Discover If The Buddha Married: Creating Enduring Relationships On A Spiritual Path Developed By Charlotte Kasl File Readable Copy

book was extremely transformative for me, I know its very definitive to call a book lifechanging, but this marvelous read was exactly that, Charlotte Kasl wrote an immersive, potent, amp beautiful guide to loving relationships in all forms, This was not even strictly filled with buddhist teachings, It drew from joy, but also quakerism, sufism, Christianity, amp more, This was such a timely book for me to be gifted by my dear friend Summer right before I got married, I just finished it at the start of our honeymoon, but this book assisted me throughout the last month of me being a fiancé.
I drew from this read when I wrote my vows, I brought it down to our ceremony site amp read it on the morning of our wedding, amp it sparked impeccable conversations within me amp the people in my life not even just with my husband.
It is very few amp far between that I find a selfhelp sort of book that I resonate with this deeply, but I truly wouldnt even categorize this as selfhelp.
This was a gorgeous guide to conflict resolution, embracing spirituality in relationships, seeking community, learning to be a better listener, speaker, child, friend, amp lover.
I underlined amp dogeared probably half of this book because I wanted to come back to these lessons throughout my life, One of the most important lessons being acceptance for your partner in all stages, Remove the veil amp see them as they are always not through how you wish them to be, I will share some of my other favorite quotes here to wrap up this review, but in short, PLEASE read this, It was powerful beyond words, “There is an ecstatic quality to a good relationship a joy beyond words amidst lifes daily rituals amp tasks, a joy if being one with our beloved.
” “When we have a problem we have three choices leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it completely, ” “We tend to our relationship on a steady basis, not because we should, but because it feeds the wellspring of our love, ” Can someone please explain to me how someone could write a whole book on a topic and give it such a stupid name According to all accounts, the Buddha Siddhartha Gautama was married to a woman named Rahula and they had a son together.
The traditional story is that he left his young wife and baby to start a personal spiritual journey, How is this the model for "enduring relationships on a spiritual path"

I'm loving the principles in this book and though it took me a little bit of perseverence to get into it I really feel as though I'm learning something from it that I can immediately apply into my daily life and not just into my significant other's and my relationship, but EVERY relationship.


I especially appreciate the idea of living in this moment, and now this moment, and now this moment, and not comparing our partner to how he used to be last week or a year ago, but who he is right now.
And growing together by imagining that your mind is completely empty and listening to your friend/lover/partner/whomever with a completely empty mind, the only thing consuming your mind is what they are saying.


Not new ideas but helpful to my life as it takes some Buddhist, Supi , and Quaker concepts and makes them applicable to something I'm currently interested in as it is my daily reality.
Already my life feels more enriched as I reflect on what I read as it pertains to my personal world bubble, I'm reading this now it's in the bathroom, but I think that marriage is like any other discipline: something to be studied and reflected on in order to improve one's understanding and practice.
Sometimes I wish the for the ideal to happen and even if we think we are prepared by knowledge it sometimes doesn't work out.
I admire Kasl's ideals and would love to find someone who was as interested in practicing them as me, But alas, who Though I find the title somewhat cheesy, I thought it was a really readable, useful book about being in intimate relationship with another person or others, and about taking responsibility for our own selves.
I actually thought it was more relevant albeit not as indepth than much of what I learned in school about couples therapy! This book is designed for people who have more spiritual approach towards the world in general, who are looking to transform their relationship to the 'us world' instead of what is right for me and what is right for you and to project love and kindness not only towards themselves but to the Universe as a whole.
I'm sure it's just as helpful as the other book! Too much of a mishmash of ideas that doesn't treat them within their context an approach that can mislead.
I would not recommend this book as an accurate representation of Buddhist ideas, Note about queerinclusion: f/f relationships are included and Kasl has reported in If the Buddha Dated that she dated/s both men and women.


