Procure The Legend Of Rah And The Muggles Fabricated By N.K. Stouffer Copy
read this book when I was ten, and it was one of the worst things I've ever held in my hands, The plot was nonsensical, the characters cardboard, the goodvsevil too clearly drawn, and I was so bored, Do not ever read this book, This was bad but at least interesting, This has some good ideas but it isn't by any means Harry Potteryeah good going there Stouffer, You made yourself into a laughingstock,
Also, man! This would be so much better if the Spooners were beaked whales! This book is so badlywritten, I would only recommend it as an example of how NOT to write, It is good for a few laughs though, and both boosts your confidence in your own writing skills and makes you want to curl up and cry over the fact that shit like this actual gets published.
I gave up.
I read the prologue and the firstpages which would bepages, if a normal font size was used, The writing is bad and the characters are completely uninteresting, The tone is strange. I just don't think it is a good use of my time to keep reading this,
Also, the reason people even know this book exists:
In Septemberthe U, S. District Court for southern New York found not only that Rowling did not pilfer the Muggles, but also that Stouffer had lied to the court and doctored evidence to support her claims.
The court fined Stouffer,for this "pattern of intentional bad faith conduct" Really poorly written nonsense story, This is. A very funny book that got, Stolen by J erk k rap rolling for his book, hairy pothead and stoned sorcerer In another land far from the shoreline of Aura, war was raging, and Lady Catherine launched a raft with precious cargo aboard, her two infant sons.
She wrapped the boys in royal blankets and quilts, and packed a jewel box filled with bright rubies and other gemstones between them, The raft drifted away with no charted destination but the babies' survival,
The Legend of Rah and the Muggles
by N, K. Stouffer
Thurman House,pages pluspages colour illustrations,
hardback,reissue of a book originally published in
By all rights, this review should be littered with instances
of the letters "TM" in superscript, just as is the front cover of
The Legend of Rah and the Muggles, for Nancy Stouffer is
the author who has created minor shockwaves in the book trade by
pointing out that the name "Muggles", used by J.
K. Rowling in her
Harry Potter series, was previously used by Stouffer, who
is also the author of a preexisting series of books for the very
young based on the character Larry Potter.
Moreover, Stouffer's
illustrations of Larry Potter bear a very considerable
resemblance to the depictions of Harry Potter on the covers of
the Rowling books.
The response of the book trade to Stouffer's
objections, in the USA at least, has been a courageous unofficial
boycott of Stouffer's books and a stolid silence on the whole
matter: nothing must threaten the Harry Potter cashcow.
Leaving the Larry/Harry Potter dispute aside, the Muggles of
this book bear no resemblance beyond the name to Rowling's,
Instead, they are the mutant descendants bald, huge
headed, small, childish of the people left behind in the
island nation of Aura, many generations ago, when the wealthy
deserted it and them in the wake of a nuclear war.
Since that
time Aura has been covered with a purple haze through which
sunlight can barely trickle but moonlight, paradoxically, can
pass undimmed.
All this changes with the arrival on the shore of Aura of two
baby twin brothers aboard a makeshift raft they were cast adrift
by their mother, as per Superman by his parents during the
destruction of the planet Krypton, when she saw that her own
country was plunging into an alldestroying war.
Aboard the raft
along with the twins is a magical illuminating stone, which
brings sunlight back to Aura,
The two brothers, Rah and Zyn, are nurtured by the Muggles,
Although identical in every respect to begin with, their
personalities come to differ radically: Rah grows up good and
wise while Zyn grows up nasty and spiteful.
The dispute between
them is chronicled in the Muggles' ongoing Ancient Book of
Tales, upon whose account the current volume is purportedly
based.
Illustrated with a central clutch of Stouffer's own rather
jolly colour illustrations, The Legend of Rah and the
Muggles is a much shorter book than the pagecount above
might suggest: the type is extremely large and the page margins
likewise.
It is also a very badly published book clearly
Thurman House does not believe in quaint customs like editing,
copyediting and proofreading I liked the idea of a bright star
"shinning" in the sky, and especially approved of the term
"dinning room".
