felt like this book by Esther Wojcicki ran the gamut of the good, the bad, and the ugly,
First, the good: There is some valuable advice in these pages, and I particularly appreciated the focus on parents working through their own trauma and the chapter on trusting your kids.
The bad: As noted by other reviewers, Wojcicki's tales of her children and her students often come across as bragging, The points she's making are valid, This is an issue not so much of the what as the way, I also didn't appreciate how she enlisted her students in fooling school administration when the principal didn't like her teaching methods, Asking them to participate in deceit seems to send a crummy message, in my opinion, and it's one of the opportunities that she used to brag about herself, not just her kids.
The ugly: Aroundpages in, Wojcicki shares her thoughts on divorce and that whole section is insulting and offensive and wrong, Admittedly, I am divorced, but truly don't believe that my decision to pursue love and happiness is modeling for my child "how to live an angry life," as Wojcicki describes it.
Her judgment is unnecessary and unhelpful, That section could have been eliminated without an issue and I'm surprised an editor didn't step in and say so,
I confess that I couldn't read the next section on kindness after feeling that she had shared what I felt were many unkind words the pages prior.
I read this book in one sitting, I will start by saying that I am not a fan of parenting books in general, I find that they are either written by people who aren't parents or people who tell you there's one right way, Neither of which works for me, I have a teenager who rolls his eyes each time he sees me look at a parenting book and tells me that they are not worth it.
Alas, I picked up this book anyway because I am always open to learning, growing and trying to do better, There's much in this book about how we get in the way of our kids' lives because of who we are,
"The first thing every parent should do, then, is reflect on their experiences, It sounds simple, but we often fail to do it, "
and how many parents are making choices or taking action from their own insecurities, doubts, anxieties, etc, So their kid approves, needs, etc, them. It's about letting the kids lead, letting them take detours if need be and being there and knowing that they will be ok, It's about honoring and respecting who your kids already are, It's about not letting your own definition of success/your goals/your ambitions get in the way of your kid's life,
"The lesson in all of this: Children will listen to you they want your approval and love but if they want to be happy, they're going to have to listen to themselves.
"
It's about respecting your kids so they can respect themselves, so they can take risks and become independent, It's about giving them independence, choice, responsibility and trust at a young age and continuing it all throughout,
The author recommends a system she calls TRICK Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration and Kindness, Both giving it to the kids and modeling it yourself,
As with all such books, I don't agree with every single word the author says, There are parts where I thought she was too opinionated, too judgmental, or too preachy, Parts where it sounded like patting oneself in the back, But there is so much gold in this book that I didn't care at all, At its core, this was a fantastic book and her message resonated deeply with me, It is one I will work hard to remember as I continue to raise my kids,
Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review, It wasnt terrible, and I got most of the way through, but the incessant name dropping and selfaggrandizing was too much for me to take.
Some good tricks ha for both parenting and teaching, though, but not a books worth, Im kind of at the tail end of the whole parenting job, but this book is full of good advice for use as a grandparent, mentor and even selfimprovement.
She does come off as a little braggy and knowitall, but she kind of deserves to, Пишет про свой опыт, мамы, учителя, бабушки. Успех дочерей и воспитание по системес наверное связаны, а может и нет. Livros que começam com a frase "How to, . . " são complicados. Eles partem da premissa de ensinar lições e dividir exemplos de como fazer aquilo a que se propõem, No caso de literatura voltada para aprendizados com crianças, a coisa fica ainda mais complicada para quem já usou várias lições úteis de livros como Disciplina Positiva, O cérebro da criança, entre outros clássicos reconhecidos.
A Ms. Woj, autora, parece uma mulher super bacana, ótima mãe, profissional e engajada em sua comunidade, Estou com ela na disputa com a tal mãe tigre, a quem se contrapõe em algumas partes do livro, mas confesso que me cansei um pouco ao longo da leitura.
Acho bem difícil acreditar em algumas histórias reconheco que o estilo Big Fish é interessante, mas quando usado em excesso e com o propósito apenas de reforçar uma teoria, aí perde o valor e acho que ela exagera ao elogiar as filhas como cases de sucesso.
A leitura é rápida, então dá pra aproveitar umasoudicas em formas de leitura recomendadas ou coisas pequenas que você pode pedir para seus filhos fazerem / refletirem.
Mas se você quer gerar filhos bem sucedidos independente da sua definição de sucesso , talvez a primeira lição seja não ler esse livro.
. . I really enjoyed this one! I am surprised by the bad reviews, Yes, it's a little long winded, but it is full of some great wisdom, The key with parenting books including this one is to find the nuggets you want to implement in your own family,
I found Esther's take on raising her daughters refreshing for the most part and I whole heatedly agree parenting is never just about children it's about the adults and citizens they become.
Letting children be within reason and encouraging them to creatively play and learn as well as be kind were my favorite nuggets from the book.
I wasn't expecting the chapter on divorce but I agree whole heartedly with it as a child of divorced parents, It's rare to hear that perspective in modern day parenting books,
Yes there were a few weird stories I didn't really agree or relate to when one of her daughter's decided she would go to a different class in preschool and ultimately quit the school as a three year old but I found this to be a great read.
This book had suggestions and sciencebacked tactics to help build strong, independent, and kind individuals, Woj doesn't cite everything in the book as it's mentioned but there is an appendix and that makes it super easy to read without feeling lost or that you need a child development degree or more.
Trust, Responsibility, Independence, Collaboration, Kindness, These are highly categories that scratch the surface of basic human needs, I love that it offers a collaborative approach to raising kids in a way that builds them up to define success for themselves, trust in themselves, take risks, and care for humanity.
Something that rubbed me the wrong way that speaks more about me than the author was the name dropping, Steve Jobs, Facebook, Inventors of Google, James Franco, and so many more, It's great when you're in Palo Alto, in Silicon Valley and your schools have the resources and such, But it isn't completely practical for people of color, or people in low income areas, Woj addresses that briefly and in a way that's great because she doesn't try to speak from a position she isn't familiar with,
This doesn't mean Woj didn't experience her own struggles and I think that is why ALL parents should read How to Raise Successful People.
She speaks of her experience, of being immigrants, poor, struggling, inheriting trauma, and how that transfers and translates as the generations pass, Even people of privilege have a history of struggle and trauma, In this way we are all more alike and connected then we may have previously thought,
I don't have the
means or access Woj does, But I know what I can do to prepare my children for the world and set them up to hopefully have the access, resources, and heart to do better for others and their kin.
Read this, share this, build your village, and celebrate parenting,
Also, vote. Please educate yourself and vote, .