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lost my father to suicide, I was. I was clueless and it shook me to the core,

There is nothing that can prepare you for that as well as what comes after that, The emotions one feels at the loss of a parent are so rarely discussed in contemporary media, that they seem to almost be avoided.


I loved reading this book which is interoven with the personal experiences from the author's profession as a psychologist as well as with explanations for what happens and why.
There is a gentle range which covers all possible aspects of one's personal experiences,

A reminder of what other people experience is useful to understand that other people go through it as well,

There are a few guide posts towards the end of the book as to how to pass and clear this great valley in one's life.
It is possible and I am grateful I read this book when I did, Very interesting and comforting book about various experiences with grief,
The author makes several thoughtprovoking points, and describes perfectly things we are processing without realizing it, regarding the loss of our parentsand other losses in our lives.


A couple quotes I liked:

“I think grief is an expression of our fundamental inability to comprehend conceptually or any other way that a loved ones has died.
Our brains dont work that way, We are accustomed to a person coming back into the room after that person has left it, We cannot form an affirmative mental image of someone who has always been there no longer being ANYWHERE, ”

“Its really like being out there without an umbrella when our parents are gone, ”


A very touching narration and description of the phases and aspects of grieving a parent a topic less often discussed or written about.
The author has very much disclosed the unfamiliar world one is pushed to when one loses a parent, "Everything changes and things are simply not the same and will never be the same too, One can never get over it but can only learn how to live with it, " The feelings one undergo but as a commoner will be at a loss of words to explain have been beautifully written and it feels like you are travelling with the author with one's own set of similar memories and anecdotes.
My heart rejoiced when I time and again because it reassured me that I wasn't wrong in feeling so read how insensitive and ununderstanding people around can turn to be at this lowest phase of one's life.


I would say it can be found relatable only to people in such a transitional phase in life, Else, in all probability, it's going to be thought of as an overrated topic and a book addressing the firstworld issues, This is the first book I've read on this topic ever, and specifically since my Dad died six months ago, Some parts were very helpful/comforting, I read it as an ebook and have highlighted quite a few passages and sentences to come back to if I had read a physical copy I probably would have made a few margin notes too.
I don't think this book was entirely a good fit for me this is as the title does make fairly clear, but still a book about having lost both parents.
My Mum is still alive and so not all of the anecdotes and so on were relevant or relatable to me, However even more difficult for me was that this book is rather aimed towards people quite a bit older than myself, I realise that most people grieving one or both parents /are/ significantly older than me I'mbut again, I just found a lot of the anecdotal stuff hard to relate to.
I think the earlier chapters were more useful and I semiskimmed some of the later ones, Neither of the factors I've mentioned make me regret reading it it's not like I expected some sort of personalised grief handbook, and it's a short read broken into very manageable chapters but I wanted to highlight these points in case the information is useful to anyone else starting out with this book.
I picked this up because I don't know many people who have lost both parents and I felt like I needed to find something that would just help me know that there are other people who get it.


This book is a good overview of how our lives may continue when we no longer have parents, I didn't find it particularly helpful for me, though, It mostly made me think about how hard it can be for people who have not lost parents to relate to people who have and how frustrating that can be sometimes.
I can see how this would be a helpful basic guide for someone who is having trouble navigating life during grief or helpful for others trying to understand the changes a friend is encountering.
The main premise is true: you change, your perspective changes, and many other things in your life change when you become an orphan.


There are a few passages I highlighted, One is: "Our parents' deaths are most commonly our first exposure to profound personal loss, Thus, our parents end their lives as our teachersthe roles they have played since the beginning of our lives, From the time of our birth, they taught us about living, With their death, they teach us about dying, "

I have been dreaming very often in some capacity about my parents or other people in my life who have died.
In most cases, they are alive but I know they are going to die, or they have died but have come back for just a little while and I don't have enough time to be with them so I can't enjoy my time with them and I get overwhelmed, angry, and sad about it.
Apparently, a lot of people have dreams like this:

"The dreamer usually finds it confusing to encounter parents, who appear and sound younger and healthier than they remember them to be, in a dream while being simultaneously aware that they are dead.
"

Here's another quote I liked: "Parental loss is one of childhood's most fervent and adulthood's most abiding terrors, If our parents are still living, the simple fact that someone has lost a parent may make us a bit uncomfortable around them.
They become different than we are, ever so slightly exotic, However, if our parents are also deceased, those who have lost parents become like neighbors toward whom we feel indulgent and welcoming impulses.
"

While I didn't find the book super enlightening, I'm glad I read it, and even more glad that it exists.
A must read for anyone who has lost one, or especially both, of their parents, It won't make you any sadder than you already are, and may actually bring you some peace and perspective that will help you through the grieving process, and through your entire life postparents.


Not only does it help reinforce and encourage the natural need for a grieving process, and acknowledge what a traumatic and challenging event the death of your parents can be even if you don't think it will be, or should be this book also provides much food for thought that will help you reflect on your parents' death in new and profound ways.
I took notes throughout to help me remember some of the key points and ideas, and to remind me to take time to reflect further on them and how they apply to me personally.
.