The text reads as if it's a somewhat inaccurate
transcript of an oral presentation, complete with shifts of tense
between past and present and countless typographical and
grammatical errors a few spelling errors, too.
Furthermore, this being a fantasy for young children, someone
should have pointed out to Stouffer the meaning of the word
"bugger", which she uses frequently and clearly regards as
innocuous.
Delivered as an oral presentation for children, this tale,
which comes complete with songs the music for one of which is
supplied at the back, would one imagines be tremendous fun it
is easy to envisage a youthful audience falling around with
laughter at some of the jokes, for example, while the ramshackle
nature of the plot wouldn't be evident or, at least, it
wouldn't be important in a spoken, necessarily episodic
telling.
As a printed novel the text doesn't work nearly so well
most of the jokes just referred to fall flat when rendered in
type.
In their place are moments of humour that are certainly not
deliberate, such as the Monty Pythonesque legend drawn from
The Ancient Book of Tales about The Year of the Rabbits:
And so it was that the rabbits with protruding teeth lost
their gentleness and ravaged the continent.
Likewise, some of the early scenes, set in the castle where
the noble Lady Catherine decides the only hope for her twin
babies is to consign them to the mercy of the seas aboard a raft,
smack considerably of Daisy Ashford's The Young Visitors
.
Lady Catherine, although heartbroken over the death of
her beloved husband Sir Geophrey sic, nevertheless
immediately starts flirting audaciously with her butler, with a
strong suggestion that onstage flirting is likely to be matched
by offstage naughtiness Real Soon Now, if it hasn't started
already:
"Sir, there is no woman in this room that wouldn't trade
dance partners with me right now I'm not about to give them the
chance.
If that makes me wicked so be it!" she said with a
poor attempt at a Shakespearean delivery, and they both laughed,
Stouffer has not fully realized her fantasy world, Aside from
the curiosity, already mentioned, of moonlight being able to
penetrate where sunlight cannot, there are items such as the
Muggles managing to grow fruit and vegetables in a sunless land.
In the same context, the traditional Muggle songs make reference
to such events as dawn, which the Muggles could not have
experienced before the arrival of the twins also mentioned in a
song is the "star that's shinning bright", even though the very
existence of, brightly shinning or otherwise, must be
unknown to the Muggles.
There are countless other such lapses,
Nevertheless, Stouffer's achievement in conceiving the
fantasy shouldn't be underestimated, Although The Legend of
Rah and the Muggles doesn't bear up well in any comparison
with Tove Jansson's Moomins series, of which it is in some
ways reminiscent, it has its excellent moments.
I was much taken,
for example, with the Greeblies, creatures amply worthy of
inclusion and this is high praise indeed! in the
ecology of Rene Laloux's animated movie Fantastic Planet
La planŠte sauvage,:
Greeblies are fat ratlike rodents that live in Sticky Icky
Swamp and often hide beneath boulders.
They are nocturnal little
pests with faces that resemble rabbits', and their large round
ears curl slightly forward at the top, Their bodies are covered
with gray coarse hair with black tips that look like they were
dipped in ink,
Greeblies have short legs, but they can jump five feet in the
air from a sitting position, Their long, coiled tails are used to
quickly grab and snatch anything of interest to them, before
being seen,
They have been known to grab hold of Muggle legs from behind
and drag them frantically for yards and yards, before letting
them go.
Most often their goal is to steal food or raid the
garbage,
Only two things frighten Greeblies: sand dogs called Nardles,
and getting caught in a trap set by the Muggles who would
more than likely use them as dinner for their pet Nardles.
Nardles live in burrows along the shoreline, and Greeblies
won't go near them, Even though the Greeblies are difficult to
see, the Nardles can smell them a mile away,
It is at times like this, when Stouffer's imagination just
suddenly lifts off the ground and carries her to who knows where,
that The Legend of Rah and the Muggles is at its best.
Given a thorough edit, this book could be much recommended as it
stands, however, the best that can be said is that The Legend
of Rah and the Muggles is worth picking up primarily for its
curiosity value and, of course, for its occasional delicious
flights of fancy.
This review, first published by Infinity Plus, is
excerpted from my ebook Warm Words and Otherwise: A Blizzard
of Book s, to be published on Septemberby Infinity
Plus Ebooks.
