Presley, Naturally being “singled out” by him was flattering on some level, and left the virginalyearold unsure what to do next,

But the mixed emotions of the narratorher personal reactiondo nothing to soften the truth of this crime, Fifty years later, she continues to defend the President, She frets about hurting his image she reports every kind gesture or tender moment they ever shared, including gifts he picked out for her, letters he wrote, and more, as if struggling to remind us all how sweet he was.


This dichotomy, this cognitive dissonance is even more problematic when this book is viewed as a story, as a “book” after all, The narrator endures this terrible thing, this crime that, were a few details changed, would never be tolerated, Forget the President. Imagine if youryearold daughter took an internship at the local newspaper, was invited out for drinks with the fat, fiftysomething editorinchief, After they coerce her into drinking not one but two daiquiris, the old man gets her alone, leans her over on a convenient bed, and puts his hands under her dress, robbing her of her virginity in minutes.


There are no grounds for mixed emotions, The encounter isonesided, unwelcome, and an absolute shock, The narrators odd reaction helping him with her dress does nothing to lessen the wickedness it is not consent, He was theyearold President of the Free World, She was not even twenty, a sheltered good girl from a girls school, never had had a boyfriend, had not kissed a boy since eighth grade, If it were my daughter, there might never have been a “grassy knoll, ” And yet, this victim vacillates, alternately reporting the abuse, then defending the abuser, In a book, this creates tone problems and incoherence, Are you for him or against him Is he the good guy or the bad guy Who are we supposed to root for But I suspect this is exactly the sort of incoherence you have to live with when you are the young and powerless, nearly childlike victim of a powerful, admired nearly parentlike older abuser.
Such a double mindedness should perhaps be expected in anyone victimized as Alford was,

I am a lawyer, not a psychologist, But some have said serious abuse can leave you emotionally stuck at the age when it happened, When it comes to her reaction and continued defense of Kennedy, the author seems stuck in, That is none of my business and beyond the scope of a book review, but it is the sort of impression her unyielding defense leaves, It reminds me of women who suffer domestic violence, but refuse to press charges, telling police they fell down the stairs and got that black eye,

Again, the author suffered a terrible evil, The confusion it left her with is just another part of it, Thousands of people can understand that weird and terrifying bond that connects the victim to the abuser, I only wish the author well, I enjoyed the book. Sex makes headlines, We are bombarded by the scandalous headlines,

So Im not from America so I dont really care for JFK, I bought this because it was cheap, I was curious and I love that blue color,
Idk, I always feel kinda weird rating/reviewing memoirs/biographies/blahblah because its someones life but yeah we all know that JFK was having sex with everyone but his wife.

Was the relationship predatory and weird Yes it was, Does she think it is Sadly no,


You build walls, you compartmentalize, you make sure that no one ever knows you completely, This memoir is wellwritten and offers a few shocking turns to wonder at mostly the speed with which JFK completed his "seduction," the extent of the author's willing participation in a relationship that was by turns exploitative and demeaning, and the troubling timing and aftermath of her confession to her thenfiancé.
Ultimately, however, Once Upon a Secret proves more irritating than moving because Mimi Alford's eventual selfactualization ends up being sowell, irritating, She seems to have veered from someone who had no ability to stand up for herself to someone who sees her own opinions and emotions as vastly more important than anyone else's.
For instance, she has an affair with a running buddy before ending her first marriage, Her fistpumping moment of triumph comes when she rudely snaps at a date who has the audacity to talk about himself and order food even though she is only having coffee.
And while she and her current husband are dating and he dares to arrange a weekend getaway without repeatedly taking her emotional temperature, she tells him off for being "so absorbed in dazzling me that he forgot about how I was feeling.
"

I'm deeply disturbed by the way President Kennedy abused a gross power inequality to take advantage of a naive nineteen year old girl, Young Mimi Beardsley never stood a chance against a man who had the means, the authority and the experience to rob her of any ability to object, But I agree with TC's earlier review when he writes,"Maybe I should give her a pass and say, this was what happened when she was damaged by this affair at such a young age.
But maybe it happened in the first place because she never really thought of anyone but herself then, now, or at any time inbetween, " I was hoping this would be the story of a woman who came to grips with her own youthful exploitation by becoming a stronger, wiser person, Instead, it appears she's merely given her egocentricity free rein, An Affair to Remember

I wonder how long it will take me to be able to resist the lure of yet another tale about JFK I was pulled into Mimi Alfords trap and her attractive book jacket, showing a young Mimi Beardsley in her proper dress and clutch purse and I admit I opened her book and read.


Hmmmmm. The motivation of the memoir writer, Mimi Alford says she was “outed” by another author and felt she must set the record straight and tell her own story, Okay. But what I came away with was the feeling that Mimi Beardsleys relationship with President Kennedy was not the affair she claims it to have been, but something quite different, with JFK calling the shots.


Being a nineteenyearold ingénue and being pursued by the President of the United States was, for certain, an overwhelming situation, But it is this kind of situation that defines a persons character, Miss Beardsley decided to go for it for eighteen months and she is who she is because of that, She correctly points out that this relationship put a crack in the foundation of her marriage before it was even set and I give her credit for this insight, The agreement between Mimi and her future husband, Tony Fahnestock, to never discuss JFK created the unhealthy pattern in their marriage of avoiding all difficult discussions and certainly contributed to its end.


Of course, JFK deserves a great deal of the blame for taking advantage of Mimi, Whats puzzling is that Mimi does not seem to blame him for this, preferring to think that their relationship was special, In addition she never thought about whether JFK was carrying on with other women besides herself, and she did not think about the First Lady at all, On top of that, she has no regrets, When asked in an interview if she would do it again she said, sure, It was too much fun to say she wouldnt,

This is not great literature, If youre interested in knowing more about Kennedys private life, maybe youd want to read this, Or maybe you like reading about preppy debutantes and finishing schools, And certainly there are some lurid details to keep you interested, If so, then go for it, Then you can ask yourself if this was an affair or if you want to give it a different name, .