Procure Helen And Troys Epic Road Quest Chronicled By A. Lee Martinez Displayed In Manuscript

far as audiobooks go, this was fairly strong, In fact, I think I definitely got more of a sense of the characters and their idiosyncrasies from listening to it vs.
reading it.

But seriously, I love this book so much, for so many reasons, Mainly, it's a prime example of books that are alternate reality but are real as Fck, Helen could be pigeonholed as a stereotypical superinsecure analog for teenage girldomthe hackneyed "I'm so insecure" sort of fantasy character that has a dark secret.
But she's not. She's incredibly smart, and as A, Lee Martinez has pointed out, it's never explicitly stated that she's inexperienced/a virgin, In fact, I think it's implied exactly the oppositeshe's got a much more real approach to dating than Troy does.
And she definitely has more experience with humanity judging by her empathy and reactions than he does as well.


Troy gets really grating in the middle of the book, but like most of the characters, he's saved by being incredibly selfaware.
He's aware of his privilege and yet he's also aware of microaggressions and intersectionality, Also duhhhh I love the fact that he's Asian and portrayed as basically the hunk to end all hunksbut NOT in a fetishistic way! It's more like he's just so undeniably beautiful that everybody falls in love with him, and him being Asian is incidental but not in a way that could ever be whitewashedhis empathy for Helen and his inexperience with serious dating is definitely colored by his racial identity, which YES THANK YOU IF THIS EVER GETS MADE INTO A MOVIE THAT WILL PREVENT THE WHITE WASHING.


And the final standout character, Franklin, the wannabe Orc, is such a complex mess of identity politics, done in a selfaware way.
Franklin's that white kid that gets brought home to dinner, the one that all the aunties adopt because dangit, why can't all kids want to be this good He's so desperate to be part of a culture that's not used to being coveted, and his heart is so golden.
I also have a sneaking suspicion he's the author's selfinsertion, . . if only because he makes the most "well that was dumb but I can see myself doing exactly that" types of decisions.


Kudos and mad props for having the best gayorccomingout scene this side of fanfiction, and YES HALLELUJAH for having a realistic teenage fantasy romance.
Because of course two hetero teens on a really long, isolating, lifethreatening quest would end up wanting to hook up, and possibly fall in love.
But thank goodness Troy doesn't want to "save" Helen, or "fix" her, or even see himself as "not one of THOSE normal people" and admits that he could possibly find her Minotaurism problematic.
Like I said, it's real as fck,

In the end, I think my TLDR is this: I wish I had this book as a roadmap though high school.
Minotaurs can be sexy without being fetishized, And even Prince's need rescuing AND THAT's OK AND VERy BADASS, This was really good!!
I love those books that I pick on a whim just bc not many read them, if they are bad then it's expected and if they are good they are really good.

An Asian MC who probably would hate that I said that bc he's annoyed that's all people take from meeting him, but I had to XD and a girl suffering from Minotaurism who probably would like that I said that instead of tiptoeing around it go on a road trip/quest.
I mean what else you want,

RTC. Totally enjoyable humor, AGAIN, from A, Lee Martinez. :

Great tongueincheek premises, such as the local minotaur girl working in a BURGER JOINT getting almost sacrificed by the Hamburger God Chernobog by her manager, leads directly to a QUEST.
: Bring along Helen's cute coworker Troy, get Quest licenses from the local board, tell their parents they'll be going on a roadtrip, and off we go, running.
:

Martinez always rather rocks, : It's not always the premises that are best, but the way the author always makes characters who are so damn wellrounded.
Courageous and insecure, shy and deadly, The meetcute is so damn cute, The magical artifacts are fun,

But you know what I like best Nigel the Accountant, He is pretty pissed at how stupid his orc ancestors are, Of course, no one asked HIM if he wanted to get caught up in his own quest to destroy these two poor kids.
:

Love it. : : The best part is the journey, but that ending was funny as hell, : Pretty much what I expect from a Martinez book, a fun relativelyeffortfree romp pairing a couple or sometimes a group of mismatched characters who are easy to root for, that mixes humor and fantasy, ala Christopher Moore, but maybe not quite as well.
Still pretty entertaining nonetheless. A female Minotaur and a handsome perfect hero, Many references to the Odyssey and fables, Young adult readers will identify with the romantic elements,/stars.

This book was just so fun! Epic magic quest with all of the most lovable characters you could ask for.
Even the bad guys! I thought it ran a little long, but then again that's my complaint about most books.
This review copy was kindly donated by Orbit Books,

Helen and Troy are just two regular teenagers, Okay, well Helen is a Minotaur and Troy is as close to a hero as you can get he doesn't like dogs.
Anyway, Helen and Troy are just two regular teenagers who almost get eaten by a god and then are forced to go on an epic road quest to get an unknown number of unknown relics in an unknown period of time.
As you can imagine, Helen and Troy aren't so excited about this quest, Luckily, the National Questing Bureau and Achilles, Helen and Troy's trusty sidekick dog, help them along the way.
Because the other gods are not sure that the questing adventures aren't going to kill Helen and Troy, they also send a band of orcs after them.
Helen and Troy probably wish that they called in sick to work right now and never started on this merry adventure.


