book is outdated but is one of the classics, some chapters were really interesting and I really enjoyed the emphasis in safety and the well being of both the submissive and dominant, but other parts were kind of meh or sometimes I wanted more depth.
A nice introductory book, if you are interested in BDSM I recommend you just skim trough the bits that peak your interest.
I loved every page of it, This is full of excellent advice and so positive about sexuality, Good!
Anyone who raises their brows on hearing SampM should read this for their edification and broadening of the mind.
It pretty much tells you everything you need to get started and enjoy the deeply paradoxical and yet tremendously enjoyable experience of sadomasochism: tools, toys, techniques of spanking, whipping, paddling, bonding, torturing, and other wonderful activities, and a method of introducing your partner into it.
Whether you like to dominate or be dominated, this book will teach you how to spice up your sex life a millionfold by allowing you to live your fantasies.
SampM is not about sexual abuse, senseless violence, or other inhumane treatment of others.
It's founded in mutual trust, love, and consent, It's about making your sex life fresh, exciting, and ecstatic, and not about imposing your fantasies on your unwilling partner.
It's all for the fun,
Live your fantasies and have a blast,
Good read. If your even the slightest bit interested in SampM this is the perfect book, It explains the different types of fetishes, how to do most of the acts properly, the psychological effects of SampM on your partners and yourself, and what and the types of people to watch out for.
It is overall one of my favorite books, I really enjoyed this book, It was funny, the material was easy to understand, It's very good for people who are beginning or are thinking about dipping their toes into the BDSM pool.
It did take me several months to finish reading it, but that's only because I was also reading other books at the same time.
I find that while helpful, a lot of the information is more for Dominants than for submissives.
With that being said, it's very important for submissives to know what a good, responsible Dominant should know.
So yes, highly recommended, Note based on some of the other reviews: This is written by a couple that happens to be male dom and female sub.
They may not be you, If it bothers you that they are not exactly you then don't read the book, write your own.
Aside from that this is a great beginner guide, The illustrations aren't great but that's what google is for and the authors make a few dadjokes but they present the information in a simple, informative manner and they emphasize that these things are meant to be FUN.
They do approach it more from a power exchange dynamic but the book is more about toys and practices than a guide to the multitude of dynamics kinksters could find themselves in.
The important thing to remember is that people in an M/S relationship can enjoy spanking as well as a switch couple and this book focuses more on the howtos of the spanking which is what matters most.
As with any beginner guide some things are lacking but by the time you are ready to learn about those you'll have passed the beginner level anyway.
The most important thing this book does is teaches you to learn your techniques, to communicate and to be safe.
I actually read this before I began my own career as a BDSM erotica author and shortly after I got into BDSM in my own life.
Even today I recommend it and incorporate its lessons into my writing, You may not be straight, may not be into male doms and female subs, may not see your favorite implement of pain or pleasure in the pages of this book but everyone can learn some of the most important lessons of BDSM from this particular work.
Especially the golden rule that everything we do be SAFE, SANE and CONSENSUAL I'm looking your way Mr, Grey. This is a great book for beginners, . . mostly.
The only thing I didn't care for as I learned about the lifestyle, is that a lot of what is said seemed absolute.
I will have to go back and reread to give specifics because there may have been things that were read differently in the mind of a then novice.
My recollection is of it being BDSMlite and seeming to say that it was just the way things really are.
It is a good addition to a Lifestyle library as long as it's read with an open mind.
A good primer for those interested in exploring BDSM, Laid out very well. Not too wordy. More like a manual than any other power exchange guide I have read, Hilarious in parts. This book uses humor to drive home some very valid points about "the lifestyle", This book chaps my ass in a bad way, Considering the subject of the text, I felt I had to specify that, It receives rave reviews everywhere I go, yet I have never recommended it to a single client or friend.
True, it offers solid beginner's information in an upbeat way, but it does a poor job at the effort.
Not only is the humor tedious and sometimes even offensive, but the images are also cheaply done.
Worse yet, it seems to assume that every reader is interested in a powerexchange relationship in which there is a dominant male and a submissive female.