Why I Recommend Bumping This UP On Your TBR: THIS IS A MUSTREAD, I cried so much both because it was touching and because I actually grew and changed as a person while I read it, I have so many postit tabbies all over it, For anyone who is in a relationship or plans to be in a relationship, you have to read this, Kasl discusses interpersonal relationships specifically romantic and/or sexual ones from both the Buddhist ideologies and from basic psychological therapy models, This will help you understand the things that you could be doing better in your interpersonal experiences in general! Again, it's a mustread, If the word "marriage" doesn't sit right with you, I recommend reading If the Buddha Dated first, OK I didn't want to admit reading this book, But you should read it too, It could really help anyone with any relationship, If you think it couldn't, then you REALLY should because you're a little too smug, Never be smug. Whether you know it or not, you are on a spiritual path and this little book helps you realize that there is nothing so great as the here and now.
It's simple but not simplistic, If the Buddha Married is filled with the same highly practical, spiritually sound guidance that so clearly touched a chord with readers of If the Buddha Dated.
Charlotte Kasl, Ph. D. , is renowned for her ability to speak with depth, wisdom, and humor on important matters of the heart,

In this new book, Kasl inspires us to create fulfilling and vibrant relationships through a commitment to awareness and truth, Combining key teachings of Buddhism with elements of psychology, If the Buddha Married becomes a wise and trusted guide through the joys and thickets of relationships that last and grow.
i'm not married, not even close, but i enjoyed if the buddha dated so much that i wanted to check this out, i found that this book isn't just for married couples, while it is geared toward those that are in long term serious relationships there is much that anyone can take away from it, i would definitely recommend reading this along with if the buddha dated to get the most out of both of them, Strongly recommend anyone and everyone read this book, It harmonizes relationships. I thought this was helpful in many ways, It had simple issues but talked about how to use the solution to a simple problem for a deeper issue, I particularly liked the idea that when we get angry we go back to a certain age where trauma may have occurred, I had a charmed childhood but I still have moments where I go back to my teens where I yelled at my mom, Its a worthwhile book for any couple, My Aunt bought me this book, sweetly, and gifted me it at a recent bridal shower, What she didn't know is that I read the book, similarly titled, by the same author a few years ago, "If the Buddha Dated" and it absolutely shifted my entire paradigm around love and relationships and dating.
A very straightforward, easy to read, beautiful exploration of healthy relationships, Naturally, the marriage version was just the same, The difference This time around I was supremely affirmed, I learned from the first volume, clearly, and chose right, Onlyfor a useful book, that I might read again in a few months time, Why
I like the concepts and find useful stuff in Kasls books, but her style gets a bit in the way for me.
All those examples of loving and understanding couples who had problems, but have seen the light, . . I think I would have got the picture with less examples, Nevertheless some practical eyeopeners! this book really helped me in my relationship ofyears to continue indefinitely, great reminders to continue the search to see someone you love for themselves and to not tire of striving to learn more about them.
not so much of a selfhelp or relationship saver as a consciousraising route to compassion and reconnection, small short read that's easy to digest, I've had the pleasure of reading both 'if the Buddha got stuck' and 'if the Buddha dated', In if the Buddha married, Dr, Kasl does a wonderful job blending Eastern philosophy with modern day relationship issues, I can't give this book enough praise and rated it aout ofstars, If you are seeking enlightenment on how to create an enduring relationshipthis is your book! I have very mixed feelings about this book, There is so much wisdom here, but also so much that is trite and cliched, It almost feels like two different books sometimes, The "case studies" don't add much, and some of them are very odd, like the husband who spends money on hunting dogs, and the wife who cries every time he buys a new dog because she wants to

give all their money to charity and this is "resolved" by their never discussing it.
The chapters on sex read as if they were written by someone who has never actually had sex, It's not really a Buddhist book, . . there is some discussion of Buddhism but it is more a mishmash of various spiritual traditions,

