the mix of memoir, nostalgia and facts, I felt like this was written for me and my brothers, I hope I never have to deal with this type of loss, Don Gillmor starts this book by trying to make sense of his brother's death, The book becomes a strong blend of memory, nostalgia, facts and contemplating the human condition, I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and sympathized with the author and his brother,
The author's study of suicide shows the intricacy of such an act, It's also a study of life, it's struggles and meanings,
A calm and interesting look at death by our own hands,
I feel for the author and his family, and for all families affected by a suicide, To the River is part chronology of what led to the suicide of Gillmors brother David and part investigative journalism on the topic.
Gillmors writing is at times visceral and at other times factbased, statistical, Perhaps there are no concrete answers left for survivors, An eloquent and haunting exploration of suicide in which one of Canada's most gifted writers attempts to understand why his brother took his own life.
Which leads him to another powerful question: Why are boomers killing themselves at a far greater rate than the Silent Generation before them or the generations that have followed
In the spring of, Don Gillmor travelled to Whitehorse to reconstruct the last days of his brother, David, whose truck and cowboy hat were found at the edge of the Yukon River just outside of town the previous December.
David's family, his second wife, and his friends had different theories about his disappearance, Some thought David had run away some thought he'd met with foul play but most believed that David, a talented musician who at the age ofwas about to give up the night life for a day job, had intentionally walked into the water.
Just as Don was about to paddle the river looking for traces, David's body was found, six months after he'd gone into the river.
And Don's canoe trip turned into an act of remembrance and mourning,
At least David could now be laid to rest, But there was no rest for his survivors, As his brother writes, "When people die of suicide, one of the things they leave behind is suicide itself.
It becomes a country. At first I was a visitor, but eventually I became a citizen, " In this tender, probing, surprising work, Don Gillmor brings back news from that country for all of us who wonder why people kill themselves.
And why, for the first time, it's not the teenaged or the elderly who have the highest suicide rate, but the middle aged.
Especially men. But, no solutions
For me this was a highly evocative, wonderfully rendered portrait of what it is today to be an old white boomer both from the perspective of the author and his late brother.
Lots of resonance but no solutions, For those we turn to Jordan Peterson, The author succeeded in drawing attention to the experience of the high rate of suicides among the demographic of the white boomer male by examining in depth the suicide of his brother.
This was a beautiful read thought provoking, and heart wrenching, Although Ive turned the last page, this book will stay with me for a long time, Having studied sociology, I appreciated Gillmors research as much as his beautifully told story of his brothers life and death.
This book is both heartbreaking and hopeful, a captivating read, The first half of this book had me enthralled often simultaneously smiling and tearing up, if not in tears as the author reminisces in his attempt to try to understand and come to terms with his brothers death by suicide.
The scenes albeit tinged by nostalgia are heartwarming and heartbreaking, but ultimately so normal making the reader contemplate/reassess their own family circumstances through a different lens.
The second half, which is essentially an academic exercise in understanding the ways in which suicide today differs from suicide in the previous generation, while of interest and appeal to the demographer/statistician in me, did not captivate me in the same way.
That is likely more a fact of, once again, my expectation as opposed to a failing on the part of the author.
But this section does get bogged down in its repeated descriptions of toxic masculinity and middle aged despair.
I also found it odd to have spent so much time discussing the statistical tendency for artists/writers/poets to commit suicide, and then, much later, to discuss the same with respect to musicians of which his brother was one almost as an afterthought.
I was thankful, at the end, for his coming back to memories of earlier times with his brother, and recent times with his own daughters.
A fitting close.
.This is a beautifully written book in which the author describes his journey to find out more about his brother amp his death by suicide, describing their lives as children amp the different paths they chose.
Alongside his personal journey he writes about suicide amp current research on the topic, To the River is at once a prodigious feat of remembrance, an intensely personal expression of love and sorrow, and a levelheaded exploration of a deeplyrooted social problem.
The tone is appropriately mournful overall but manages to be funny in places, too and that's a magical feat in itself.
I read it in about two sittings and will probably read it again before long, drawn back
for the description and the writing.
The writing is sublime. "When people die from suicide, one of the things they leave behind is suicide itself, If becomes a country. At first I was a visitor, but eventually I became something like a citizen, " Don Gillmor's brother David walked into the river, leaving behind a family and friends baffled that they didn't realize he was unhappy, depressed, looking for relief.
So Don went to Whitehorse, where he had lived, to try and reconstruct his brother's life one he admits he wasn't as aware of as much as he could have been in recent years to get a better understanding of what was plaguing him, how it led to this.
This is a heartbreaking book because the farther Don gets into his journey, the more he's aware of the shared past between him and his brother and the more he realizes his brother is not that different from a lot of other people.
The second half of the book is an investigation into who commits suicide and artists, musicians, middleaged white men are prominent in the statistics, some of them actually rising in recent years.
Read this only if you're ready for a study on death, on what causes someone to seek their own.
But also if you want an interesting snapshot of a family growing up tight, together, happy memories of boys playing together until someone gets hurt, the picture of a childhood exploring and roaming free.
It's devastating and potentially also cathartic for Don, an act of loyalty to his brother who he never got to say goodbye to.
Well written, painful, beautiful at times, I loved this book. It seems hard to believe that a book about suicide could be described this way, but To The River is compelling and laughoutloud funny and beautiful and thoughtful and heartwarming as a book can be.
The exercise of exploring a chosen death leads to much consideration of life, what it means, the struggles we all share and the ones some find harder to overcome.
So this personal story of loss and mystery and mourning feels universal, even if suicide hasnt touched your life.
Im so glad I read this, Highly recommend. Some really wonderful teachings in this one, Very well written. Respectful, probing, and written with love,
Are boomers the suicide generation The evidence is interesting and gives credence to the statement, .