I agree with the criticisms expressed here, that the book is overbroad in some areas and assumes too much in others and that it is unapologetically non orthodoxno one is going to read this book in a vacuum.
As part of my for lack of a better phrase "coming out" as a Jew by choice, this book was instrumental in relieving a great deal of anxiety about the process and really helped me decide to ultimately take the in this case literal plunge.
After years of reading about Judaism in the third person, this book helped me shift to the first, I read this book as part of my conversion process, It pretty much answered all my questions regarding the process of converting, the ambiguity surrounding 'who is Jewish', converting children, dealing with friends and family, and being naked in the mikvah
which I was a little nervous about.
I recommend this book to anyone who is converting or knows someone close who is converting, it is full of good information and useful tips about how to spend your life as a new Jew.
The book was very informational and helpful, At times though I did not feel it was for me, I am someone that wants to convert and do not have a Jewish fiancee or significant other, I think at times that was who the book was for, If you are converting and your significant other is Jewish I highly recommend this to you, However, if you are converting for reasons that don't include the above I would say read but know some parts of the book will not be applicable to you, Overall a book I do not regret reading and do think prospective converts should read, This was my first Jewish related book that I read, The reason why it interested me is because a friend of mine is Jewish, I tend to read up on what other people are, in order for me to better understand certain aspects thus is why I have a couple of Mormon books in my alreadyread list.
I just so happen to come across this book on a bookshelf of another friend of mine, I think this book is a starting point in getting to "know" the makeup of Judaism, I definately ALWAYS thought of Jewish/Judaism as a way of life ethnic like and not a faith, merely because there just seems to be many many things and rituals that fit into the Jewish lifestyle.
And this particular book definately confirms,
I did find a number of things in the book repetative and some things I seek more questions on, I suppose this is where I start to ask the Jewish friend the questions for deeper meaning/purposes of sitautions and reasons! : This book is palpably aimed at former Christians converting to Judaism because they're engaged to a Jew, so there is a whooooole lot that is not relevant to me as a person, but there's a good overview of the history of conversion to Judaism, and some details about the mikvah process that were nice.
The author just really did not imagine me existing in her target audience, This book really lays out the details of becoming a JewByChoice, from why others have made the decision, to what to expect from your rabbi and your learning experience during your months of study, to the actual rituals of conversion, postconversion celebrations, and your first year as a new Jew.
Written from a liberal Reform, Conservative, Reconstructionist perspective, the book is written for both prospective converts through marriage and those considering Judaism for personal reasons, It also discusses the disagreement with Orthodoxy over conversion they, of course, won't recognize liberal conversions, But unless you intend to marry in Israel or make aliyah more there, who cares Let Orthodoxy keep its prejudices, this book serves the American liberal Jewish convert very well.
Sincere, supportive, and detailed Diamants “handbook” is just that, and so much more, The warm hug of encouragement I needed, Demystifying many parts of the process, Diamant covers everything from logistical to spiritual to relational, though focuses most on the practical and customary steps, While not completely comprehensive, it is a helpful starting point for the convert and their family, friends, and community,
My two critiques:
The subtle but clear suggestion that becoming a Jew requires reckoning with the modern state of Israel and coming to see it in a positive way so it seems to Diamant bothered me.
I wrestle with the role of Israel in the conversion process, In the handbook, one of Diamants suggestions for a conversion process activity is to “go to an Israel Independence Day parade, ” While there is nothing inherently wrong with this activity, it is important to remember that people have been converting to Judaism for thousands of years, . . MOST of for which the modern state of Israel did not exist, Israel is a part of our world, and Jewsbychoice may be asked about their feelings or opinions about it, but they should not be expected to be Israel experts or supporters or even have an opinion on Israel, should they not want to.
The focus on Christianity as the “default” religion and culture that Jewsbychoice come from frustrated me, Maybe this rubbed me the wrong way just because Im not Christian Maybe, statistically, most Jewsbychoice are, and thus this framing for the book is warranted Im not sure, But there were several points at which I felt alienated while reading the book by Diamant assuming that readers would have to reckon with their parents Christian values, “giving up” Christmas, etc.
I wish Diamant had included more of the concerns, challenges, experiences, etc, of atheists and those converting from other religions,
Even for these critiques and perhaps even more so because of them I highly recommend this book to all those considering conversion, and all those bornJews who are looking to more fully understand the Jewish people in all their our! flavors.
As good an instruction manual as you can find for becoming a Jewbychoice, Of all the books my rabbi suggested, this was the best nutsandbolts resource to get me up to speed on the requirements of conversion in a straightforward way, It doesn't and it isn't designed to be a manual that prompts the deepest or most ultimately meaningful reflections on your journey, so you should look elsewhere for that, Still, you should have some materials that don't grapple with the penumbras of jewish thought but instead just tells you some of the answers you need to know but are too embarrassed to ask e.
g. , "does hatafat dam hurt". This book is that, and additionally contains suggestions for further reading to get the rest, Good information for what to expect through the conversion process, but still leaves me wanting to know more, An btw, family and friends I'm just learning, not making any decisions on anything : Its a good book, but only good, It doesnt offer a huge diversity in opinion or experience and is told from a very American, Ashkenazi and modern orthodox perspective, I am actually surprised and really impressed by this book! I was expecting it to be very much like "here are all the mitzvot you'll be obligated to observe, are you sure you want that are you sincere" but instead it was really positive and enthusiastic about conversion! It didn't treat Judaism as some kind of burden, and it was really warm and understanding the whole way through.
Where I expected it to focus on big religious questions and WHY people convert, it instead focused on the concrete details the part about what to expect from a mikveh was particularly enlightening, and I loved the detail put into the section on converting children, especially in regard to adopted children.
It also never hesitated to tell you to talk to your rabbi, because even when there are concrete steps, the experience is different for everyone! In retrospect, I feel really foolish for expecting it to be anything but what it was.
This book isn't proselytizing and it isn't trying to scare anyone away, It's for people who have already decided, but who are somewhat unsure of what happens next, It was, in that way, very reassuring, This is a book my rabbi has frequently recommended to me in my conversion journey, and I have to say that reading it from cover to cover has been hugely helpful.
The layout is very easy to follow, which I have found has made it easier to revisit certain passages, It didn't exactly cover my situation in a relationship with a nonJew, converting to Judaism for myself, most rabbis will not even allow this, but it covered a lot of ground, and it has been helpful in my understanding of the conversion process itself and everything that entails.
Those looking to understand Judaism on a broader level won't necessarily find what they are looking for one of my ongoing reads is Telushkin's Jewish Literacy and I have a copy ready to go of Diamant's Living a Jewish Life, both of which would be great for that broader understanding, but for those who know they want to convert or that a loved one does will find that it explains the process beautifully.
It managed to answer a lot of the questions I had and it gave me answers to questions I didn't know I needed to ask, Some of the information was already familiar to me, but it was great to get this more indepth explanation of conversion,
I would definitely recommend this to anyone considering conversion or who has someone close to them considering conversion! Fantastic book, especially for converts, Diamant includes all the pertinent information how the conversion process runs, some differences between denominations, what to expect at your beit din and mikveh, how to navigate interfaith relationships and family members, and so much more.
This book is a very compassionate take on what conversion is and what it means, and it also includes lots of information about the history of conversion as well which I found particularly interesting.
For those converts and bornJews looking for information about holidays, Shabbat, and other "howtos" after the conversion the infamous What Next, I highly recommend Diamant's followup book Living A Jewish Life.
It's just as excellent as this!,