Immerse In Gods Callgirl Created By Carla Van Raay File Digital Edition

title to this autobiography is enticing, The "author" may have had a great story to tell however she failed to deliver anything of substance, It is tedious and has no structure, One boring mess of read, If possible would give it half a star I've had a fascination with nuns ever since I was young, when my Barbie dolls would regularly make vows to God and then break them in favour of a white lace wedding to Ken.
The Nun's Story still makes me cry and I can't decide whether I prefer the book to the movie they're both compelling in their own ways.
I even wrote two chapters of a novel about a twentysomething nun who leaves her order under mysterious circumstances, When I went to college an allfemale, Catholic college run by nuns I observed, up close and personal, the tremendous sacrifice and strength of will exhibited by these amazing women.
And as an impressionableyearold, I had a passing acquaintance with a woman who entered the convent when she was, fresh out of college, and what I remember most was seeing her at a conference a year later, thin as a rail and with the sparkle gone from her eyes.
What could this choice do to a woman, especially in this day and age What does becoming a nun mean for someone's life, and what happens if it doesn't work out The inner workings of convent life especially fascinated me, and still do, to the point that I am drawn to any books having to do with nuns, especially contemporary accounts written by women who have left the order for secular life.
Fortunately I have a husband with a good memory for such details, and this book was an early Christmas present when I complained about having nothing but parenting manuals to look at.


Carla van Raay is one of these women, but she didn't leave just to lead a "normal" life she left and, through a series of soulfragmenting mishaps, decisions, mistakes and choices some conscious, others driven by past events, still others from a desire to confront deeper parts of herself became a prostitute.
There's not much else to say about that, except that she spends almost as much time detailing the nittygritty of her life between the sheets as she does explaining the minutiae of convent life.
Some of it was nauseating, as I have a weak stomach for certain things, but some of it was absolutely spellbinding, It was hard for me to remember that she entered the convent in the preVatican II days, when Mother Superior ruled and her nuns weren't allowed to think for themselves at all.
Nuns today have considerably more freedom of thought and movement or so it appears to an outsider like me, Still, there's something timeless about Carla's story, and even though she'll benext year she was born in, her voice hovers in youth and it's that youth and innocence that informs her story.


Having seen the Australian miniseries "Brides of Christ" on DVD, I had a fair idea about convent life in Australia in thes and the effects Vatican II had on the traditional sisters some of whom could not handle their newfound freedom and went quietly insane.
I wished Carla had talked more about this side of things, but her narrative is uneven and at times the chronology is confused, although she tries to give equal attention to the themes she explores.
It's not a difficult read, and at more thanpages, it's good for a rainy weekend, It's not as salacious as I expected, and although Carla's indignance and feelings of victimisation are difficult to cope with at times some of her story reads like that of a petulant child tattling to her mother when I contextualise all of these personal annoyances, everything falls into place.
The bit where she became a prostitute happened so quickly I still don't understand how it happened, She didn't explain this aspect of her life very well, Finally finished this. It got a bit tedious towards the end but all in all an interesting read, Bit uncomfortable

reading the rude bits on the train sometimes but at the same time it is quite funny to think someone might be reading over your shoulder.
Having said that though I always seem to get the people that haven't got the intelligence to carry tissues when their nose is running sitting next to me so it's doubtful they can read well enough to take any notice of my book.
Currently reading for our Book Club,



An interesting story, but a very confusing writer and one who I did not have much sympathy for despite her troubled life.
Not one I'd recommend.
“GODS CALLGIRL” by Carla Van Raay nonfiction

During World War, Carlas early childhood experiences in a small town in Holland revolved around her family struggles and Catholic upbringing that framed how one very young girl would perceive her place in the world controlled by adults and the Church.


A terrible secret, a busy and seemingly unsympathetic mother, and a childs inner conflicts about how she viewed the contradictions of her understanding of Church and God, moulded Carla as she grew into adulthood.


I was quite absorbed by her story in Holland, and her life in Australia within the convent, but became quite frustrated that at no time did she ever seek another opinion from the one inside her own head.
After her marriage and the birth of her child, Carla seems to be never satisfied and has a need to explore something she felt missing from her early life.


Entering into a life of prostitution was, I felt, initially only a shortterm solution, but further reading gave insight into Carlas turmoil and eventual addiction.


I became very impatient to finish this book, quite frustrated and annoyed by a total selfabsorption and indulgence of the author, however, those who grew up in Catholic convent education may appreciate this book far more than I.


I really loathed this book, and rushed to finish and be done with it! The author is filled with selfpity and looking to blame others for her own selfdesigned predicament.
While one feels great horror for the child who suffered at the betrayal and abuse from her father, I felt that there was something deliberatley omitted from the story.
This child was presented with a few potential confidantes that she chose to ignore and I did wonder why,

The remainder of the story continued in the same vein with the author at one moment intrigued by the seclusion of the convent, yet at the same time unable to make the most of her situation.
Yes, we understand that conditions were harsh in some circumstances, and that indeed much harm was done in such secretive cloistered living, but the author continued to place herself in situations seemingly deliberately in order to suffer more.
I guess some psychologists would blame her past of victimisation by her father, but once again, she had an opportunity NOT to be where she put herself.


