Get Planet Of The Umps: A Baseball Life From Behind The Plate Rendered By Ken Kaiser Issued As Version

stories, the dust ups, the wrestlers, the wise cracks, the practical jokes, Its a super road trip with a grand character of the game and its aged well, Like others have said, it's almost all stories, Story after story about how Ken fell into baseball, the people he worked with, the memorabilia he collected and almost as quickly gave away, managers, players, fans, other umpires, it's all there man.

There was a lot of insight on what it takes to be a good umpire, and perhaps most important of all is that a good umpire must be completely convinced that he made the right call, and that rings through
So do I believe everything in this book happened I believe that Ken believed it.
Even if he's getting the story wrong though, it's a dang good story, Pretty good. This was better than I expected, Kaiser has some good stories about ball players and umpires I remember very well, The umpires were definitely a different breed in the twentieth century, Ken kept it real discussing being an ump and being one of the "other guys" on the field that we either love or hate depending on if the call went the right way.
All fans should read this book simply to understand what goes on in the mind of an umpire and to see how difficult it really is.
Anecdotal reminiscence by a controversial strikes and balls caller, A really funny book! If you enjoy Baseball, then read this book, as it gives a different perspective on things! Well written! Once I started thinking of this book as a transcription of a guy in a bar BSing about his life, I really enjoyed it.
Don't look for facts or deep insight, just enjoy the tall tales Ken tells, Classic baseball autobiography by an umpire who servedyears in the minors before ayear major league run that ended abruptly with theumpire lockout/strike/resignations that ended badly for some, including Kaiser.


Funny, fastmoving and full of stories, within the genre this is a classic, Kaiser was a highschool graduate barelyas he said "I didn't know the meaning of the word intimidation.
Of course, I didn't know the meaning of a lot of other words either, " joining a friend on a lark when he went to umpire school in, After his second time through the school, and dismissal from several very low minor league jobs, he finally made a career of it, and loved it the whole way through to the bitter end.


Kaiser is honest about his bitterness of how his career ended, but maintains his humor and sense of scale throughout the book, just as he has maintained his integrity since the strike.
a fun read

Ken Kaisers book was suggested to me by a former big league player, and Im glad he did.
Its serious at times, but mostly lighthearted and fun, Terrible. Very whiny. Some good stories, though. He Called Them As He Saw them, Even When He Didn't See Them

Before baseball became enamored of sabermetrics and defensive shifts, before players had WARs and before grounders to the second base hole went into the books astoputouts, baseball had character, and characters.
Not all of the characters pitched the ball or tried to hit it, Some only had to watch it and say what it was, not as easy as it sounds, especially when its a young Nolan Ryan throwing the ball and with no idea where it was going.


The late Ken Kaiser, a Big League ump fromto, was a member of what may have been the last generation of baseball characters and he tells us about it in hisbook, Planet of the Umps.

Ken umped foryears, includingyears in the minors, With conditions as horrible as they were in the minors and as vividly as Kaiser recalls it, the reader wonders why anybody would have stuck it out for so long.
Kaiser wonders too.

What a life! Imagine, you ump a game in a little town youd never heard of until you got sent there, and after the game, you take a cold shower, eat cold hot dogs and jump into the car for amile drive to tomorrows ballgame.
Two umps in the car the minors worked games withman crews, not four, and the passenger isnt allowed to sleep.
His job is to keep his partner from dozing off behind the wheel, And to pass the beer,

The book is mostly anecdotes and character sketches strung together into book length, the kind of writing that can quickly grow stale, but here, stays fresh.


Two anecdotes from among many, to give you an idea:

Whenever a fan ran onto the field, if the fan got anywhere close to Ron Luciano, another umpire, what would Luciano do Try to restrain the guy Maybe get him in an arm bar and hold him until the security guys got there Run away for fear the guy was carrying a knife or a gun Not Luciano.
Hed ask the guy if he could borrow five bucks, Think about that one.

Kaisers in his first year, hes in the very low minors, and his partner makes two terrible calls, both going against the home team.
After the game, an angry mob gathers outside the umps' locker room, Kaiser is terrified his partner, a veteran ump who has seen it all before, is unperturbed, Kaisers wondering how theyre going to get past that angry mob and to the car, for their allnight drive.
And wondering does he maybe want to just drive home instead, and look for a sane job.
The veteran ump showers, dresses, pulls out a pistol and fires two shots through the door, aiming high so not to kill someone.
He opens the door, surprise, surprise, nobody there, They get a police escort out of the state, Just across the line, Kaiser effusively thanks the policemen, one of whom tells him it was the two worst calls hes ever seen in all his years rooting for the home team, and if hed been in the crowd, instead of in uniform, hed have been standing outside the locker room door too, banging and cussing.


Is it a true story I dont know, but its funny, and Kaisers a storyteller.
This is a man who knows absurdity, He worked a few offseasons as a professional wrestler, He got squashed by thepound Haystacks Calhoun and body slammed by the even bigger Andre the Giant.


The book is not without insights,

What does it take to be a big league ump Great eyesight An intricate knowledge of the rules Nah.
Grow big so nobody can push you around, and when they come charging out of the dugout to yell at you, and they will, puff yourself up the way the balloon fish does, to make yourself look even bigger.
And sell your decisions, even when you know youre flatout, deadtorights wrong, Sell it, baby.

Kaisers observations about the men in late twentiethcentury major league baseball are a lot of fun for anyone who followed baseball in those days.


A sampling:

Geore Brett was a nice guy with an explosive temper, Who can forget his emergence from the dugout at the pinetar incident Eddie Murray was an unpleasant brooder, Billy Martin and Earl Weaver were, well, Billy Martin and Earl Weaver.
Martin, off the field, was a super guy,

Toward the end, the book, which to now has been a rollicking good time, turns somber.
Its the late nineties and the umps, who have always been treated poorly

by the leagues, band together in a union under Richie Phillips.
Theres strikes and acrimony and the umps situation improves, butof them, including Kaiser, lose everything, except for the memories.
Those were forged, if not in iron, at least in sweat, and we can thank Mr, Kaiser for sharing them with us,

.