Seize Counting Daisies (Counting #1) Composed By Nicola Haken Distributed As Interactive EBook
I thought about how peaceful the moon looked tonight as I sparked the lighter under my spoon.
I wondered what put the laughter in the voices I heard outside my window as I drew the heroin into the needle through a tiny ball of cotton.
Then, as I pushed it into my vein, I allowed myself to remember all the people I'd lost in my life, let myself feel the intense pain those faces brought with them, safe in the knowledge that in just a few seconds it would all disappear.
When I read sitelinkBroken I said I would buy every M/M Nicola Haken writes, but I just want to restate that.
I will buy any and all M/M that Nicola Haken writes,
Dylan's life and his struggle with his heroin addiction broke my heart into a million pieces.
Reading what he went through and his fight to get clean was exhausting and sad but also inspiring and beautiful, in a hauntingly tragic way.
Even though he did some pretty terrible things I loved his character, I loved being inside his mind and experiencing him struggling against his "addict brain", I loved his resilience, I loved his happy moments and his truly awful moments.
He felt so real to me, As a person who currently lives with someone fighting an addiction, I could see pieces of my roommate in Dylans thought processes, his justifications, his behaviors.
The way Dylan is written I couldnt help but love him and feel for him, Nicole Haken did an amazing job showing how Dylans addiction controlled his life, how heroin was his one true love and he would do anything to get it even things he swore he would never do at the beginning of the book.
She didnt sugar coat it, she told it like it is, To me heroin is terrifying, to Dylan its magical and beautiful and soul destroying, like suffocating while having a beautiful dream.
I was an addict a fuckedup, selfish and pointless excuse of a man, But in that moment it was worth it, The world wasn't a scary place anymore, I wasn't alone. Right this second life, and heroin, was beautiful,
While I cannot express enough how fantastic Dylans character and his development were, Cameron didnt feel as fleshed out to me.
Yes, he was sweet and yes, I liked him, but he didnt sing to my soul, He was a little bit typical And at some points his naivety annoyed me, but it was a good representation about how love is blind, that even though someone has the best intentions sometimes they're making things worse instead of helping, that addiction does not only cause turmoil to the addict but to their loved ones as well.
Don't get me wrong, Cam was a sweet baby angel for being there for Dylan, encouraging him and loving him.
He just didn't shine as brightly to me,
I found the romance a little bit lacking, One of the things I was most excited for was that they were in love when they were younger.
Im a sucker for second chance romances but this one didnt have the development I was hoping for, I get it, with some people they just click and after years of not seeing each other their love can just fall back into place but.
. . I still would have liked more development not only of their relationship when they were younger but also of their rekindled love.
It was sweet and while I could understand the quick reconnection I just would have liked more.
I was expecting a deep, heartbreaking romance like in sitelinkBroken, and while I feel like I got a glimpse of it here it didn't tug at my romantic heart as much.
Also, there were barely any sexy times soooo
Overall, even though I didnt love it as much as I love Broken, which is truly one of the most amazing romances/representation of mental illness so go read it immediately, it still made my heart ache and I absolutely adored the characters and the representation of drug addiction was fantastic.
Dylan and the struggle for his life and love will stay with me for a long time, Este me ha gustado mucho, pero no sé porqué, no me ha encantado, y no tiene nada que ver con el libro: los personajes están muy bien retratados, las situaciones no son WTF constantes dado el tema drogas podrían haber sido unos cuantos, hay sentimientos, hay crecimiento, hay miseria y dolor y todo eso está muy bien hecho y el estilo de escritura es directo sin florituras, ingredientes interesantes, verdad Pienso leer más de la autora, sin duda, a ver si en alguna otra de sus historias engancho.
Cam y Dylan son estupendos, creo que eres capaz de identificarte con ellos de una u otra manera, son una pareja bonita y trabajada, pero para mí son los secundarios los que han brillado, maravillosos Paul y Derek, deseando estoy de que Haken saque la continuación porque necesito ver a esosjunticosevahhhhhh
I LOVED!
sitelink sparkly
Darn.
Nicola Haken did it again, She turned me insideout, and yes, Ill admit it, into a sobbing mess for the latter part of the book.
And this is NOT because that part is so sad, but because it made me so blooming happy,
This is by no means an easy book to read because Nicola Haken deals with a very difficult subject here.
Dylan is a drug addict, you see,
Please be sure you know there's no sugar coating about whats going on, no magical cures, We get to see addiction at its worst, We get to see what it does to Dylan, how heroin twists his mind, how it brings him to his knees and lets him slide into a life where all selfrespect is lost.
Dylan is overwhelmed by his loneliness and consumed by the deepest selfloathing and disgust,
Miss Hakens writing is intense and utterly breathtaking, She allows us to experience the whole range of desperation and anguish Dylan is going through, And I can tell that I FELT! So much, it was painful at times, That lady certainly knows how to make her characters real and ocean deep!
Then Dylan comes across Cameron again afteryears.
They used to be friends, soulmates, on the cusp of falling in love, when they were parted at the age of fourteen.
While Cameron has made his dreams come true, Dylan is on full course to self destruct,
The thing is
that love is still there, Buried deep in both of them, But how could it ever blossom now Cameron is successful, a renowned chef with a restaurant of his own and a good man.
How can Dylan even dare to think about it when he knows this:
“My love destroyed people.
It pushed them away. Whenever I loved someone they fucking died on me, "
"Everybody leaves. They left or they died, Either way, I was alone, "
"Everybody leaves. Heroin doesnt”
Right, and then Cameron flies in as the superhero whose love enables Dylan to get his act together, and they live happily ever after NOPE.
Totally wrong. What happens next is so much more realistic, it really blew me away,
Cameron is a lovely man, good at heart, and oh so human, And that's exactly the problem, He has no idea how addiction works and how to deal with an addict, and so he just does what most of us would do he tries to help Dylan, but in a way thats maybe not the best thing.
And of course things go wrong despite the growing attraction between them, The realization that love and kindness alone are not enough to get Dylan off drugs is a sobering one for Cameron.
I loved that we saw his vulnerability, his powerlessness, too,
And this is where Paul comes in, I love that guy. So much. He is Camerons rock. His common sense and honesty, his reliability make him the best friend and one of the most lovable secondary characters ever! And Derek is similarly amazing.
I do hope we will get a book about these two guys, There were certainly plenty of hints! And their little battles provided some light relief!
So, to make this perfectly clear, this book is not all gloom and doom.
Its simply totally, utterly honest and realistic, And yes, there is hope, and there is a strong HEA, even if we realize that Dylans addiction will never go away completely.
Blooming amazing in every way,
Highly recommended!.