At the very least, it expects that all readers will put up with that significant bias in the text.
While the authors have defended this bias by stating that they are simply writing about what they know, they did seek out advice on several other topics.
Why not invite guest authors, or find other ways to branch out They could also simply title and market the book to their real audience, instead of as a general guide.
The BDSM scene is often dominated heh by the assumption that the man is the master and his wife/girlfriend is his eager submissive.
Furthermore, BDSM books are often poorly written by people with mediocre skills in that area, but better skills in power play.
Both situations are painfully eager in this book, Not suggested for those interested in trying BDSM, or those who work with kinksters in need of a basic level of understanding.
Try Greenery Press books as a starting place for better guides, Somewhat goofy tone, but plenty of good information, A few erotic passages for good measure, For those in the Lifestyle or just interested in an accurate representation of what it's about, this makes for a good read.
At times titillating, this book takes you by the hand for a serious and not so serious walk thru the world of SampM.
.stars
Excellent resource for anyonethose interested in doing, writing about, reading about, or simply imagining!
I liked their inclusive, openminded words, despite being disappointed that the majority of the book is written from a maledom femalesub position.
Which, as the writers' state, is what they know best, so I understand why they chose that method.
It was just slightly alienating, Their generous, inclusive words certainly let me set my personal disappointment aside and allowed for my own interpretation.
All the submissive photos are of women except for one, I believe, and there were very few photos of techniques for men in general, so the imbalance of equally rendered gender images was a significant
disappointment as well.
The resources and electronic language was somewhat dated, but still understandable,
Overall, definitely recommended, Expansive and easily approachable text with sound philosophy and psychology, and many practical techniques, as well as heaps of great scene ideas! Rating:.
For techniques on the basic SampM and BDSM this is a good primer,
It's focus was on cisgendered and heterosexual people, It also only focused on Male!Dominant and Female!Submissive, which is not always the case.
They claim that since they are cisgendered, straight, white, male!dom and female!sub, that they could not write about others in the kink community even though gay men started the scene.
That's pretty lazy writing, because you could have researched or interviewed people, At least there was some acknowledgement for Queers and POC and interracial relationships, Not the point though.
Basically, sums up kinksters, LOL
This is a really great book for those seeking an introduction to SM.
Thats not to say that a more experienced practitioner will not glean some useful information from this book, but the book is most definitely written with newcomers in mind.
In particular, the books frequent stabs at humor feel like they are meant to put a possibly nervous person curious about SM at ease, while their effect on nonnewbies would probably not be as effective.
Some people seem upset about the fact that the book only addresses SM from the viewpoint of a heterosexual dominant male submissive female relationship, but, as the authors themselves mention, the text is applicable to all relationship types.
There are a few grammatical errors, and while they dont render the text unreadable, there are enough of them to make one wish that it had been properly edited.
nontraditional at it's best The illustrations are crappy, there's a major heterosexual bias written by a couple: man is dominant, woman is submissive which can be a bit uncomfortable amp some of the jokes in this text are so bad Phil's Phlogging.
But those things aside, it's a good book to read, if not buy, for an intro to the mechanics/emotions of BDSM.
Although a rehash for me, . . still liked the information in this, Still the best, hands down, on the subject, Lively conversational style. Non threatening. Great info. A REALLY great book! Funny, entertaining and educational! Anyone curious about BDSM should read this first, to get an insight into the psychological mindset of its practitioners.
Good diagrams of the body, showing where pressure points are and where NOT to smack your sub.
From previous reviews, it seems like you either love this book or hate this book, I'm a member of the formerI loved it! Excellent book to read, Wanted to learn more about the things I was reading in the erotica/bdsm books I have been reading.
The book is very informative and words everything plan and simple about Doms, Subs, Bondage, anal play, and more, . . very good book.
I would recommend to others interested in the BDSM, The book is written by a man and a woman,
Great for the novices, . . amp for some experienced practitioners as well! Very informative book covering different aspects of BDSM, Includes some practical advice, safe instructions, instructions on how to make your own kinky toys, glossary of BDSM world, etc.
Make it safe, sane amp consensual!,