This book is so much fun, Once I started reading it, I could not stop, Helen and Troy are quirky but fairly calm about this whole situation, I guess when Minotaurs, orcs, and gods are real, you just have to go with the flow.
The writing is fantastic, the characters are charming, and the plot is entertaining, This book is the perfect way to spend an afternoon,

The book lost one star, because I feel like the book was a bit tidy with the climax at the end however, I am willing to look past the ending, because the rest of the book was just a rollicking good time.
"What the hell was that" asked Troy,
"A god of yore, " she replied. "But I think it's dead now, "

Helen, one of a pseudorace of beings known as Enchanted Americans, is eighteen years old.
A good student, a Marvel Comics fangirl, a nonpreachy vegetarian and high school graduate well on her way to a good college, Helen is also a Minotaur.


She'd always thought the tail was kind of cute,

Minotaurism is nothing more than a family trait to Helen, passed down by some ancient curse laid on an ancestor.
Her mother has cloven hooves, her brothers fur and a tail, Helen has it worse than them, sure, what with the horns and all, but to Helen, she's just.
. . Helen.
But this epic isn't about Helen and her horns,

"You can help me just the same, A couple of strong young mortal specimens, "
The god focused his gaze on them, and they were immobilized by his supernatural power,
"You'll do. "

Helen and her coworker at Magic Burger, Troy, have been inadvertently Helen on purpose, actullay sacrificed to the Lost God by their elf boss, Mr.
Whiteleaf.
The Lost God, banished by his pantheon and worshiped possibly only by Mr, Whiteleaf, takes them on as his servants in the series of tasks that will being him back to his full power so he can take his throne back.


"Your quest is this, You must gather the relics and bring them to the place of power at the appointed time.
"
"What kind of relics" asked Troy,
"I'm not sure," he replied,
"How many" asked Helen,
"Somewhere between four and six, I think, Possibly seven. No more than eight, I feel confident in saying, "
"Where is the place of power" asked Helen,
"I don't know. "
"When's the appointed time" asked Helen,
The god rolled his eyes, "Soonish. "
"That's a bit vague for a quest, isn't it" asked Troy,

After being cursed by the Lost

God, their hands enchanted to help them find these mysterious relics, Helen and Troy are given the rundown on questing by the NQB you guessed it the National Questing Bureau.

After being praised for their bravery in accepting the task

"You're here because you choose to be.
"
He said as if it answered everything,
"Walking through that door was the first step, Every hero who has ever dreamed of glory has had to cross that threshold, Not that threshold specifically, but one like it, It's a signal to the universe, the moment when you agree to begin your journey into unknown worlds.
"
Helen couldn't decide if Weachter believed what he said or was pushing pseudo intellectual nonsense, She wasn't sure she cared anymore,

they're on their way to complete the quest of the Lost God,
You know what that means, . .



As fun and games as this adventure sounds, not counting the Lost God's impending violence against the tristate area the perfect last hurrah before their last summer as kids ends, a chance to get to know each other after so many years at the same school and even working the same job, Helen and Troy's quest isn't all enchanted roadside stores and drivethrough dragon preserves.


Helen, cursed her whole life, never knew she wanted to be more, . . 'Normal'.
Troy, popular allAmerican boy with a great personality and a kind heart, never knew he didn't want to be 'normal'.


A person without flaws sometimes didn't seem like much of a person at all.


Maybe the quest will go off without a hitch, Maybe they'll kill everybody. They don't know, the Lost God does't know, the NPCstatus kookie characters the meet along the way don't know, either.

But one thing is for certain, When the chips fall and the dust settles, it will, Be.
EPIC.

My only thought while reading this book besides "My face hurts from all this smiling.
" basically boiled down to

this horrifying thing is actually a CG animation of an emotimoji available on DeviantArt.


Helen And Troy's Epic Road Quest is pretty much what is says on the tin.
It's fun as all hell, and totally epic in parts, It has a bit of everything: urban fantasy with a humor twist, a really heartwarming story about growing up and changing as a person, reflections on stereotyping, and even social commentary that, though hypothetical and allegorical, of course, was a very smart turn on the way interracial relationships are still frowned upon, however 'politely', in Western society.


Oh. And Helen says this:

"I am what I am, and you're Wyatt Wingfoot, "

I first read Martinez's first novel, sitelinkGil's All Fright Diner, at thirteen, I thought it was the funniest damn thing I'd ever read, I didn't know books could be so funny, I didn't know there was such a rich genre of humor and laughter in books, It was part of what finally got me to become the reader I am today.

Martinez is a very good example of humor with merit, He's a talent and a treasure, I recommend him highly. I am SO excited to read more of his work,

"You continue on your journey, You follow the road where it takes you, Same as any of us, And you hope that, if it's going to lead you someplace unpleasant, then it will at least be interesting unpleasantness.
".