How to Lose,in Two Easy Steps
There's the story, and there's the story behind the story.
Both are hilariously awful. The stupid, it burns,
Maybe you've heard of this book, first selfpublished in some form in, or its author who intried to sue sitelinkJ, K. Rowling for copyright and trademark infringement over use of the word "Muggles" and other matters, This was in between sitelinkHarry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and sitelinkHarry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and who wouldn't have wanted a slice of that sweet Potter pie Unfortunately for Nancy StoufferI'm sorry, that's "N.
K. " Stouffer on her republished books by sheer coincidence, I'm sureher claims were prima facie absurd, But for a time, the lore tells us that Rowling was "fretting so much over this one stupid case that its kept her from finishing her latest book," making Stouffer probably the most hated woman in publishing for a time.
My, how the tables have turned,
Anyway, Stouffer was found to have falsified promotional materials for her prior selfpublished material, in an attempt to bolster her claim that Rowling must have seen her work and stolen her ideas, and was sanctioned,in a summary judgment by the court, so that was the end
of that.
There's a nice onepage summary of the affair here: sitelink com/makinglight/
I particularly enjoyed this detail from the legal judgment sitelink eyrie. org/robotech/stouf , because I was already ready to say that if Stouffer had ever sold even three copies of The Legend of RahTM prior to her claims of infringement, I would eat a Real MuggleTM :
It is undisputed that Ande the publishing company Stouffer created for her own work never sold any of its booklets in the United States or elsewhere.Sounds about right!
Another hilarious fact: Ottenheimer Publishers of Maryland was in business foryears before they republished Stouffer's The Legend of RahTM and the MugglesTM and other books of hers under the createdjustforthis Thurman House imprint, capitalizing on the publicity surrounding the legal claims.
Within the following year they went bankrupt and closed forever, by sheer coincidence I'm sure,
So, about the book: it's stupid, So, so stupid. If I may paraphrase sitelinkFran Lebowitz, you have not read any book as stupid as The Legend of RahTM and the MugglesTM.
You just haven't.
It's for children, Do you hate children Do you want children to grow up stupid Then by all means, read them this book, Hey, do you know what makes a great foundation for a children's story Nuclear fucking war, that's what,
From the very first page, the first paragraph, the first sentence, this book has you asking, "What the fuck are you talking about" Try it for yourself:
On the far side of the earth, Aura citizens fought great wars with other nations."Please, sir, I want some more" said no child ever, The commentary writes itself. On the far side of the earth from where What government representatives Colonies from where What the fuck are you talking about I particularly enjoy the presumably unironic United Nations standin abbreviated "coup".
They had lived a relatively peaceful coexistence until government representatives became restless and greedy, The need for power and control seemed to spread throughout the Congress of United People, C, O. U. P. , like a disease out of control, The discord caused great unrest within the colonies, Absent any real or decisive leadership, citizens gathered arms and formed militia groups,
These splinter revolutionaries were determined to reclaim democracy, . .
You don't even have to read the first page time to appreciate this The Legend of Rah and the Muggles's insane stupidity, The copyright page alone does that, Stouffer, in her illguided, extremely expensive attempt at legal maneuvering, tries to trademark everything under the sun I regret that I can't make superscript work here for all the "TM" markings, but you'll get the idea:
MUGGLEtm, MUGGLEStm, MUGGLESBYEtm, and The Legend of RAH and the MUGGLEStm, MUGGLEDOMEtm NB: term not in book, MUGGLEPLICATIONtm NB: term not in book, SHADOW MONSTERStm, NEVILtm, NEVILStm, NARDLEStm, GREEBLIEStm, NADIE sic, different spelling from in book amp NEDDIE SPOONERS OF THE DEEPtm, WINKLEtm, ELDERStm, RAHtm, ZYNtmY'all better not ever use the words "elders" or "shadow monsters" in y'all's books, or Nancy Stouffer's gonna git ya!
But if for some reason you continue reading, it gets even worse.
