Gain Cowgirls Justice Narrated By Dawn Nelson Represented In E-Text

front cover of "Cowgirl's Justice" by Dawn Nelson promises "A Novel of Romance, Intrigue, and Murder, "

And, potentially, all of those things are in here, But I'll be darned if I could find them, Well, that's not entirely fair I could make out the setups, and most of them were good, or at least entertaining, A cuckolded wife headed home to escape her philandering hubby Sounds fun, A super hot farm worker who just happens to be single Yeah, I could go for that, A crazy hippy cult moving in and taking over town Sounds just crazy enough to work!! And yet these and other setups all fall apart in the execution.
As another goodreads reviewer mentioned, this book is almost impossible to read,

Literally every scene of dialog is repeated at least four times over: once when the thought occurs to the character, twice when the character expresses usually verbatim that thought to the other character, thrice when the other characters think about what they just heard, a fourth time when the principle character reacts to the thoughts of the other character.
Also, every character seems to be mumbling to themselves all the time after most scenes, the principle character will start to walk away, stop mumble some forced bit of dialog to themselves usually the same phrases we just had bounced around four times and then move on.


Additionally, Nelson seems to flip backandforth between never using pronouns and using only pronouns, The former weighs down the narrative In the immortal words of schoolhouse rock, "'cause saying all those names over and over can really wear you down" and confuses the reader by bombarding them with names to the point where it's impossible to concentrate on the action the latter also confuses the reader who, after adjusting to nopronouns, now has no idea who is talking.
When you're dealing with a lot of characters, it's important to establish who your subject is before referring to them solely in pronouns.
Also, this wouldn't have been so much of a problem if there was one stable narrator across the novel, or even across a few pages.
Trying to keep up with the constant perspective shifts is enough to give even the most dedicated reader whiplash,

I noticed that there is no editor credited on my paperback copy of "Cowgirl's Justice, " I honestly believe that there is a good or at least fun and entertaining read buried somewhere in this stylistic nightmare, it just needs a good editor and a few revisions from Nelson to bring it out.


My advice to Dawn Nelson would be to read your books aloud to yourself and, if you can, your friends and family.
By reading it aloud, you'll catch a lot of the awkward phrasings and comma/style errors which so hamper what would otherwise have been an entertaining tale of "Romance, Intrigue, and Murder.
"

Also, here's the link to the schoolhouse rock video on pronouns, just in case: sitelink youtube. com/watchvhOaty

Finally, in the interests of fulldisclosure, I won my copy of "Cowgirl's Justice" via goodreads, com's firstreads giveaways. A guilty pleasure. I was reluctant at the start, but found myself drawn in, The story takes place in part of the country I know well and includes characters I recognize the familiar territory and recognizable characters made this an intriguing read.
Dawn Nelson's "Cowgirl's Justice" looks at a way of life that is changing and a young woman's efforts to make things right, Her writing takes you to the backcountry of the American West, and before it's over you realize her way with words, like L'Amour's, is timeless.
Bookof Dawn Nelson's Rancher Series, The town of Danville has changed little since Jesse Walker left her childhood home, the Running W Ranch, However, the people living around there have changed considerably, After leaving an abusive husband she returns home to find she has become a target, Someone is terrorizing the town, killing her animals, and threatening her life, Is it the cult that has taken up residence in the area or someone else While not looking for a new relationship she finds herself intrigued by a local ranch hand, Justin, who neither wants nor needs a woman in his life.
Jesse, Justin, Logan the ranch caretaker, and her best friend Marnie, must get to the bottom of the plan to drive her away before more people are hurt or killed and the town of Danville is changed forever.
This book was impossible to read, Hardly any commas were used and the run on sentences was too confusing, Too bad no one edited this book before wasting the money on printing it, I am a cattle rancher and a published author, I believe hard work and determination can make all dreams a reality, I am living proof of that, I was born and raised on the border in a small town named Danville, WA, My Dad was the hardest working man I have ever met, I have to thank him for my work ethic and drive to be who I am, When I was twenty five I was diagnosed with cancer and given six months to live, I had a young baby at the time and the reality of me not being there when she took her first steps scared me.
That is when I started to write, First, it was just letters to her so that she could have something later in life from her mother to read, Then it became all my stories and then my first novel, Now I have thirty three differe I am a cattle rancher and a published author, I believe hard work and determination can make all dreams a reality, I am living proof of that, I was born and raised on the border in a small town named Danville, WA, My Dad was the hardest working man I have ever met, I have to thank him for my work ethic and drive to be who I am, When I was twenty five I was diagnosed with cancer and given six months to live, I had a young baby at the time and the reality of me not being there when

she took her first steps scared me.
That is when I started to write, First, it was just letters to her so that she could have something later in life from her mother to read, Then it became all my stories and then my first novel, Now I have thirty three different scripts in differant forms of being complete and one book being made into a movie, I have one book of the year award won and six that I am up for this fall, I have another book that will be released this fall as well as my first CD, I look forward to meeting you all somewhere along this trail I have chosen to travel!!!!! sitelink,