Secure Jane Eyre Drafted By Charlotte Brontë Edition

gaze upon my tortured physiognomy and answer me one question that I shall pose to thee in the languid torpor of the drooping, sinister twilight of my soul, one which surely reveals more of my own humble, Quakerish origins, unappealing countenance and begs you as my interlocutrice to satisfy my curiosity: whyI can understand intellectually why this book would have been important when it was written and how its pivotal place in the history of the novel has shaped modern literature c.
but holy GOD it is like readingpages of needlepoint, In which precious little happens except that you start to realize that editing must be a fairly young profession and that perhaps if you

really hated your English students you could pick out one of the sentences that is roughly the same length as the Gettysburg Address and make them diagram it For reals, you'd get these honking paragraphs that would start, "There was.
. . " and then if you were diagramming you'd have a frightfully kudzucovered sixstory scaffold of indirect objects and modifiers trailing behind it, What is it about Jane Eyre that seems to be an educated female rite of passage I was somewhat looking forward to this book as it's an example of a strong woman who knows herself, but no.
She's basically being pingponged between a couple of oververbose dweebs who both have frightfully controlling tendencies and her only hope of independence is getting a windfall through the mother of all deus ex machina.
Ladies: Jane is holding you back, Protip: if a guy twice your age who freely admits his proclivity for continental floozies, gruffly dismisses his own possible child except to underpay staff to deal with her, is intense and flies into passions, makes you mop up after and keep silent about assaults in your home and then fails to mention until you're at the altar that oh, he's married and the psycho who tried to kill you in your bed is actually his WIFE, you get gone and stay gone.
Seriously, if I wanted to read about a teenager who spent half her time complaining about her looks and then dithering around about whether to go with the dark brooding intense hottie or the fair,marblefaced Greek god, I would go read Twilight.
.