Uncover Miss America By Day Conceived By Marilyn Van Derbur Available In Physical Edition

is the best abuse survivor book I have read she is just so real and good, I wrote her and she immediately wrote me back, What I love about her is that she doesn't have "the answer" she just presents her story and her struggles to recover, She is seriously one of the coolest people I've ever heard talking about sexual abuse she really calls people out on their crap: including her family, some scumbag doctor, and Anthony Robbins the jerk charged likegrand for a/hour session, and he seriously doesn't know Jack Shit about sexual abuse.
She doesn't preach forgiveness, which made it easier for me to read, being that I was so raw and angry when I first read this, She allows herself and you to have your feelings, So many people want to fix you when they find out what happened to you, and we want to fix ourselves, . . but Marilyn knows better. She is also very supportive to men survivors, which isn't always the case in these types of books, She is awesome I totally love this lady, and I recommend this book to all sexual abuse survivorsIF you are at a place where you are ready to hear the real heavy stuff.
Great even if didn't happen to you educational and inspirational : I agree with some of the other comments that this book could have used a good editor, Interesting story but jumping all over the place, . . didn't finish The incredible journey of a true warrior woman, who is a "model" in every sense of the word, An inspiration not just to incest victims, but to selfpublishers everywhere, Marilyn Van Derbur was part of my childhood, I watched when she was crowned Miss America, I read the articles in the newspaper about her, and she was the speaker at several banquets during my high school and college years.
She was such a real person who seemed to have everything together that when she finally spoke out about her abusive Dad, we were all stunned,
Years later, a friend of mine insisted that I read this, which I did, I ached for the child who was forced to live the life she lived, I cheered her for her persistence in battling her "enemies, " I admire her for speaking out and supporting those who are trying to move on, The only reason that I didn't give thiswas because of how hard it was to read Marilyn's story, I loved that this was not just her story but also included practical application for the reader to help learn from her life rather than just hear her sad story.
Wonderful. A very moving account of the daytoday struggle and survival process of an incest survivor who looked, well, like Miss America in public but was someone very different in private.
The national truthquake following her public disclosure was amazing and brought me to tears repeatedly as I read, I volunteer with Darkness to Light, an organization that aims to prevent, recognize, and respond responsibly to childhood sexual abuse, Marilyn Van Derbur's story is part of the video training we offer, so naturally I was interested in reading her full story, It was as compelling and amazing as I'd assumed it would be, and after hearing her speak at a recent luncheon, I kept wanting to describe her as a total badass.
But, she is so very graceful, poised, classy, and inspiring that "badass" just doesn't seem to do her justice, The lack of bitterness she displays mystifies me, but as she describes, "peace of mind is not a gift it is a hardfought and earned reward for doing the hard work of therapy.
" I'm loosely quoting there.

Regardless, if you have any interest in how and why it is SO important to keep children safe and to BELIEVE them when they disclose if they disclose, this would be a powerful book for you to read.
If you think sexual abuse is "no big deal" and survivors should just "get over it and move on," this may help you understand why that is difficult, if not impossible, for many to do.
My only complaint is that it was a bit long/repetitive in parts, but when you realize that it took her the better part ofyears to fully heal from the shame, guilt, physical pain, and other deep wounds of incest, suddenly a few extra pages doesn't seem so daunting.


If you read this book and want to get involved in the movement to STOP childhood sexual abuse, contact your local Child Advocacy Center or go to sitelinkwww.
DL. org to find out how, This was a very difficult read, intense, I had to give myself long periods of time to process it between picking it up, but was well worth it, Hearing others stories always enriches our lives in some way, and hearing her story and the other victims stories, helped me find the courage to learn to keep an open dialog with my own children to teach them to protect themselves.
Sometimes we think the atrocities of the world only happen on the other side of the world, but this is a chilling reminder how some of the worst criminals are hidden right under our noses.
I love how she illustrated how much of a protection and healing power openness and honesty has on the human heart, I learned quite a bit from reading this book, Although the content is not one you enjoy reading about, it was very interesting to learn signs to be aware of from survivors of sexual abuse, It gave me tips on how to handle situations in our daily lives in our own families, Not an easy book to read but I was riveted by her story and the way she has empowered and helped's of people because of her story, What a brave person and I am so sorry for all she had to go through, Made me ask difficult questions to my own children to make sure they feel safe and protected, Similar to all thestar or lower reviews I strongly believe she couldve used an editor, Marilyns story is gut wrenching and important, but there is absolutely no timeline, anecdotal stories pop up on a whim, and it got so repetitive that half way through I skipped to the last handful of chapters that serve as information about recognizing abuse and how to help those who are victims.
The end chapters of her book are extremely important as a guide to parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents, etc, but unfortunately I imagine many people didnt make it to that part before of how drawn out her story

is, The premise and initial story was riveting, However, I found the editing nonexistent, ergo repetition endless, The amount of sobbing and self aggrandising began to leave me cold and getting away from the highly important central theme, I was so disappointed as I have watched youtube of Marilyn speaking and being interviewed, This was almost DNF. This is a more or less wellwritten, riveting nonfiction work, no doubt about it, Hate to be wishy washy, but I'll explain in a minute,

