Unlock Now Groomed: Overcoming The Messages That Shaped Our Past And Limit Our Future Produced By Elizabeth Melendez Fisher Good Released Through Publication

powerful read and an amazing non fiction read that I learned a lot from, I think that Goods advice are solid and do lead to a path to healing and changing our future, The stories she told are powerful and quite impactful to creating the change, Amazing book! When I hear the word "groomed" I do associate it to bad people, There are your pimps and abusers, Which in a way these two categories can be mutually the same, In this book author, Elizabeth explores all the ways that people are groomed, This book particularly focuses on the grooming of abusers and sheds attention on human sex trafficking,

This book is broken out into three different sections: We've all been groomed, What are you groomed for, and Leaving the life, Each section consists of multiple chapters details more about each topic, This book really makes you stop, think, and process everything you are reading, In fact, you may find yourself really parts over several times just because you are soaking in everything that you are reading,

I applaud people like Elizabeth for helping to shine attention on human sex trafficking, It is a nationally wide spread issue that more people need to be aware of, It does not just happen in other countries but in the US as well, It could even be happening in your town, Thus the training that truck drivers are receiving to help recognize signs of victims,

If you want to help, check out sitelink dhs. gov/bluecampaign/wha or to make a report call, This book really hit home for me and I didn't expect it to be such a gut punch, The first chapter asks you about a secret you keep and how that has affected your entire life, The author shares deeply personally secrets of her past and gives you an indepth look at how that changed the trajectory of her life, This book gave me so much to think about that I'm still processing it long after the last page, Highly recommend this one. WOW! This book was great, It really helps to digest and move through the things of our past, Not really a religious book but has some Christian principles, Elizabeth Melendez Fisher Good is a cofounder of Selah Freedom, the nations leading antisex trafficking organization, After extensively working with sextrafficking victims Fisher Good has determined a pattern of ways that women are groomed as children by parents or influential people, In Groomed, she covers five different ways that you might have been groomed for appearances, to be invisible, to be judgmental, to endure, or for financial fear.


While sharing the different ways that women have been groomed, Fisher Good shares her stories of grooming, abuse, and trauma, Her openness and honesty is tough and refreshing,

I read a decent amount of self help books and I was a bit hesitant to pick this one up because I was aware of Fisher Good's religious beliefs.
I consider myself agnostic and do not want to be preached at, I grew up in a religious family, so I am not uncomfortable with talk of religion, but I choose not to engage in more than a surface level way.


After Fisher Good covers the different ways that you have been groomed, she asks you to sit with it for awhile, She says that if you aren't ready to confront your issues, to set the book aside and come back to is someday, If you are ready to confront your issues, then it is time to continue reading, I liked her advice at this point, She doesn't just leave the reader hanging by saying that it is time to move on and not giving any advice on how to do that,

I listened to part of the book on audio and then I switched to the physical copy because my library hold ran out, Fisher Good narrates it herself and she really does a fantastic job! I see that she has a Ted Talk and I will be listening to that soon.
Very informative and inspiring. It took and lot of courage and perseverance to write this book and share the messages, I very rarely read selfhelp books and likely would never have picked this book up if it had not been sent to me, I thought it was about the authors organization that rescues victims of sex trafficking, and that is discussed in the book, but it is also a discussion of all the various ways people may be groomed into who they are and how they see themselves.
This book attempts to universalize the concept of being groomed and it addresses ways you may have been groomed in your past for appearances, to be invisible, for judgement, to endure, and for financial fear.
While it is true that most of us can pinpoint times we were hurt in our childhoods, whether by adults close to us or bullies at school or otherwise, I thankfully did not find that I identified with any of the types of grooming that the author describes.
It is certainly worth thinking about the behaviors that you or the women you know may display and helpful to understand what they may have gone through in their pasts that make them who they are today.


The book offers opportunity for reflection and ways to move forwards from the hurts of the past, It includes religious pieces and the concept of Selah, which means to pause, and is the name of Fishers organization, Selah Freedom is an organization that raises awareness and aims to end sex trafficking and bring freedom to the exploited, You can find more information and resources on their website,

While I wouldnt say this book was necessarily meant

for someone like me, it may be an important resource for someone who has been struggling.
A very interesting read that gave me a new perspective on how things in my past effect the present, Even taking in things from a "normal" upbringing into consideration,
Little in guidance on how to practically change things but jumpstarts thoughtprocesses and is a great one to reflect from,
I would most likely have appreciated it even more if it had not been so centered around a religious look on the world, Groomed is an enlightening and powerful book that shows you just how condemning words can be to the psyche, While many of us have just one definition of “groomed”, Elizabeth suggests that being groomed is, unfortunately, more universal than we would like to believe,

