Download Your Copy The Swirling Mists Of Cornwall Assembled By Patricia Werner Available In Audiobook

my friends.

I consider this little dungheap excavated treasure as the Unwiped Ass of Gothic litterature, I know, I know, I rarely have anything nice to say, even when there's nicety to be said, but this one really, really deserves my unrelenting pissyassness I PRUMIS this time!

JK, stay suspended on the redeeming hopeful review qualities, forever, bandersnatches.




I have never had the privilege of undertaking an author before, with such an ineptitude to create suspense deliver in climax.
On every single buildup. I kept waiting and waiting, on every turn the heroine's moorland escapades villains making easy pluckings out of village lasses but the Tiny fuckin' Tim of can'thelpsit busted in to whittle the promising eyes of mine, with his knobby little cane poker, and left me skimming

off to other chapters, only to secure my place under the ole weight of lolterature disappointments.
Who in the Sam hell couldve made a Cornwall themed GOTHIC uneventful Youve already set the atmosphere and mystery! Wtf.
. whispers to selftimes

The Scooby Doo franchise has lawabiding royalties to the culmination of this outhouse wallpaper.
And sadly, the Sears catalog may have proven more entertaining, as well, Damn you, Cornwall coast Moors Vampire suspicions for placing so much faith in your Gothic tropes,

I was originally expecting something more like this:



But, oh, how utterly naive my dreams manifest themselves to, when uninhibited by a few caustic bitches in my life, to shake me outta those tinseltwat days.
Instead, what I got was this:

TypeDiabetes from this saccharinesaturated vampire cliche of shitshowing.
Everyone was like Count Chocula of overloaded corn syrup proportions, One bite and you're instantly cursed with diabetes,

The most climactic moment, or one that held promise, was the heroine spying the secondary hero's boner, over a serving girl's innocent ways.
I immediately thought: YES, FINALLY!!!!!!!!! EUREKA!!!! IT'S HAPPENING NOW, YA'LL!!! She's gonna be the hero's boner donor! HAHAH.




But it simply fishtailed off into a deadendno pun, without remarks on the incident, further insight, or glorification of some dark deed unnoticed or not held to account for.
Wtf You gonna show me the promise and not deliver



Allright, the funtime is fucking over.
No more second chances, or third or dumploads, Here's to this crew of impotent boner donors!


VillainCitation: And I would have been welloff with everything, if SHE hadn't came here!

Potential new title: Swirling Flatulence of Cornhole I absolutely love gothic romances with all of the mystery and the strong female characters.
Patricia Werner is an amazing author incorporating an unforgettable story with amazing characters, I have absolutely no idea what goodreads has this book only as "page", It actually haspages. I'm stopping at pagebecause I'm bored with the narrative, and despite the lure of the mystery and the Gothic novel nature, I'm not compelled to read further.
'Whatever you do, my girl, don't go to Rhyweth,' he begged,

Just before his untimely and mysterious death, Rhionna Fowley's father warned her never to return to his ancestral home in Cornwall.
Yet she was drawn to the rocky, mistenshrouded land of her forebears, and so eager to leave New York that she put his strange words aside.
But as her ship foundered off the rugged Cornish coast, she wondered if her journey would indeed be cursed.
Shipwrecked and delirious, Rhionna found herself in a castle high above the roiling sea, and in thrall to the handsome, beguiling Lord Geoffrey Rhyweth.
But as her strength returned, her suspicions grew, Why did Lord Rhyweth prowl the castle each evening what haunted him so that he found no solace in the peace of night Why did the villagers speak of him in fearful whispers And why were young women disappearing from the village Would she be next As Rhionna's terror mounted, she knew she had to flee.
For soon it would be too late to escape, .