Uncover Explosive Eighteen (Stephanie Plum, #18) Generated By Janet Evanovich Categorized In Printable Format

Stephanie Plums in a year! Crazy! I liken this series to an original document that you print out all new, and fresh, and perfect.
And then the copy get's copied, and that copy gets copied and so on until you end up with a faded, scarred, crooked, ghost of that perfect original.
It's old and it's tired and as much as you used to love it, it's time to let it go and start a new, original, document.

When I first discovered this series a few years ago, I absolutely loved it! I'm talking fan girl, crazed, running to the bookstore on my way to work to buy the hardback on the day it came out loved it.
But now, I'm ready to see more growth from Stephanie, I'm ready for the love triangle to be laid to rest, And while we're on that subject I'm going to go on record and say that I adore Morelli, consider myself a Babecake, but I feel that although I thought differently at the beginning of the series, at this point Joe is not the right man for Stephanie anymore.

Stephanie Oh Stephanie. Your ineptitude isn't all that funny anymore, It's mostly just pathetic. You should be a lot better bounty hunter by now, And thankfully Ranger is always nearby to take up your slack, Sigh. Ranger. You're a lucky girl.
But, even though I don't love the series like I used to, I still love these characters, I still laugh, and I will probably still read this series, I'll just get my books from the library instead of the bookstore, Bounty hunter Stephanie Plums life is set to blow sky high when international murder hits dangerously close to home, in this dynamite novel by Janet Evanovich.

 
B efore Stephanie can even step foot off FlightHawaii to Newark, shes knee deep in trouble, Her dream vacation turned into a nightmare, and shes flying back to New Jersey solo, Worse still, her seatmate never returned to the plane after the L, A. layover. Now hes deadand a ragtag collection of thugs and psychos, not to mention the FBI, are all looking for a photograph he was supposed to be carrying.

 
O nly one person has seen the missing photo: Stephanie Plum, Now shes the target. An FBI sketch artist helps Stephanie recreate the person in the photo, but Stephanies descriptive skills are lacking, Until she can improve them, shell need to watch her back,
 
O ver at the bail bonds agency things are going from bad to worse, Vinnies temporary HQ has gone up in smoke, Stephanies wheelman, Lula, falls for their largest skip yet, Lifetime arch nemesis Joyce Barnhardt moves into Stephanies apartment, And everyone wants to know what happened in Hawaii
 
M orelli, Trentons hottest cop, isnt talking about Hawaii, Ranger, the man of mystery, isnt talking about Hawaii, And all Stephanie is willing to say about her Hawaiian vacation is, . . Its complicated. I enjoyed this book just like I have enjoyed all the others, I find them entertaining and laugh out loud funny,
It doesn't seem to bother me, as it does others, that the character Stephanie Plum is sleeping with more than one man at a time.
She's young, not in a permanent relationship and FICTIONAL,

Stephanie is up to her usual shenanigans with two hot men at her beck and call, She finally carries her gun regularly and it is loaded, . . As always, the supporting characters more than pay the price of admission, A solid contribution to the series and makes you want to keep reading, Stephanie Plum is a tramp,

I was sitting on the porch in my rocking chair, whistling to myself as I read a steamy scene between Steph and Morelli moaning and praying to whoever was listening to drop a Morelli in my arms as well.
I flipped to the cover to admire the intricate swirls of the title Juicy eighty five,

And then it hit me,

My hands were wrinkled and the reason for my moans wasnt the raunchy scene but my old knees, I was dreaming. About reading. This book. Even when. I was ninety years old,

Imagine that.



Janet Evanovich gives me a heartburn, Every time I pick a book from this series, she starts it with ahem, you better listen guys “My name is Stephanie Plum, . . ”

Youd think the readers would remember what shes called after seventeen books but hey, doesnt hurt to make extra sure eh

“I live in a one bed, one bath apartment.
”

I know,

“My parents live in the burg”

Do they Thats news,

“Morelli took my virginity behind the eclair cabinet, ”

Youre forgetting the choochoo game part, Janet! Put it in! I dont think I remember it even after hearing it for a thousand times.
Oh, so youll let that one go Shame,


Then starts the history lesson about her grandad living with Jesus, Woah look, there come the repetitive jokes, Oooh, someone died. Hey! Stephanies involved. How unexpected. Ranger calls her a babe, She melts into goo. They do the deed. In a closet.

Wait.

It gets better,

She swears to never sleep with another guy until this mess is fixed,



You: Three Three

Me: Theyre all for Morelli, Really, this book does pull its socks up after themark, Things gets exciting and dare I say it, funny, Especially the whole fiasco in Mexico, Lulas as stupid as ever but she really outdid herself in this one, Stephs family is still crazy, Her mother still “cuts her eyes to the whiskey cabinet” every five seconds,

But I guess thats why I cant stop reading this trainwreck, And I wont when Im ninety years old and cant even get up to pee, I have a very complicated relationship with Stephanie, I aint letting go first,

I aint.


If you like my review, go like it on sitelinkAmazon would you Maybe JE's publishers will see it, . .