Marilyn Van Derbur can write and she certainly has a story to tell, The former Miss Americarecounts in chilling detail theyears of incest committed upon her by her father, a successful businessman, and the emotional and familial neglect of her mother.
Marilyn is candid and convincing as she describes the devastation to her mind, emotions, and physical health that resulted from broken trust and how she finally climbed out of her very real pit of despair.


There are a few places in the book that you leave you wondering, forcing you to fill in the gaps as to what she means, An editor should have caught the logic laps, Sometimes she jumps in a disconnected fashion between paragraphs, Again, it is the fault of the editor for not catching these thought canyons, Fortunately there are few of these problems overall the writing quality is sound, BUT

I wanted to rate this book highly but find that I cannot, Atpages, its aboutpages too long, Marilyn goes into repetitive detail waaaaay too repetitive about the terror and trauma that lingers for years after the fact, After you read her descriptions of panic attacks and blistering, daily emotional drama, all of it rooted in sexual abuse, by theth time you are ready to put the book down.
And thats what I did,

So there you have it: the book is too long and it's repetitive,

Nevertheless, for sexual abuse survivors or family and friends thereof, much of this material could be very therapeutic, And Im genuinely sorry that Marilyn and others had to suffer so much and at such a tender age,
First, I will say that Ms, Van Derber's situation is very tragic and I think she is very braveI really admire that she helped so many people through their own traumas,

However, this book needed a professional editor badly, The plot meanders endlessly, with no clear trajectory, It seems to have been written in a short time, with no planningrandom memories and events follow each other nonlinearly, which gets confusing to the reader, A good chunk of the text could have been eliminatedI think it would have made the book more readable and relateable, I do believe that the author must be a good speakerbut she is not a great writer,

The last sections which serve as a guide to parents is invaluable, I would recommend those to anyone, For this part alone, I would rate much higher, I had the pleasure and honor of meeting Marilyn in Denver at a deminar she held for survivors of child rape, I won't call it molestation or incest bcuz to me those words are not accurate, She is a phenomenal woman and I was happy to have had the time I did with her talking about our lives good bad and indifferent, Thank you Marilyn. I know you take the time to talk to everyone who contacts you and that is amazing and truly caring of you, Thank you for helping us all to come out of the dark and into the light, ambrazos y mucho amor This was a powerfully emotional book, very upsetting, The author is so honest and strong i ended admiring her deeply, One thing I really liked is at the end of the book she gives suggestions on talking with children and advocates using the phrase "secret touch" instead of "bad touch", because so often abused children feel guilty did they bring this on themselves and confused.
They may believe they are why it's bad I love Marilyn's book because she speaks from the heart, with raw candor, about her heartbreaking childhood experiences, She is a shining example of how someone can triumph over a terrible past, She's also an exceptional public speaker fans of the book will thoroughly enjoy listening to her in person, An inspiring story of overcoming one of the worst crimes against children, Her story is truly for anyone who needs to see how to rise above abuse by those they should be able to trust the most, Sad, overwhelming, but she needs an editor. Reading this was hard because it was like all over the place, so much so that it was hard to follow or she had already said something before, One of the best books I've ever read, reread, and read again, When I finished the first time I wrote to the author, Marilyn, thanking her for writing this book, Told her I needed this book for so many reasons, Even after years of therapy, She wrote me back. She is the real deal, If you, or anyone you know and love is a survivor of sexual abuse, this is a must read, This is an absolutely excellent book, I would encourage anyone and everyone to read it even though the subject material is heavy and it can be hard to get through, I am always pleasantly surprised when I learn more from books that are written by people who have had experiences than by socalled experts, Very well written. Van Derbur addresses a very difficult topic with grace, candor, and even humor, Her story shows her path to healing through speaking out about the abuse and helping others start the healing process, It does have some disturbing content which she lets you skip if you feel uncomfortable, but also is amazingly positive and empowering, It's wellwritten and conversational in tone as such, it jumps around a bit and sometimes has the feel of a journal, The book has a good pace, is easy to digest, and has an important message, making it a worthwhile read, A former Miss America from Colorado tells the gripping story of her life as an incest survivor, A Colorado best seller in hardcover, new in pb, .