The path that lead to her work as a prostitute is once again laid at the feet of her past, but I see a person who clearly made the decision, and perhaps if she had not been so unwilling to state and accept her own part in her life, maybe I could have empathised with her story.
Carla Van Raay is an interesting woman who led a perfectly imperfect life, The book serves as a memoir that chronicles her life from childhood, and the sexual abuse she experienced, to her time in a convent and onwards to her life as a prostitute and later finding self acceptance.


She makes some profound statements and whilst her story is so different from my short life so far I felt that our emotional journeys have in some way shared similarities.
This book made me face some of my own internal voices and stories,

A lot of the reviews on this book claim she never acknowledges the bad she does and that she plays the victim throughout but that is a part of her story and her struggle with life.
By the end she is able to cast of her self imposed story of victim and whilst she never says "i did this wrong and that wrong etcetc" she does acknowledge that she did what she felt was right at the time of her actions the same as we all do.
She acknowledges her emotional immaturity, I feel like going over all your wrongdoings in life is not exactly productive,

So, no maybe Carla isn't likeable necessarily but she is human and she shared that humanity with us, the reader.
At times interesting, tedious at others and it was hard to get through, I probably should have ditched it many times but ploughed on and have completed it, Not that well written either, making the story a bit disjointed, I was not overly fond of this book, I don't read a lot of memoirs and this one really was a good example of why, When you give a plot sumary this is a hugely eventful life, but it often came across as selfindulgent and I didn't often sympathise with the protagonist.




That said, many in my bookclub disagreed! We had a great evening of discussion and many felt that it was an engaging tale and that her behaviour was easily understood after all that she had been through.




The scores were:/

of us read and ranked it average works out at,. A friend told me about this book and at first description I was keen to read it, it sounded like a really interesting story right up my alley a woman's disillusionment and rejection of faith and Christian morals.
However a short while in and I was already disappointed, Carla Van Raay's book seems determined to cash in on the "virgin turned whore" attraction, Despite a significant portion of the book discussing the oppressive institution of the Catholic church and the cruel innerworking's of the convent, the book failed to enlighten me as to any rational thought regarding why the author gave up her faith.
There is little exploration of Catholicism itself the biography becomes a surface story about a woman abused by the system who thus chooses to take matters into her own hands and abuse herself.
God, or any discussion of God, is almost nonexistent and apparently irrelevant to Carla Van Raay's journey, Although I support the idea of claiming freedom from sexual oppression, it seems God's Callgirl goes to the other extreme, claiming that the repressed sexual desire's creates nymphomaniacs.
As autobiography, the book poses a rather thrilling and extreme story but it reminded me of an expanded article from the "Real Life" section of a 'Woman's Day' magazine with the headline "Sworn virgin becomes a hooker: how I went from nun to sex worker" which is all it basically is.


,sterren

Een openhartig en eerlijk boek met teveel schokkende gebeurtenissen voor één mensenleven,
Soms vond ik het boek een beetje van de hak op de tak geschreven maar dat is een klein detail,

Maar wat een leven zeg, . . Zullen maar weinigen zijn die dit meegemaakt hebben, Mijn respect naar Carla Van Raay hoe zij uiteindelijk alles heeft weten te verwerken! Wow! It's amazing that van Raay can remember every line and every hateful look in the eyes of nearly everyone in her life with whom she had problems which is nearly everyone, yet she dismisses her own foibles in a brief line or so.
She blithely throws out lines like "But it was my choice!" to give the idea that she's taking responsibility for her own actions, but she doesn't really believe it, and neither does the reader.
Don't bother with this one, Carla mengalami pelecehan seksual oleh ayahnya sendiri saat masih kanakkanak membuatnya trauma berkepanjangan, Dia beranjak dewasa dengan menyimpan sebuah rahasia gelap, dan dia senantiasa mencari cinta dan kasih sayang, Begitu pula saat dia memutuskan untuk masuk biara, menjadi seorang biarawati, mengabdikan hidupnya untuk Tuhan, Tetapi yang ditemukannya hanyalah dindingdinding nan bisu, Akhirnya dia pun melepaskan diri, terbebas dari sumpahnya,

Pernikahan yang gagal dan seorang anak perempuan yang membutuhkan biaya membuat Carla beralih ke profesi yang paling berlawanan, yaitu menjadi seorang pekerja seks komersial.
Sang pelacur Tuhan pun lahir, Segala pembenaran dicarinya demi menyucikan perbuatannya, Carla tak tahu, bahwa dia tak bisa melarikan diri selamanya, Ketika wajah asli nan buruk rupa dari bisnis itu menampakkan diri, Carla pun harus bangkit dan memulai perjalanan untuk menyingkap rahasia hidupnya.


Begitu lah. .