Obtain Immediately Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide To Talk True, Be Seen, And (Finally) Live Free Designed By Terri Cole Made Available In EText

loved this book! I read a few pages a day, When I first began, I thought it was going to be quite enigmatic, Instead, it was relatable and practical, It has helped me gain a better understanding as to how to maintain a tenacious work ethic while practicing selfcare, Pro: love the questions it gives you to put in the work, Con: the pet name and language of the book, Can we stop calling women empowered themes “boss” and could the author just write a book without ending sentences with “my dear”, or “babe” I prefer “pumpkin” or “sugar tit”, just kidding, see my point Makes it hard to take this already formulaic self help book and/or author seriously.
This book does have some really valuable lessons, however it needed much better editing in my opinion, The author's tone is so casual that it's hard to take her seriously as a professional, Phrases like, "You got this babe!" are rampant throughout it and become very offputting,

In one section she discusses "boundary destroyers, " Unfortunately she fails to acknowledge that anyone with bad boundaries i, e. her readers might have these very tendencies she's warning about in other people, and fails to give any advice on how to manage this problem behaviour if it's in yourself.
Her anecdotal evidence is all just conversations in session with her clients about their boyfriends, It seems presumptive and extremely unprofessional to label them so strongly since she didn't personally treat those men, but their partners, and was getting only one side of any disagreement.


Ultimately she's so casual and takes such an overprotective stance for her clients that it seems she is merely filling the role of best friend rather than mental health provider.


It's a shame because overall the lessons are good, This week, I savored Boundary Boss by Terri Cole, Normally, I am a pretty swift reader, but this book is FILLED with opportunities for self reflection and well, work, so I spent a luxurious amount of time reading it.
This book spoke directly to my heart and Terri Coles nononsense, conversational and heartful voice felt like I was having a conversation with a dear, and very real, friend.
I dont have enough space to share what Ive learned here, but here was my BIG takeaway: Boundaries matter, And most important, the boundaries we create for OURSELVES matter most, In the past, Ive put too much focus on the boundaries outside of my control, trying to change everything and everyone around me instead of doing the hard work inside my head and heart to truly change from within.
But after reading, I cant go back and can feel a tangible shift in my energy for whats to come, I highly recommend everyone read this, Loved this book the explanation of how to figure out why youre experiencing challenges was very helpful, and the book had lots of exercises and real life suggestions for how to get to know yourself and kindly set limits.
It also mentioned that relationships are a give and take and what healthy boundaries are not too rigid or too flexible, I wish I could give this book six out of five because Cole has written a magnificent literary aid for selfawareness/governance all women should read.
Men similarly would surely benefit from many of Boundary Boss pieces of advice and prompts,

Selfhelp books often are all fluff and little substance, That is not the case with this read because the reader is transported through many nonabstract paradigms that clarify best practices as is for the first time.
This book is something one should revisit over and again, tracking notes and personal reflections,

Insight gleaned from Boundary Boss has made me a better person, Surprisingly eye opening! Excellent. Also did herday boundary boot camp on insight timer at the same time, Excellent book. I think everyone should read or listen to it! Lots of helpful information is explained in concrete ways to aid in putting healthy boundaries in place, I got a digital arc for this book from NetGalley

As I started reading this book I began feeling triggered by the criteria of what makes a relationship a codependant one and the more check lists I ticked off, the more uncertain I became about this book and what it was implying.
You see I thought it was yet another book about individualistic ideology where any acts of service I do for the sake of God are seen as me being in an unhealthy attachment to the creation of God.
However, as I kept reading more, this realisation dawned on me, If I am some of the things that are in this list of 'what makes one

codependant' and they aren't affecting me or anyone around me in a negative or toxic way then that means I overcame those past challenges which once were my weaknesses but are now things I have converted to positive attributes.
This change occurred in my life as I learned more about understanding our psyche from an Islamic perspective, Psychology and Islam for me are not mutually exclusive,

Once I got over my insecurities I actually learned a lot about boundary setting from Terri Cole, I heard this quote I don't know where I heard/read it but a google search tells me its by Kristen Neff which changed my approach towards this book.
"Unlike selfcriticism, which asks if you're good enough, selfcompassion asks what's good for you, " I am what I tell myself I am, if I stop seeing myself as the victim then I can go ahead and apply all the productive tools Terri Cole suggests in setting boundaries.
Since having read the book I've noticed I'm more honest with my boundaries and I don't feel as guilty as I would have before, about setting them.
I can still have boundaries and be in service to people, theseprinciples can go hand in hand, you just have to be smart about managing expectations.


My biggest problem with boundaries is giving certain people what they want and then resenting them for not allowing me with an opportunity to say no to them.
Terri Cole says, "You have an obligation to yourself that no one gets beyond the velvet rope without your express permission" which is fair and true but my problems are rigid boundaries.
People do get beyond the velvet rope I have set, I cannot control people and then I feel like I've betrayed myself or am a "weak" personality which is what led to this boundary breach.
The reality is this doesn't make me weak rather I need to develop a more accepting and flexible attitude by not expecting people to constantly meet my needs, or there wont be peace in my innerself or in my relationships.


Terri Cole does a great job of connecting to her readers, she takes us through many examples where we can see ourselves in some aspects of these stories and find an alternative way of looking at our "problems".
My sister introduced me to Terri Cole's youtube channel a while ago and I have been consuming her work since, this book was an enlightening read, I would recommend it. I had a bumpy ride with this one, hence thebut I think the negative association I had with some of the elements has more to do with my understanding and expectations of her work, rather than the credibility of her experiences.
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