So, here I am again, I swore I wouldn't read another Evanovich Plum Novelafter my last review of, I swore tooth and nail to my husband, my mom, and my blog readers that I wouldn't read it! So.
. . I went to the library, I really just had to know if it was as bad as the previous one, After being teased that she might make a decision in, I let my small curiosity overshadow my intellect,

Remember back in the day of the early awesome plum books, where Stephanie felt BAD for kissing Ranger when she was dating Morelli Remember back in the day where she swore she would never be like Joyce the whore Remember Well, it seems Stephanie has inhaled too many donuts, smoke fumesfrom her cars always catching fire, and hair spray, because after she slept with Ranger and Morelli on back to back nights in, cementing her in my hoochie hall of fame She is now sleeping with both men regularly in.
How many times was itor so with Rangerorwith Morelli and then I'm sure her and Ranger had more sex in Hawaii than we were told.
I mean, dudesit's Ranger and Hawaii. I would! Well, I would if I wasn't conflicted or dating another man, but hey, that's me, I have morals and scruples and a code of nonwhorism,

I wish Joe had caught Steph having sex with Ranger in Hawaii, That would have been good, I also wish we got to see Joe and Ranger fight, That would have been panty melting too, But No.

Picturing Lula in all black with painted on pants and boob squish, does make me laugh, I did laugh a little, But it doesn't make up for the completedegree turns every character in the Plum series has taken, Her mom is a lush, Steph is a whore, Ranger has no sack, Joe lost his possessive balls too, Lula still thinks too much about food, but she at least strives to be better.
. . sometimes. When it's easier

It seems that afterbooks, Ranger and Morelli have lost their balls, Huh. Who would have seen that one coming, Heh, I said coming. Did Stephanie here that She probably is one of them right now, and while in the throes with whomever it is, is secretly wondering how long she has to wait to sleep with the other one so she doesn't seem tacky.
Should she take a shower first Nah, Why bother She is just going to get sweaty again,

I jest. Sort of. I know, If I get so angry about the direction, why do I keep reading I keep hoping things will change and they have! Finally, they have! Only for the worse.
I remember thinking, why does she keep getting back with Joe She should give Ranger a turn, Only, not this way. Why can't she have a relationship again For a whole book, let her be with Ranger! Then at the end, have Joe tell Ranger to meet him at midnight, in the dark park, alone.
with no guns. Only fists. YAY!

Pulease.

Janet Evanovich What on earth are you doing to your characters They have completely morphed into podpeople, They have been replaced with robots!

Lula got on my nerves, She reminded me of Boomer from ESPN with his "Whoops!" with her "Bams!"

So, once again we are left on a 'cliff' only this time I am not falling! I am going to back away, gracefully from the edge, and bow down to the awesomeness that Stephanie used to be, and keep her alive in my memories.


I am getting off the crazy train, If I want to read cars getting blown up, her sneaky snarkness, and some hot glimpses of two actual men, . . I'll read the early plum books, Here's the thing. I love Janet. I love the Stephanie world, I really do,

However afterbooks a lot of things are starting to get very old,

Let's start with:
Lula's eating habits: It's getting really annoying, book after book, listening to her bitch and moan about what she eats, what she doesn't eat etc.
etc. Either stick the girl on a complete diet or shut up about her eating habits, I really don't care that she's about to get sick after eatingcream filled donuts, She's a pig and it's getting disgusting, Then she gets sick and after a few seconds immediately starts stuffing her face again because she thought she was "over it, "

Lula and her overdramatization of EVERYTHING, She's worse then a soap opera half the time, OMG. A cats ashes fell on me I'M BREAKING OUT IN HIVES, OMG! THE OLD GUY WHO CLAIMS TO BE A VAMPIRE JUST GUMMED ME I CAN FEEL MY TEETH GROWING, Seriously I've read Bronte novels with less drama then Lula,

Stephanie: Her love life, lack of common sense, and the incapability to do her job are past being cute, Yes, she's torn between two men and the chase is fun, It's even more fun now that her and Ranger are hitting the sack a lot more often, But the whole her mother/grandmother trying to fix her up all the time, . it's old. It's done. Apparently they haven't gotten the memo yet that Stephanie isn't going to end up with some other guy they throw her way, She's in love with Morelli, she's in lust with Ranger, Her common sense and incapability to do her job go hand in hand,

Let's take the newest book for example shall we

Stephanie is chasing after a purse thief, That's right ladies and gents A, Purse. Thief. A whiney, child of a purse thief who believes he can just take anything he wants because mommy didn't tell him no enough as a child.
So what does our darling, clueless Stephanie do She takes her purse with her while she's trying to bring the bad guy, And what happens children He steals her purse and then steals her car,

And if once wasn't bad enough, . . SHE DOES IT TWICE. Because clearly, she didn't learn her lesson the first time around, And then he continues stealing her car until she's forced to trade it in for a different one because he has the keys to her RAV.


Also, the whole "I can't ask Ranger help because he'll see me as weak" thing is past its prime, He sees you as weak and he always will, That's why he protects her as much as he does, because Stephanie cannot hold her own, Not even against a purse thief,

You don't like guns, Well, get a different line of work, You don't charge your stun gun I have no sympathy for you when you get kidnapped, You don't want to call Morelli or Ranger for help because you can't keep your vagina in check, . . not my problem.

Stephanie is no longer a novice bounty hunter, I would never call her an expert one, but she's been in the game long enough to know the basics, Even Joyce knows how to handle herself more when she's going after FTAs then Stephanie does and this is what Stephanie does for a living,

I really hope Janet starts progressing the character more in the next book, Afterbooks, it should have started already, .