Nonetheless, I have underlines and dogears throughout the better chapters, because the good stuff especially the sections about communication and conflict really is good.
I listened to this one on audio, It was highly recommended by Sylwia Wish Fulfillment, Even though I do not follow Buddha I could not stop listening and learned some great ideas, It's a great book on communication with your spouse or even a friend, Most of it was common sense, It's one of those books where you could refer to it again and again, If you are struggling with your marriage or just want to add more communication to your marriage I highly recommend you read this book.
This book was given to me by one of my best friends as she has been reading/carrying around the dating version of this book by the same author, and she performs wedding ceremonies and wondered if it would be a good gift for a couple getting married.
Much of this book, I felt, was kinda obvious, but then with all the marriages constantly exploding in our society and how little room we are given to process things consciously as individuals or as couples, maybe it is not so obvious.
This book is full of excellent tools, Reading it from beginning to end causes some lulls, some boringish moments, but on the whole, this book is great for any couple that does want to create a relationship on a spiritual path, BUT watch out what you ask for, because it could seem overwhelming, and definitely presents a serious, ongoing challenge.
The author makes some interesting points about monogamy that I went away considering as well as creates more space for understanding one's partner, Also helpful. It would depend on the couple, but the weightiness of the challenge presented naturally matches the weightiness of the situation at hand: marriage is a challenge and not the happilyeverafter.
. . this book can be helpful to have around the house along the way, this is the counter to the catty manipulations of "The Rules" This book is brimming with wonderful guidance and suggestions for building a great relation with your husband or wife.
I only gave it three because it wasn't special to me, We follow the vast majority of the counsel that Dr, Kasl proffers. Additionally, I think she bases her motivations and suggestions too much on the Buddhist principle of letting go, no attachments, no expectations, Instead, I think that the doctrine of an eternal perspective and Jesus Christ's atonement allow us to be untroubled by disappointments or current personal weaknesses while striving to repent, that is, become more like Christ.


The book is structured into nine parts, Almost every chapter is a page or a few pages of wonderful thoughts and suggestions about helping love grow in your marriage,

Read the book, The tone and temperament is kind, loving, and gentle, It won't disappoint you. HIGHLIGHTS:
. The marriage is the anchor, the home base, the center of the wheel of life, We find sustenance in it, value it, and are fed by it, Our desire to protect this special union helps still our criticism, own up to our insensitivity, apologize, and forgive, It helps us stretch ourselves to give and be honest, In doing so, both members of the union become more of who they are and thus bring more vitality to the relationship,

. Successful couples are skillful at reflecting the best parts of each other, creating an upward spiral of warmth, safety, and happiness that embraces the relationship.
We need to realize that wisdom rests in experience, observation, and reflection that combines head and heart, Its something that arises of itself,

. The first step to awareness comes from recognizing that our judgments of others often reflect judgments of ourselves,

. Accepting an apology means putting the whole subject to rest and not bringing it up again,

. Without safety and trust, conflict carries the risk of loss and hurt, As a result, people tend to try to protect themselves by holding back or trying to control their partner,

. CONFLICT: Resolving conflict requires a softening of our identification with our ego, which wants to be right and to win, Probably the most damaging thing we can do in a relationship is to withdraw emotionally and stockpile hurts and anger, Its so important to notice tensions and take them seriously when you feel the vitality slipping out of your relationship, Healthy anger is direct, relates to the current situation, and is not attacking or out of control,

. Loving service is the ultimate measure of a good life, but it must come from a wellspring of life, Love awaits us beneath our anger, fear, sorrow, and hopelessness, Love is a process that evolves over time, through shared experiences of giving, receiving, knowing, change, and loss, We learn to stay clear with each other through a profound level of honesty, We comfort and cherish each other, We laugh, cry, and play together,

. TEMPTATION: Usually, when there is a serious flirtation or an affair, there has been a long period of dwindling satisfaction in a relationship,

. If our partner says no to a request, and we pout, feel resentful, or try to convince him or her to give in, we know it was really a demand.


. People who experience joy and fulfillment naturally want to be of service to others,
On the spiritual path, we dont ask the world to change for us, we reflect on our own attachments,
To form a truly loving relationship in the “us” place, we need to meet each other as peers, not as children or surrogate parents.
.