Due to her personal and professional experiences, Elizabeth has become somewhat of an expert on recognizing manipulation, In Groomed, Elizabeth educates us on the different ways we can be groomed,

Groomed is sooo real, The honesty in this book helps you become more honest with yourself,

Read the full review in my blog: sitelink comb Elizabeth Melendez Fisher Good is the cofounder of Selah Freedom, one of the nations leading antisex trafficking organizations, Good teaches that sharing our secrets and personal stories with others can help people to heal from personal trauma, She also feels that messages that children receive when thy are young groom them to live lives that are not their own, In Groomed, Good shares her personal story to explore the areas where women are often groomed: for appearances, to be invisible, for judgement, to endure, or for financial fear.
She explores not only how that can lead women to be sex trafficked, but how it can affect those that are not sex trafficked into leading lives that are not fully their own.


The book starts with “How Did I End Up Here” with the story of a child having a secret, one that is so deep that they cant share it with others although it will change the direction of their life forever.
This hooked me into the book and I was intrigued by the rest of the book as well, It gave me a lot to think about and I recognized myself in several parts of the book, The first three chapters of the book focus on how weve all been groomed, The next five chapters focus on the specifics of how weve been groom and the last three are how to make changes and the leave the life that is causing you harm.


In the groomed for appearance section, I recognized my Grandma, She and other members of the family were constantly remarking on the appearances of all of the girls in my family, even ranking us on our appearance and weight.
I was the valedictorian of my class, but always felt unworthy as I am not a skinny beauty queen, It was just this Thanksgiving while going through her old pictures, I found an envelope with clippings about me and the awards I had won in high school.
She had never told me she was proud of me, but was always criticizing my appearance, It made me sad. I realize now that was how she was raised and how her entire focus in life was to make sure she was groomed for her appearance and looking good.
It was her way to help me out and love me I think to criticize, although I wish it could have been different, I really thought the quotes below from the groomed for appearance section were very thoughtful, especially this week where the news is full of the appearance of Jennifer Lopez atand how the Super Bowl performance represents “Empowered Women.
” I found this focus very sad and falling into the same trap for women, I dont remember talk last year about Adam Levine doing well and looking well on the stage at his age and how it represented “Empowered Men, ”

“Study after study shows that children intuitively believe what adults tell them, even if those messages contradict what they see right in front of them.
Not only that, but children internalize those messages and carry them into adulthood, When boys are routinely complimented as smart and girls are told their pretty, it affects what they seek in the future, ”

“Girls who were groomed for appearances often become women who dont know how to look beneath their own surfaces, ”

“Focusing too much on appearances takes all our energy and focuses it on what other people see, leaving nothing left for who we really are.
”

The groomed to be invisible section sadly made me think of my other Grandma, She was groomed to be invisible, always in the background serving and never the focus of anyone, Poor Grandma. “But far too many women hover in the background because they believe this unhealthy message: Youre here to serve, not to be recognized, You dont deserve anything more, ”

While I recognized myself in many sections of the book, I realized I was groomed to endure, I am the always busy person that is always helping people and never having time just for myself, This was what my family needed from me when my parents divorced, I needed to keep everything together in both households, This has continued on to adulthood where I am now the always busy person trying to figure out how I got here, This book gave me a lot to think about and I particularly liked these quotes:

“Your friends and family know that youre the dependable one, the reliable one, the one who will be there for anything, no questions asked.
Most of the time they take you for granted not because they are trying to hurt you but because they cant respect your boundaries if youve never established any.
”

“You were groomed to believe you exist to care for others, but thats left you without space for your own needs to be met, ”

This book not only gave me an insight on how people become victims of sextrafficking, but it also gave me insight into myself and how I was “groomed” by others into who I am these days for both the positive and the negative.
I think its a good book for all women to read,
A lot of what I liked about this book was Elizabeth Melendez Fisher Good's personal story and the story of the development of the Selah Freedom Foundation.
Her candor was refreshing.
One more Favorite Quote:
“If you find yourself stuck in an endless loop of resentment or angry feelings toward a person who hurt you years ago, youre probably spending too much time on something that cant be changed.
”

Overall, Groomed is an important book that gives insight of how people become victims of sextrafficking, but also into how we are all “groomed” in our lives.
It was a very thoughtprovoking book and one that I think all women should read,

Book Source: Copy from Thomas Nelson as a part of the TLC Book Tour!

This review was first posted on my blog at: sitelink blogspot. com/ .