Fetch Real Vampires Have Curves (Glory St. Clair, #1) Depicted By Gerry Bartlett Accessible In Document

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Ive had this book on my Amazon wishlist for years, and I finally purchased it, And Im so glad I did, “Real Vampires Have Curves” was a quickread that I read in about four hours, but it kept me entertained, and laughing the whole time.


The maincharacter, Glory St, Clair is a fashionable, fullfigured vampire whos moving to Austin to open up her own antique shop, “Vintage Vamp Emporium” with her talking dog, Valdez.
Her on again, off again lover, Jerimiah Campbell aka Blade, is a hunky Scottish Vamp with an overprotective streak, He warns her that a vampire hunter is on the loose, and that she needs to be careful, The basic plot of the novel is her trying

to find and defeat the vampire hunter, Not to spoil anything, but it has a few deaths, along with some laughout loud moments, and some quirky, interesting characters,

I fell in love with main character, Glory, I loved her voice, and dialogue in the book, It felt like I could hear her speaking in my head while I was reading, which was a good thing because the author really executed the characters voice.
Glorys sassy, independent, and fun personality made her very likeable to me, but I could see how it could be annoying for some, Shes one of those characters or people that you either like them or you dont, No real inbetween.

Glory also had a couple of insecurities about her weight, and body at times, but I felt that it made her realistic.
It made her feel like she was like every other women in the world, At times she annoyed me because she made stupid, naïve decisions, but she got better as the story progressed,

There is a slight love triangle in the book between Glory, Blade, and Damian, her roommates brother, But Damian comes off as sort of an arrogant arse so hopefully she chooses Blade, I really liked Blade, and I loved the way the author portrays him, Blade is hard, confident Alpha male with a slight Scottish accent at times, I do think he is too overprotective of Glory at times, but Im hoping that changes as the series goes on,

As far as vampire books go, there wasnt really any twists or anything really different, Her vampire characters basically stuck to traditional vampire ways, They dont go into the sunlight and stakes to the heart can kill them, but she did add a few modern twists, Vampires can be photographed, but cant look into mirrors, And they drink synthetic blood that they can buy online,

But overall, I really enjoyed the novel, and I think this series brings something new to the vampire genre, There arent many novels with a fullfigured vampire, talking dog, hunky Scot, gorgeous Italian Vampires, and shapeshifters all in one book, If you love vampires, and chicklit, definitely think about reading this!
Sizeis not plus sized,nor do big tits make it so either.
So not my cup of tea, Too bodice rippy for me, and weak storyline, I felt no sympathy for any character and I wanted to stake the main character myself, Only read it 'cause a friend told me they thought I would like it and they are normally right, This was an amazingly uneven book, It was okay, I guess, Some of the characters were cute, and the author made a valiant attempt at a "sassy" voice for her main character, but all in all it was just uneven.
And kind of sloppy.

The mindreading schtick was cute for a couple pages, then it just started to look like sloppy writing, The Real Vampires Have Curves's written in first person POV, and throughout the book, other characters would comment on the POV narration because they were reading her mind.
After a while, when every supernatural character could read Glory's mind including a talking dog and a werecat, it stopped being a cute schtick and became the author's lazy way of not having to write a lot of dialogue.


About half of the character could have been cut to make the book tighter, There were a LOT of people wandering through this book for no real reason, and keeping track of them all, in case I'd need to remember them later, got annoying.


But not as annoying as Glory herself, Man. The title implies a plussize vampire, but we hear her say she was "bloated" the day she was made a vampire, That's not at all the same thing, She's got an on again, off again relationship with her guy so confused, that she has a night of great sex with him and the next day bemoans her crappy love life.


I realized I was done with this book when she remembered having sex with her man for the first time in her dressing room at the Globe Theatre.
Her. Dressing. Room. Yeah. Which probably had a shower in it too, There were no private dressing rooms in the Globe I found this out in thirty seconds on Google, I know this is a minor detail, but it's enough to make me realize the author is lazy and doesn't care enough about her own story to get things even remotely right.
Glory St. Clair is a fullfigured, independent vampire who doesnt need or want any man thinking hes her lord and master, Specifically, Blade. Blade is her onagain, offagain lover and vampire maker, Hes a Hot Scot and whether hes dressed in Scottish plaid highlander gear or Cowboy snugfitting jeans, Glory is drooling over him, If he werent so damn caring and chivalrous! Phhhft! says I, Oh, Glory, Glory, you and I both know who youre meant to be with, But if you must play “mind games” with bad boy Damian while poor Blade suffers, I guess I can wait for a sequel or two until you are finally with your soul mate.


Yes, Im sticking around for at least bookdespite my low rating, You see, I liked the book but I cant in good conscience give itthe writing is not that great, This is why half should be an optionIm talking to you, Goodreads!

I seem to have read a lot of books like this lately.
The story would be decent if the writing wasnt so godawful bad, In no way am I claiming to be a Grammarian, but frequent grammar errors are jarring and interfere with my enjoyment of a book.
Since this is written in first person you could excuse Glorys usage of “shook up” as a colloquialism but when several other characters say they are “shook up” you realize that the author probably doesnt know it should be “shaken up”.
And where is the Editor
Theres also some lazy writing that is cute the first time, but annoying theth time,

Glorys voice is meant to be sassy but comes across as more whiny and insecure, She plays up being fullfigured in a woeisme kind of way, Even though in her time being a bit “fullfigured” meant you were able to afford food it was indicative of what social class you were part of.

Her constant comparing herself to her thinner vampire friends seems like a rather modern insecurity and I wouldve liked an explanation as to why she is so preoccupied with her size.
She is described as more curvy than fat so I didnt really get what her problem was, She certainly got plenty of male attention,

I liked the idea of her mindreading dog Valdez, bred by Blade to be the ultimate guard dog, But I wasnt too fond of his voice lines that were meant to be cute or funny were kind of flat, Poor Valdez just didnt do it for me,

This book also employs one of my vampire novel pet peeves these vampires have known some of the most famous figures in history.
Glory knew good ol Billy Shakespeare and even had her own dressing room at The Globe, Another vampire slept with Picasso but dumped him because she didnt like how he painted her, But she made it into The Last Supper because she was banging Leonardo da Vinci, Oh yeah, and her brother claims to be the actual Casanova, Really So, because youve lived hundreds of years means youve met all of the most important historical figures I hate that!
This is book one in the series.
Wildly entertaining. One of the best vampire romance novels I've read in recent history, Glory, our heroin, has been a vampire for a very very long time, She was turned by the love of her life, Jeremiah, who has an onagain offagain relationship, She decided to move to Austin and open up a vintage clothing store when the killings start, A hunter is out to kill as many vampires as possible and wear their fangs as a badge of honor, Glory learns to get in touch with her vamp side, block bad boys from reading her mind, and dress with the best fashion sense possible.
A super fun, fast read, .