Chapter One the previous example is from the introduction which is actually a prologue is a runon, bloated, terrible regency romance between Lady Catherine and her butler, Walter, after her husband dies while she's pregant with twins, with a confusing timeline that begins and ends with unspeficied enemy soldiers breaking down the palace doors, in a conflict that Lady Catherine is sure will end with nuclear weapons.
Note: this is a completely different use of nuclear weapons from the introduction, which happened several hundred years prior and let to the creation of MugglesTM.
You know, for kids.
Chapter Two is way stupider, and Chapter Three is even stupider than that, and oh by the way after that firstpage long first chapter, do we ever hear about Lady Catherine and Walter and will these crazy kids be able to make it after all We do not.
We do not, in fact, ever hear again about any crucial story element once introduced,
Chapter Four is, once again, the stupidest yet to come, and so forth and so forth, I could provide countless examples, but I would hate to spoil it and encourage you to read it for yourself if you're at all inclined to read the worst thing you've ever read.
I happen to find joy in such things, Yay, me. But really, it's all so, so dumb, Like, this land country continent archipelago of Aura, devastated by nuclear weapons whose radiation transformed humans into MugglesTM over centuries, has
never experienced the warmth of sunlight, nor the beauty of an evening sky filled with glittering.So the planet became tidallocked because of nuclear war What But a box of jewels comes to them on a raft, carried between two babies floating on the ocean for over a week without sustenance and if I know anything about babies, it's that they survive perfectly well without food or water for days on end, and somehow these jewels absorbed the power of the sun and as they approach the MugglesTM's land it gives off heat sufficient to instantly warm the air and light to instantly cause trees and shrubs that survived and grew without sunlight for centuries in a nuclear wasteland where squirrels and rabbits and lionsized dogs and birds managed to survive just fine along with the MugglesTM to burst into leaves but somehow doesn't fry these babies to a crisp or permanently blind them.
Their world is lit only by moonlight shining through a purple haze left behind by nuclear warfare,
The MugglesTMplace the sunlightgiving jewel box on top of the Tower of Time which by the way is shaped like a pyramid, as towers tend to be, but now the story talks all the time about sunrises and sunsets and the MugglesTM have always had songs and poems and stories that specifically reference day/night cycles and how the fuck is any of this supposed to make any sense.
And this is just the start of it! So many more stupid things follow! Like the sheet music at the back of the book for the MugglesTM traditional bedtime song that indicates/time but has measures that are/or/and is just an awful song with terrible lyrics and you bet your ass I'm going to play it.
I know you've been wondering all this time, what is a MuggleTM, if not a nonmagical person I'll let the completely necessary character glossary from the back matter answer that:
MUGGLES, Humans left behind on Aura, the Forgotten People, conscientious objectors, sick and diseased, physically challenged, elderly, blind, deaf, savants, dwarfs, earning disabled sic, the Have Not's sic.
They became genetically mutated humans, hybrid humans, resemble children when fully grown, large hairless hears sic, tiny ears, large oval eyes, eyelids with no eyelashes, blue, violet, brown and gree sic, lump cheeks sic, narrow shoulders, thin arms chubby hands sic, three fingers and one thumb, no fingernails, thin legs, chubby feet, four toes, no toenails, round plump bellies, halfmoon shaped belly button, height:'', weight:lbs.
, skin color: white, brown, beige or olive, vegetarians,
Got that What, you need a picture Fine, but first I want to show a picture of the print layout next to a copy of sitelinkHarry Potter and the Philosophers Stone so you'll understand how padded the page count is:
And now, please enjoy a sample of the artwork included in every copy of The Legend of RahTM and the MugglesTM:
Are they.
. . polishing a mushroom Anyway, my copy of the book, purchased secondhand from Thriftbooks, came with a photocopy of anews article "Harry, meet Larry Potter in a battle of the muggles", reporting the claims of similarities but obviously published before Stouffer was laughed out of court to the tune of,.
I entertain the thought that Stouffer herself inserted one of these articles into every copy that went out into the world, Teach the controversy, that'll do it!
In conclusion, I love everything about this book, Just like sitelinkAntigua: The Land of Fairies, Wizards and Heroes, it's a thoroughly, undeniably stupid book, written for children by an idiot who thinks children are morons, and the result is pure comedy gold.
.